The friend that knows all...

[lister79]

Hey,

Well I'm probably silly for staying on with this relationship as my previous experience with her isn't great but the main problem I have now is She tells her best friend (girl Friend) EVERYTHING...and in return her friend offers advise that pretty crap based on the fact she is 36 four divorces and cheated on every guy she has ever been with! She has stabbed me in the back, proved to be two faced and is generally a very vile person. I decided i have had enough of her and told my GF that I'm done with her friend and can she please stop talking to her about us as there have been a couple of times she has spoken to her and then I've recieved abusive phone calls, that her friend has basically wound her right up against me...she continues to tell her about us but denies it, even when I over heard the conversation by accident she still denied telling her about us. I'm 33, GF 34 and it feels like I'm involved in a three way relationship with two bloody teenagers!!!

She wants me to move in with her, and I'd like to but I feel a little hessitant as a result of all the lies and that they still continue.

I will not and never have stopped her from having friends, male or female, but I WILL not forgive this vile girl for the things she has said and done...and that she continues to as well....I mean, I was in her house fixing it up for her as she was single again (her doing from cheating) only to find out she was slagging me off behind my back to my GF...

Just wish she'd be honest, and respectful of our privacy!!

[ttylox]

First of all, this woman should absolutely NEVER be intervening and making phone calls to you. That is outrageously inappropriate. But for some reason, I have a feeling maybe your girlfriend asked her to? What did you do that made the two of them so upset? If you are physically or emotionally abusing your girlfriend and she's reaching out to this woman as a desperate attempt at protection then you can stop reading here - and go swallow a grenade.

This is all childish BS and it sounds like you know that very well. But I think the bigger problem - much bigger than her friend's medling - is your girlfriend bad mouthing you. I have a policy - I do not badmouth my partner, ever - not to anyone. If he's done something that pisses me off, I talk to him directly. If, for some reason, I feel like I *can't* go to him about it or that he doesn't know how to fix the problem either, we go to a therapist (or maybe loveforum.net).

[bcgirl]

This friend seems like a real drama queen. Sometimes a single girl that is lonely envies the friend in a good and loving relationship and therefore tries to sabotage. Yes very childish. Just tell your gf you really had had enough of her friend and u are thinking about moving in with her but can't due to the strain on the relationship this friend is putting. As for your gf, shame on her for bad mouthing u. I'm sure it's not all the friends wrong doing. It's a case of hoes before bros.

[Wakeup]

Well I'm probably silly for staying on with this relationship as my previous experience with her isn't great

Why is your girlfriend finding it such a necessity to bad mouth you? I think the fact that she wants to is good enough reason not to be moving in together. The friend it seems, isn't the real problem although she is contributing to it.

[Cerby]

The OP could simply have said "Whatever" and ignored the whole thing as people are going to talk to their friends. Instead he pretty much forbid his gf from speaking to her friend. That sounds like a great recipe for success. In turn, it is your gfs choice who she befriends, useless cunts or quality people. You can't make those choices for her.

OP, if you're sick of it, then leave. Putting in rules where you KNOW they can't stand aren't going to change things. Instead now you just have something more to be annoyed about.

[lister79]

Yeah I did say "whatever" many many times, but the fact that it still goes on and on and in turn winds her up only to come back at me is, well...tiring to say the least. I would never stop her being friends with anyone or who she speaks too but it was a case of last straw and I asked could she stop talking to that particular person about us...not anything else, just us. She agreed, said she sees how she winds her up, yet she still talks to her. The only other thing I asked is, that i'm very private about my finances whereas she is open about every penny to her friend...I simply asked her to not discuss my finances with her, and eventually when we are in together and joint accounts, then those bits involve me so please do not divulge it with her....then I find out she has already discussed my credit card, rent, overheads etc etc with her....I just want to be in a relationship that has privacy and respect but its not happening. I've asked politely, not demanded....and everystep she agrees on to my face only to do exactly the opposite behind my back. I've never been in a situation like this before...I've always had the privacy and they mine too...we're in our 30's for christ sake!!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Lister, your girlfriend is a stupid bitch. If you're too much of a pussy to dump her(don't worry, you are), at least don't be a complete ****ing moron and move in with her.

[lister79]

Backup......maybe your right, think I may just leave.

[steviej]

You need to take a real good look at this girl. She's clearly immature, a liar and disrespectful. Do you want that in your life? Is she causing you stress and hassle?

If it doesn't enrich your life get rid of it.

[bcgirl]

This is so immature beyond belief, she should just go on and marry her friend. I understand girls gossip, but when u ask her to respect your privacy and she keeps on disrespecting you and lying about it....well that is completely unacceptable. She has broken the trust barrier and she doesn't respect you one bit. Dump her and find a mature girl

[Wakeup]

Well I'm probably silly for staying on with this relationship as my previous experience with her isn't great

Just thought I'd repeat that back to you again, Lister.

[Phil Davies]

I remember I was living with these three drunken rejects in the ghetto after college trying to figure shit out, one of them was my best friend since we were 4. I met this girl, we got serious and I wanted to move out. My buddy (the old friend) kinda went bitch and started whining about it, just so happens his father was over visiting and the dad (imposing dude, rarely even talked) looked at his son and goes "Who the **** do you think you are? This guy (meaning me) is gonna have a wife and kids someday, you think he's gonna bullshit around with you playing streethockey and ****ing video games forever? Someday you'll meet someone too and she'll be all you think and care about and guess what, thats ok, its how you got here, dumb shit. If I had an asshole friend like you breaking MY balls you and your brother would be sock stains." ... and he walked out of the room. We all sat there in silence for like 3 minutes. I moved out and we're still best friends. I ended up marrying the girl by the way.

Do you understand the point of this story? When its right, meddling friends don't matter. You'll use them as a crutch for various shit but when a relationship becomes serious its you and her and thats it. Everyone else is outside your circle looking in. This happens naturally over time as you spend more time with her and she spends less time with her friend. or her friend finally gets a decent dickin'. If you love this chick and think shes worth a little effort stick around long enough for her to outgrow that vile bitch, trust me it'll happen eventually.

[Wakeup]

I remember I was living with these three drunken rejects in the ghetto after college trying to figure shit out, one of them was my best friend since we were 4. I met this girl, we got serious and I wanted to move out. My buddy (the old friend) kinda went bitch and started whining about it, just so happens his father was over visiting and the dad (imposing dude, rarely even talked) looked at his son and goes "Who the **** do you think you are? This guy (meaning me) is gonna have a wife and kids someday, you think he's gonna bullshit around with you playing streethockey and ****ing video games forever? Someday you'll meet someone too and she'll be all you think and care about and guess what, thats ok, its how you got here, dumb shit. If I had an asshole friend like you breaking MY balls you and your brother would be sock stains." ... and he walked out of the room. We all sat there in silence for like 3 minutes. I moved out and we're still best friends. I ended up marrying the girl by the way.

Do you understand the point of this story? When its right, meddling friends don't matter. You'll use them as a crutch for various shit but when a relationship becomes serious its you and her and thats it. Everyone else is outside your circle looking in. This happens naturally over time as you spend more time with her and she spends less time with her friend. or her friend finally gets a decent dickin'. If you love this chick and think shes worth a little effort stick around long enough for her to outgrow that vile bitch, trust me it'll happen eventually.

Nice story but I disagree: if it was going to happen.. it would have happened long before now. You don't bad mouth your other half all the time and then suddenly stop. This aint going to "stop naturally over time" in this case.

He's already admitted to having had a bad experience with her prior which means this has been an off and on relationship.... They never turn out happily ever after.

[Phil Davies]

It will eventually. How many 60 year old women in your bingo support group have besties that send pissed off "leave my friend alone" texts to other women's husbands? Men and women both outgrow the super tight, attached at the hip and in your ear all the time "friends" when they get deep into serious relationships, its the natural order of things.

Sisters on the other hand. Don't even get me started about those.

[bcgirl]

We're talking about a dumb twat that bitches about her bf to another dumb twat while the bf asks her not to, but she doesn't give a shit. This dumb twat is not marriage material so forget it. F#ck her one last time and after the sex, tell her it ain't gunna work and peace out. I'm sure her and her friend will have plenty to talk about for the next year