What is a girl to do???

[Lele1981]

Ok guys I need your help...

I met this guy a few months back and we hit it off from the word go! Unfortunately the timing was bad as I had just freshly been out of a long relationship and he was due to go overseas for a while. I was casually
Seeing other people and he knew I was not in the right mind space to enter another long term commitment
We decided that we would enjoy eachothers company until he left but things got very serious quickly and
We agreed to not see eachother anymore as we both agreed that we were falling for eacother. I didn't hear
From him for a while and he started to contact me while he was OS. He spoke about us possibly being together when he got home and saying that he wanted to be serious with me and so on... Months later and he is back! We saw eacother alot for the first week and he told me the other day that he does not want commitment? I asked as to what had changed and he said he didn't know? He said that he didn't want to lead me on and wanted to be friends.. I have not spoken to him since.. My question is, what should I do? I can't get him out of my head and he is the one I want to be with.. Your advuce would be greatly appreciated

[searock]

He doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with you... he actually said he wants to be just friends. What you should do is co no contact until you feel nothing for him, and in the meanwhile meet other men and have fun!

[Lele1981]

I guess deep down inside I know that contacting him would be a bad thing to do and I haven't made any contact so far. I guess the initial shock of what he said sinks in more and more each day. He just was so keen and eager for a long time to be together, said he was falling in love with me and them bam, he freaked out! He was married a bit over a year ago and said to me recently that he felt like he failed by getting a divorce, married her and bought a house too young... It's hard to get over when you don't have a real answer..? Thanks for the advice!!

[searock]

You won't get any closure or answers from him... so yeah, don't contact him, it would only make it more awkward for you both, and more painful for you. I know it's hard to accept that something that could have blossomed died before it even began, but accepting is the only thing you can do, and it will bring you serenity again. There are plenty of fish in the sea :-).