Decisions Decisions, take her back or leave her?

[markcurrie1993]

Hi,
I am having a lot of troubles with my relation ship at the moment.

Last August was when I met my girlfriend Gemma and at this period of time she has not long been split up with her ex boyfriend and she told me plenty of times that she did not want a relationship. Although she told me this, she was showing me a very different side, I was seeing her all the time, met her parents, she was sleeping over. But she took advantage of this as I had a car and a bit of money and was making me run her round and me (as a mug) bought her 300 pound bags etc and she was very very nasty and horrible to me and I would let her be as I was scared if I said something I would loose her.

Anyway we went on till November and we kind of broke apart mainly because she said so and then she just started blanking me. I then bumped into her in December and she was very upset and kept repeating herself saying sorry and kissing me etc and then we started a fresh.

Now I had a better job and more money etc she again took advantage of me in many ways and was horrible to me and was talking to other boys etc.

She then got insured on my car ( bear in mind i was 18 at the time, now 19) and if i wouldnt let her have it then she would flip and say she wanted to split up and stuff.
I was going on a stag du in May and for the duration of my stay i said she could have my car and the day i was leaving my mother said no as she wants it to stay outside our house, and Ashley once again got a cob on and said we had split up and i didnt speak to her once while i was away.

anyway i got back off holiday and she said she loved me etc and wants to maybee try and be boy friend and girlfriend and after that it was going all good

UNTILL she wanted to go on holiday, so I had to fork out 2k to go to cuba because she didnt want to go anywere like spain or teneriffe or somewere like that. and the holiday in cuba showed her true true colours and she wasnt very nice and appriciative of me.

so when we got home i told her straight and grew a back bone and said i dont wana be with you no more and then she realised and i seen her so upset and really really devastated and that was it then. But she kept in touch with me and we ended up giving it 1 more chance! and then after about 2 weeks she started going horrible again and really bad and i seen some pics on facebook of her kissin lads on the cheek and holding there hands and stuff and i let it blow over my head and ignore it.

And about 4 weeks ago i went out with my mates and her mates to a nightclub and i cought her coming out of the male cubicle toilet with a random boy she doesnt even know and who i didnt know and therfore i decided to split up with her and we still are split up. the following morning i said some horrible things to her calling her a slag etc and she threw her phone at me and hit me couple of times in the face.

she is still really upset and asking me to take her back and she has bought me stuff and left it on the door (aftershave, trainers and a big 4 page love letter she wrote)
Im now having second thoughts and debating wether to take her back or not. None of my family like her because of all the trouble and there saying no, but i want like a 3rd partys opinion!

I know i have gone on and on im sorry i just really need help

I know my spelling is rubbish and grammer etc but im in a rush im sorry!

Thankyou

[reeba]

all you did was give many good reasons on why you should not take her back. not one reason for why you should take her back EXCEPT she said she was sorry, wrote a letter, and bought you some stuff.

if YOU really wanted us to say, take her back, you would have written something good about her.

does this answer the question?

[IndiReloaded]

Didn't you take her back once already after the Cuba trip? How did that work out for you?

You're too young for this drama. If you were married w/kids, I'd say haul her ass to counselling to learn respectful behaviour. Try one more time, with intent. But you're not.

Some people never learn until they truly lose something of value. Some not even then. Consider she might learn more from your breakup--be honest about your reasons--than from you taking her back. I say let her go.

[Boisdevie]

It's clear you need help. Because she's treating you lilke a dickhead. She must have a gold-lined pussy or something. Man, you really are a class 1 tit aren't you? Take her back? I'd take her about as far as the nearest bloody canal and push her in.

[Daya]

Hi markcurrie1993
Love is about caring and respecting one another and your post about this girl and you does not show much respect from her to you. For that reason it has nothing to do with Love. It may be that both of you see it as Love, but it is really just a need each one of you are filling in the other person.

From your post it seems to me like you need to work within before you begin any relationship and taking her back would not benefit you, as neither one of you would have a no need for change and you would end up in the same situation again and again.

Work on loving yourself enough that you do not let others take advantage of your caring nature. A relationship is about supporting each other so both parts feels empowered and can grow as an individual. The way you have described your relationship with this girl, shows that she is just taking advantage of you and she comes across as being 'a spoiled princess'.

Learn to set boundaries and think about what YOU want from a relationship, then love yourself enough to not sell yourself short. Selling yourself short will only lead to misery for you and in the end for a relationship.

Love Daya

[Self Tweaks]

How many times do you need to get burned before you realize that fire is hot? She doesn't want you, she just wants what you can do for her.

Grow a bigger backbone and dump her for good. Do NOT communicate with her and learn to think with the head that's on your shoulders, not the head between your legs.

[traidoradotnet]

Leave her because of a simple reason: you both don't deserve each other.

I know it's easier said than done, but in the way you presented her there are some things I don't understand. Did you ever feel that she cares?

Get yourself a better girl. Don't make your life miserable just because of a person who doesn't know what she really wants in life. You keep repeating same mistakes everytime you take her back. I'm afraid you also have to take the blame if she's just using you, because you're tolerating her. Goodluck to you!