Not sure what to do. A lot to read.

[AGuy101]

I have a lot to say:

I am still in high school and have yet to date before. I am into philosophy. I used to be kinda weighty and somewhat uncaring in my hygiene. I typically wore dress shoes, dress pants and button-downs: the school has a dress code. But I still wasn't doing much with my looks.

I have been asked out before but I have never done it myself and I have never seriously talked to anyone about some "momentary" affection. However, recently, I got into a conversation with a petite girl who is in the same grade as myself. Her boyfriend had recently broken up with her and she wanted to know if anyone knew anything about psychology. I said I might and started answering her questions and looking at her purposefully. Her and everyone else seated at a table in study hall were impressed. It was a small table with a group of about 4 friends and her.

I really liked talking to her. I cannot describe my immense love for philosophy and having no one to talk to save: "reason is naive" or "love does not have a definition." I cannot talk to anyone save professors from colleges through pod casts and etc. I did not think much of the conversation really. I just new I liked it and was angry when the bell rang. I went to a costume party the following weekend and I saw her there. That's when I explicitly noticed her petite-ness and my affection towards her.

There are a lot of girls in my school with big butts, bosoms, etc. But her short height and womanly features seemed to be romantically exaggerated in my mind. They seemed to be stressed everywhere. She is friendly to me and she is friendly to everyone.

When I left the party I new I had feelings for her. I mean this honestly, without the bromide: I was thinking about her all night. I could not sleep. I am a philosophically-honest man. I do not hide gaps in my thinking and she became my thinking. I decided to talk to her the following Monday. I had thought about everything I wanted to say to her. I had researched and read all over the internet.

On the Monday I sat by her on the bleachers. We were in the gym for study hall that day. She was sitting by our usual group. I sat by her and offered her and my friends some gum. I made sure I was clean and wore a nice jacket. I started to talk to her about her feelings. She had a 6 month relationship with her previous boyfriend and it was very serious. They even got sexual. He broke up with her and continued to flirt and grab her in school. And every time she asked him why he broke it off it, he would say: "You wouldn't understand" or "I could not stand the arguing." The arguing was a result of his lying to her so he could hang with friends.

I later formed my own conclusion of why he broke up with her but I don't think that's relevant. Anyway I talked to her about her future career and she showed me pictures of her ex and I tried to help her. She complimented me by saying I am good with "psychology" and "philosophy." Etc. It was about 30-38 minutes of talking. I decided to tell her how I felt at the last 5 minutes of study hall. What I said was:

"I want to tell you something."
She said: "Alright" then arched her back and her countenance shifted neutrally from the smiles and direct eye contact she was giving me for half and hour.
"I like talking to you and being around you-"
"I just want to go bowling." She explains how she was going bowling that day and how she just wanted to do it with her friend. She already mentioned it before. I proceeded with:
"Well, maybe, just me and you can hang out and talk about anything you want, sometime."
"That's fine." Then she listed days when she was not working and I have since forgot those days and am angry for it.
"I hope I did not make you uncomfortable."
"No, it's fine."

I did not feel rejected or anything. I felt respect and I started to rationalize in-congruently. I was thinking about how it went wrong so-to-speak. She was a somewhat frequent victim of being asked out by what she called "manwhores" and etc which she thought were trying to take advantage of her. I thought so too since I was familiar with the men. I thought that, to her, I might have come off as someone who was trying to "understand her" then to "take advantage of that trust."

The following weeks and days I had class with her were obstructed by some school closing or half-day or something. I am not kidding. For about a month. I have been thinking about it and what-not. My friend respected me for what I did. He, being an existentialist, he thought I was incapable of anything. On the Monday I asked her out, I started "P90X" which I had tried this summer but quit. I was going to do it no matter what she said to me. I have since (about 25 days) went from 165 pounds to 142 pounds at 5' 7". And I have improved my athleticism and style-fashion.

The changes in my physical appearance have been an ostentatious silence to everyone. I am about to head into month two of P90X. Friends, classmates and teachers have complimented on my style and I think my closer friends who would jokingly mock me before have stopped. People are quiet around me or are welcoming.

The girl who I told my feelings to has been a little shy or quiet in her conversations to me. Especially lately. I have tried to avoid looking at her/talking to her because I felt I should give her space. She was not very talkative to me in the same manner. I told my friend quietly once that I would eventually get her and my striving for her affection has not changed. But I do not look in her direction and I try not to start conversations with her though I really want to.

Today, in gym, I was wearing very short running shorts and a v-neck. My friend who used to make fun of me in every way did not say much of it. Some people looked at it and laughed then said they liked it and nothing changed in our foot-ball game in the gym. During the class she tried to stray away from me and I caught her looking at me when I turned a lot. I was able to even throw the ball to her in the game. I also caught her applying lip-balm or lipstick and she was looking at me from a-far. The whole time she was avoiding me. But it was very obvious today. She has even started going up the same stairs as I do and walks past me really fast when we get to the hall and does not look at me.

Then after 5th period I walked down the stairs on my way to lunch. I started for the last stairs to the cafeteria and she ran in front of me with a *cough* grumble noise that sounds like something out of a movie. I was behind her and continued to walk to my table and she was trying to turn around and trying to look forward moving really fast. I didn't say anything to her but now I wonder if I should have said "hi."

What I want to know is if she might like me and might be shy or if she is trying to avoid me and thinks I am a weirdo. I looked on the internet and a lot of articles say most likely the woman is shy but none of them included the man telling the woman directly how he "liked to be around her."

It is then I decided to join this forum to get feedback from women. What should I do? Am I exaggerating? Should I wait? Should I talk to her on Monday? If I don't will I lose her interest? Anything. Please. Any comments.

If there are any specific details I left out that need to be answered please tell me. I know completely what I like about this girl. My judgment could be wrong in the fact that her gait, posture and expressions are not true to her view of life and her values. What I like in her are her eyes. This is not some platitude or some wishy-romantic babble. When I talked to her I admired the honesty of her eyes. By honest I mean: wanting to learn and talk. Someone who does not give up on thinking. Please respond.

Thank You.

[smackie9]

You have feelings for her and she does not have feelings for you. You coming forward and letting her know how you feel made things awkward. She is avoiding you because it's her way of saying "I'm not interested in you". You didn't do anything wrong, you just got rejected and it's time to move on. You were friend zoned, and not a romantic interest to her at the start.

[searock]

I agree, she isn't interested. She is avoiding you because she doesn't want you to think that she is interested, and because it is now awkward for her to be around you, since she knows how you feel and does not reciprocate. You should stop looking at her ofter (that creeps her out), and don't talk to her unless she talks to you first. Even if she does talk to you first, keep in mind that she is not interested in anything romantic with you. Sorry!

[Negan]

Okay, have you noticed that when a girl acts nice to a guy, he immediately thinks that she's interested in him? That's EXACTLY what happened. She was a nice girl, you were a naive guy, magic happened and you started to like her. She obviously noticed (You would be surprised how easy is to spot that) and she's clearly not interested. But she's still being nice, so instead of telling you "Hey, i don't like you." she simply avoids you.
Do not despair though. You seem like a very intelligent man, and if you improve your style and looks, you will definitely get any girl you would ever want. Just takes a little work, and a piece of advice: Because it will happen a lot in the following years, try not to fall for every girl on the street that is looking at you / acting nice towards you.

[smackie9]

The only way to really tell that a girl is interested in you is that she agrees to go out on a official date with you more than once. Sometimes, if you are lucky, they will hint at you to ask them out. It all boils down to experience. Negan is right, don't invest your feelings right off the bat. It's better to have and express those feelings when you are already in a relationship after things have progressed. Both males and females like the chase and to be chased...it's a like a dance, where there is some mystery, challenge, and excitement. To reveal feelings too soon spoils everything.

[AGuy101]

What should I do when I see her? I have gym and study hall with her.

[smackie9]

Just act kool like nothing happened. Being nonchalant will show her you have no interest in her anymore.

[AGuy101]

Alright. I have been doing that for a month. I will continue to do that.

[searock]

Alright. I have been doing that for a month. I will continue to do that.

...and start not looking at her often anymore. Just act like you would with any other girl you aren't interested in.

[AGuy101]

I don't purposefully look in her direction. If she happens to be in my field-of-view I said I would see her looking at me then turn away. But I will try to avoid eye contact all together.

[Negan]

Then don't look at her at all. Girls are illogical, and even if she's in your field of view and you happen to see her looking at you, she will most likely think that you;re a creeper than is stalking her. My advice, get in FRONT of her and not in her back / back of the class. That way you won't be bothered and she will have to look at your coolness and carelessness daily.
Pro tip: Act as if you don't give a **** about girls. Never talk about romance with any girl you may meet along the way. Once she starts to talk about her exes, lovers and such, it's game OVER for you lad.

[searock]

Then don't look at her at all. Girls are illogical, and even if she's in your field of view and you happen to see her looking at you, she will most likely think that you;re a creeper than is stalking her. My advice, get in FRONT of her and not in her back / back of the class. That way you won't be bothered and she will have to look at your coolness and carelessness daily.

Agreed, apart from the "girls are illogical - she'll think you're a creeper" thing: he would actually be actively looking at her, so she would be right.

Pro tip: Act as if you don't give a **** about girls. Never talk about romance with any girl you may meet along the way. Once she starts to talk about her exes, lovers and such, it's game OVER for you lad.

This is SO not true. I used to talk about romance with my current boyfriend all the time, when we were best friends. That's actually how I fell in love with him.

[smackie9]

He is saying that majority of girls (not so much as women) that do that are putting the guy into the friends zone. And I have to agree. When I was interested in someone I didn't talk about that crap because I know it's a turn off. Then again I never wanted to date any of my male friends....that why they were friends.

[searock]

I also didn't want to date my current boyfriend and that's why he was my friend, but I gradually fell in love with him the more we talked and had deep conversations, even about romance and stuff.

[smackie9]

This where I'm different...I follow my hormones not my emotions. It made dating so much easier.