How do I get over nearly breaking up with my boyfriend?

[DawkinsDaFihsh]

2 nights ago me and my boyfriend of nearly three yrs got into a massive argument as we have been a lot lately and he told me straight, he loves me more than everything but he doesn't think we are working because of my attitude. I've gotta admit, lately it has been awful. I've been snapping at everything, taking everything to heart and not letting things go. After a lot of tears and talking, he agreed to give me one more chance but says I really do have to change. He says he doesn't want me to do anything drastic, just be nicer, that is all.

He said he thinks it is for the best if we break up because he isn't sure if I can be nicer but I am so determinded to make this work. In the last fortnight I started taking a new contraceptive pill that stops me getting my period at all and I will admit, that has helped and I am also starting vitamins that are apparently good for mood swings. He also wants me to admit if something is getting to me, I've to tell him rather than bottle it up like I used to and then just snap randomly.

Yesterday and today have been good. We haven't argued at all and we've actually been having a laugh and I feel good, I don't feel like I am being fake nice or anything like that. He said its too early to tell if I have changed obviously but he said if I keep on like this, we have nothing to worry about and he also said, even if we have little arguments now and then, they will be fine because most of the time, we have been good if I keep it up.

I totally get where he is coming from with all of this and I told him today I find it uncomfortable being in a relationship with someone who is kinda preparing for me slipping up and then us breaking up but he said he hasn't been thinking about the other night at all and he's been enjoying the last two days and he wants it to be like that all of the time. I'm not one of these people that gets over things quickly so its been draining and going round my head for the last two days. He said if I just forget about the argument and just have fun and be nice, before I know it, we'll be as secure as we used to be, if not better. I know that wont happen overnight. It could take weeks or months but I did agree to do this rather than break up.

I'd just like to know some ways I could try and forget about the other night and the possibility we may break up :/

[smackie9]

You are spending too much time together. It's a case of getting on each others nerves. In order to make this work, you both need a life, friends, and interests outside of the relationship. Go and do your own thing and stop making this relationship your whole world. Take up running, go to the gym, take a pottery class, have a girls night out, go out to the clubs dancing, do things for yourself.

[DawkinsDaFihsh]

Yeah I do agree with you there. We do spend almost every minute of the day together. The only time apart we really have is at college but we both go to the same college so we usually see each other a lot.

[HeartIsAching]

I think the worst thing you can do is try and forget the other night. Once you do, you'll be back to your old ways. What you really need is some help.

Here's a book I think you might do well to read:

http://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319

Some additional info on it:

http://www.toltecspirit.com/

[DawkinsDaFihsh]

I do agree with what you are saying because it really is so easy to just snap back I suppose what I should do is not focus mainly on the possibility of us breaking up but to focus on how good things will be if I improve?

[basilandthyme]

Dawkins, have you been crabby with everyone or just your boyfriend? If it's just your boyfriend, it's worth considering if he actually brings out the worst in you.
Have a think about the things you have been fighting about: are you completely outrageous in your argumentative ways....or does he do things which would drive anybody nutty?

It is entirely possible that your moods are a legitimate reaction to a mismatched relationship.

[DawkinsDaFihsh]

Not gonna lie, just snappy with him. Most of the time we get on great but when we don't get on, its terrible and most of the time its my PMS that causes it. I do agree with what you are saying, I have thought that before but when we are good, we are really good so its hard to believe its because of a mis-match.

Thanks for your replies everyone. Still feeling pretty grim