There is a third. Need advice.

[Magic_Storm]

Hello everybody,

I am having a problem with a young girl (19 years old) that is bothering me way too much. I am 24 years old, and already graduated from college with a bachelor degree. I am looking for a serious relationship with commitment, since my intention is to have a life partner and I don't have intentions of having a crappy relationship. I already experienced a 5 years serious relationship that ended last year, so I feel I have learned a lot from the good and bad of that experience and from myself.

Now to my problem:

I originally started talking to this young lady through the internet for many months before we had our first meeting which leaded to a type of romantic relationship. The months passed and we keep developing feelings. We have had already physical intimacy, although no penetration.

My problem here is that she have allowed things that I consider that are not right, and It keep bothering me and wondering what should I do.

She has a best friend that is in love with her. And he is pushy with his feelings for her and it has been like that for many months, and it seem to not stop. They were sexually open last year, and he keep trying being sexual to her. I already went through the crap that he touched her sexually this last August. And I decided to "let it go" because it was him who started it, although she did not do anything to stop it. He "apologized" to me about it, but he only apologized because she was feeling bad that I did not want anything with her anymore in that moment. And he keep being pushy and sexual to her after that. What I mean by that is that he keep trying to touch her and saying sexual things to her, and trying to push his feelings to her. I also have to suck that she gives him a ride to the university and vise verse. She spend a lot of time with him and goes to places with him always (Movies, restaurants, church, band practice, college, etc). It's like he is her boyfriend, always there in everything, and always texting her. I have a problem that I can't be with her constantly because I live in another place and I do not have a car to see her a lot, and her college schedule and events makes it harder to find a day to see her.

I have told her about this many times, and things are still the same, and she not only have this problem with me, the other guy also bother her about me. Now lately I have been logging in her Facebook to see what is going on with him because I was going crazy not knowing. And I found out that he push his feelings for her a lot, and tries to engage her sexually by making her remember things they did together last year, or any other sexual thing. I also found out through Facebook that he tried to touch her sexually in the car, and she did not share that with me. She had the nerve to say to me through message in that moment that she was feeling horny. Horny because someone else tried to touch you? Also giving compliments of how her boobs looks? When he talk about his feelings for her she does not reply or get tired of it, or just tell him to find someone else.

I warned her about him since this started to bother me. But I do not see any progress and it has been many months already.

There is also something else with another person. She went to a college trip to Europe where her teacher touched her sexually. She was not feeling well and went to his room in the hotel and he started to touch her. I want to make clear that when I say touch her I mean fingering her, kissing her, touching her breasts, etc. The professor (of 50 years old) believed that she liked him. She told me about this, and she just let it go. She "confronted" him, but what she told me is that he was telling her how much he likes her, how he loved seeing her figure, her breasts, etc. I warned her to go away of him and break contact, but she did not do that. She said that she was going to do it, but she did not. Later she added him to Facebook, and said she was going to delete him later, which she did not do. That was in June, and she still keep contact with him through Facebook and in college. And that man is like the other guy, he keep being pushy with his feelings all the time. And she likes talking to him.

To me, you should not allow people like that being there. You gives false hopes to those people to believe that they can have a chance with you.

I hope I did not sound too unclear. I find it hard to organize my thoughts about this matter to share it with others.

I am really in need of advices for this.

Thanks in advance.

[Boisdevie]

1. You are uncomfortable with her relationship with this other guy.
2. You have asked her to changed how she deals with this guy.
3. She's ignored you.
4. She has no respect for you.
5. Your relationship has no value whatsoever.

[Magic_Storm]

Thank you. Quite straight, and I appreciate your reply.

I would like to hear advices and comments from other members too.

[ttylox]

You gives false hopes to those people to believe that they can have a chance with you.

You mean... like she's doing to you?

This chick isn't your girlfriend, that's very clear. So leave her alone. Let her get banged by her professor and hook up with her bestie if she wants to. She's 19 and single. You're a long-distance lackey.

[Magic_Storm]

I have a romantic relationship wit her. She is "serious" about it, she tells me. She is interested in a future. She says to me "I love you", and that she wants me. I have told her that I am open to be her friend, but her reply to that is if she can't have me fully, then she rather leave (Zero contact). I have told her that I am open to a friendship because of what I see that is going on with the other guy and all the crap I get.

[sadie_genie]

Is it wrong to find this really funny?

[Ladybuggg]

She is a slut and keeps goig where he is and dont ignorehim.and she do no effort to stay away from him.stop wasting your timetime

[Boisdevie]

Is it wrong to find this really funny?

I know we shouldn't laugh at the misfortune of others. But sometimes we just can't help ourselves can we?

[sadie_genie]

I know we shouldn't laugh at the misfortune of others. But sometimes we just can't help ourselves can we?

I wasn't laughing at his misfortune. It is just so funny, he is getting worked up about a 19 year old girl's nonsensical behaviour.