Beginning a relationship long distance

[jennifer.c]

Two months ago, I met a really great guy from another city who happened to be visiting for the weekend. We hit it off wonderfully and haven't gone a day without talking since. Early on, we would both constantly reiterate how much we liked each other and how eager we were to pursue whatever it was we had, despite the challenge of distance. We've also made it clear that we're exclusive, and that we plan to visit each other on a regular basis. But, we aren't officially "together", even though we act like we are in every other way besides the title.

We've only had a few visits so far, but I feel like I'm starting to cross over from the infatuation/honeymoon phase into the beginnings of an actual-deep-feelings phase. Which is scary to me, considering the distance and the fairly casual nature of this all. We haven't talked about this sort of thing in a while. I think he could feel the same just going by the way he acts, but still, I don't really know how to proceed.

I want to commit to a real relationship with him, and I know that in LDR's there needs to be an "end date" where you two will be living in the same area. Makes a lot of sense to do that when pre-existing relationships go long distance, but it's kind of tricky when it starts out that way. I'm willing to make the move at some point in the future (I've wanted to live in his area for a long time regardless and don't have much holding me to my home town; he knows this) but I'm scared he'd think I'm moving too fast if I bring it up. Considering how LDRs develop slower than normal, and you aren't even physically in each others' lives, I don't know how to get it to that next level. It feels like... to get to the next level, you have to live nearby, and to commit to moving nearby, you have to already be at that next level.

Is two months too soon to talk about getting more serious in this situation? And does anyone else have experience beginning a relationship with someone far away?

[Cerulean.]

I have. And I was pretty lucky. Usually, long distance relationships don't work (from what I've heard from friends). I was 20, and my best friend was going to school 3,000 miles away. He had come home one summer, and we hung out almost every day. We grew so close that everyone thought we were dating. A few days before he had to leave back for school, he invited me to go away with him, his dad and a friend for the weekend. That's when we hooked up. We played it off the next day like nothing happened. He left. A few weeks later, he confessed to me his feelings for me. I did the same. We talked for hours upon hours every day for the next three months. He visited during Christmas, we had a wonderful romantic time together. He left again. After New Years, we both confessed our love for one another. All these intense feelings grew just from being on the phone with one another. We would send each other long letters, packages, etc. Finally, he decided he wanted to switch majors and come back home to finish school. He did. And things were even better when we were together.

All in all, it is possible. It just depends on the person, and the amount of interest in the relationship. I happened to be very lucky. You should talk to him. Some people can fall in love within a matter of days to a couple months. Others, it takes a lot longer. Don't sound overboard with him, just ask him casually and make sure he knows you aren't trying to push anything, but you are wondering where this is going and if this has potential of becoming serious.

Good luck!

[IndiReloaded]

Generally, you're doomed. If this is an older guy, and he has a history of LDRs, watch out. Its a commitment-avoidance strategy for many bachelors. They end it ~2 year mark when its shit or get off the pot time. Just saying.

[Boisdevie]

To get to the next level in a relationship normally involved getting undressed and seeing each others rude bits and playing with them. How the **** are you going to do that then? Answer is you can't so the 'relationship' is ****ed before it begins. LDR is for idiots.

[KingZ]

Boisdevie is so goddamn narrow-minded. His train of thought is simple: "Are you having sex? No? HAVE SEX NOW."

Even his username means "wood of life".

[Boisdevie]

Boisdevie is so goddamn narrow-minded.

Guilty as charged. I believe that the physical side of a relationship is important - everything from holding hands to getting down and dirty. You can't do any of that if you're a gazillion ****ing miles apart.

[KingZ]

I'm reminded of Pierre Woodman.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierre_Woodman