Tips on what I could do and what my lady is thinking? Please help.

[roygoodbeat]

I have recently split up with my partner of 20 years. We have three lovely children, This is at the beginning stage and I am still living in the home.

My partner has been down recently and acting different. Her best friend moved out of the area and my youngest has started school. I began to notice her losing weight, wearing her best clothes and working extra hours at work. Her phone bill, (which is in my name) jumped up in usage. She began sending texts to a new number (29 in 2.5 weeks) and made a number of calls. She deletes these texts. I checked the number out as I was concerned and it is a colleague at work, I asked her about it and she went mad. Was almost acting desperate.

She then told me that it was over between us and that she has been unhappy for a while. She said that she had gone too far down the path to attempt to try to work things out, not even for the kids.

The texts and calls stopped but then I found a pay as you go mobile receipt. She denies having another phone even though I have seen her with it.

She says that there is no one else but she has been seen out with another guy.

The situation is breaking my heart. I have been to the doctor and I am showing signs of depression. We have had financial problems and I realise I have been low for a while, but not like this. I have been feeling low for a while because she never makes time for us. It is always something else. Even her brother noticed this 6 months ago when he came to stay.

On Saturday I was considering ending it all for myself. I have never felt so low. I don't have many friends, they are all hers and I know she has been discussing the situation with them, and her family.

The family went on holiday with her parents this week. I was meant to go but given the situation, she did not want me to go. As I will be still there at the home for the next couple of months, I am trying to think positive. I am going to try and make the environment better. We have let the house fall it a state. Whilst the family have been on holiday, I needed to concentrate on something. It gets very lonely on your own. So I have decorated the lounge and front room. Hope the kids love it. I hope she sees that I am trying to make an effort. It’s something she would not expect as she knows I have been in a mess. It may make the house feel better for all even if I do have to go. I have to start trying something but I want her to see who I am again.

I want to try and win her back. She says that there is no one else, even though the signs are there.

She is the best thing that has happened to me so I have decided that I will try to fight for her. I have to try for the 20 years we have spent together and my children. I am scared what it will do to my children. I know I have my faults and I know she says its over but I have to try.

If anyone can give some advice on the situation, that would help. I don't have anyone to talk to. Am I wrong about the signs? I need some (Not in your face) tips of what I could try or at least some advice on what she is going through so that I can help the situation.

[ttylox]

Sorry buddy but from the info you gave us, it certainly sounds like she's seeing one of her co-workers. And for her to go through the trouble of buying a new mobile to hide the affair is a pretty sure sign she's pretty into it. Why she's lying to you, I dunno - maybe she is afraid of what it will do to you.

If you want to fight for her then you're going to need to do more than decorate the house. But you didn't give us any information on why you are breaking up - so I can't really say anything more on that topic.

I think you should probably back off of her. She's trying to get away from you and it sounds like you're smothering her... and snooping... and generally being suffocating.