need advice

[para2469]

Hi guys, i need the imput from as many people as possible to try and understand whats going on in my relationship.
Well i met the lady of my dreams about a year and a half ago we moved in together very quickly and things were wonderful we married in september this year so you would think a happy ending,alas not .When we met she told me how badley she had been treated by other guys ex husband etc cheated on her another ex hit her and so it went on, now being the guy i am my heart went out to her i had just moved up north from the south and it seems im a little differant to most guys up here.
Anyway thats the background as times gone on i have since found out that at the age of 40 her marriage split she had a full historectomy and found out she had herpes. I think she went a bit wild then she is now 48 and in that time from what she has said been with 11 guys all finished badly we all know that these figures may well be wrong one she saw on and off a lot which turned out to be a married man which she knew he was i wasnt very happy about it but have got on with things you see ive been cheated on so leaves a bad taste in my mouth. We were fine until i found out that since living together she had had texts fro another ex but didnt tell me i was gutted she lied to me as i had asked her if anyone had been in contact and been told on many occaisions no. Well we moved on but i always felt in my gut i wasnt being told something and i guess that still remains today i now am informed she is going through the menopause which answers some questions as i lost all my confidence in the bedroom as she never had an orgasm and didnt really seem into sex and just going through the prosses for me. Well its caused fights as i feel she just doesnt fancy me take into account another situation she works at a solicitors and works for a younger guy they have worked togeather for a while so i guess are fairly close i feel somthing is not right here they fight like a married couple and although she doesnt admit it she talks to him a lot. She has pushed a few issues with me on this she bought him an xmas presant i was selling a sofa he bought it and wanted to pick it up he had a van and said he would take her to mine after work i wasnt keen on this and her solution was to tell him and all the other guys in the office i was jealous was that right? I ended up having the micky taken out of me i told her she did nothing. When it came to the wedding she gave him an evening invite but he didnt come he never signed th staff card for her and didnt stay for a drink in the office to celebrate she said its because he doesnt drink but the fact is he does she forgets i was out for a christmas drink and so know he does. i said he seemed a bit off considering hes her boss but she said hes just like that i now have found out he text her on our wedding day i dont know what it was as she had deleted it. So why all this well its because at the weekend we seem fine but monday to friday it all goes wrong she is distant and doesnt seem interested in me and if i say something she gets really annoyed. any answers please.
Lastly another issue we have a differance in opionion on she has an older female friend whos husband everytime we see them makes sexual comment to my wife she says hes only joking but i hate it again she says its just the way he is. is that really an excus am i blowing things out of proportion its just we have been invited out for a meal and he will be there im dredding it. Now at this point i have to say i am really open with her ive never cheated on anyone i was clean do the ironing and cook so mid week she can have her shower do her hair it takes around 2 hours so i do it to give us some time togeather she tells me she loves me and i believe she does but my gut tells me something is not right or im not being told something or both. please help.

[bcgirl]

Your wife wants a bad boy. Your too good and she has lost interest fast. She needs that beer drinking, bad mouthed abuser. Can't teAch an old dog new tricks

[para2469]

That is something that crossed my mind I have said that to her and the reply is I don't I would get rid of them straight away so what am I to do

[Davies_]

This woman knows you so well and so she knows where to press for you to respond positively. she is using you for security in case her day doesn't go well one day. She is playing you. bare in mind that you are number 12 and she is keeping all of you at arm's length so that she can enjoy whoever she wants at her convenience. I am sure she is seeing all those men paying her attention even in your presence.
you are saying you have been a good man so i want to believe you deserve better than this. There are so many good young girls who are just waiting for a good man like you. You deserve better than this person who is always tormenting you and frustrating your good will. Dump her! and give yourself time to be heal from this torture she's put you through. Believe me, you can do much better than this. good luck!!!