Dating my sons Aunt/ ex's sister!

[Singledad302]

Ok so I am new here and I come seeking advice and don't care for rudeness... This is my story. My ex and I were together for 4.5 years. From the start of our relationship it was required that I must have a friendship with her younger sister/bestfriend. No big deal. Well on that four years her sister and I became best friends and nothing more. We hung out a lot even when my ex wasn't around. To sum up that part my ex and I have a 2 year old son and things were not working out no matter how hard I tried. She had the need to text and flirt with random guys she met at work and I'm sorry but that's unacceptable. I left her 6 months ago and e are very civil with one another. This is where it gets messy! Her sister and I remained best friends and we still hang out.( ex is fine with it) About a month ago her and I were drinking and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. We both afterwards agreed that it was wrong and we can't let that happen again... Needless to say it has continued almost everyday for the past month. My ex has no knowledge of this going on, but she is going to find out if we continue. I didn't do this to be a slime ball, I'm not a pig of anything like that. There was a major connection when we kissed. We know everything about one another and we are ok with our pasts... What do I do? This was never planned but it feels way to right to be wrong and we both agree. It's a very messed up situation, I know. But I think because we were so close for so long it was destined to happen. I'm not worried about how my ex thinks of me or anything. I worry about her sister!

[smackie9]

This is between her and her sister, because she is the one that has the most to lose. I'm sure your ex is starting to suspect something is going on after a few more months, so she better deal with it soon. Time to have a talk with your GF there about not keeping this a secret for much longer if you two think there is a future together.

[Singledad302]

Thank you! As much as I want to keep telling myself it's wrong, it just doesn't feel it! My ex and I don't want each other and I know there is some girl code about not dating ex's and I'm sure it's worse with sisters! We are both single, we don't want her permission to continue, but we feel that if she finds out while we are sneaking around, she will think that it may have been going on for a looong time! I can't help the way I feel about her and I know we wouldn't even know one another of not for me being with her sister. She is 8 years younger thane but very mature and very smart. Sometimes I wonder how long have I felt something more than just friend feelings for her. I have never done anything like this and I wish they weren't sisters... But I can't control who I have feelings for, I know I shouldn't have acted on them but I did and I can say is, Wow! This is what I have been missing out on! It's not just the sex either. I love being around her, very affectionate, sweet and very intelligent... Problem is, she is my sons aunt! Which means of this does work out she would be aunt/stepmom and of we had a child they would be brother/cousins ( brousins)

[HeartIsAching]

We both afterwards agreed that it was wrong and we can't let that happen again...

Why? I don't get it. She's your EX. What you do now isn't her business. You actually did very well in setting a boundary and sticking to it with her - she crossed the boundary, the relationship is over, and your personal life isn't her concern anymore. Period.

[Singledad302]

Haha thanks.. I'm not worried about how she feels about me or anything, but what I am doing in my time directly effects more than just the girl I'm dating and myself... It's her and her sister that I'm worried for! I never wanted to be the cause of problems between them. I just know my ex isn't going to say go for it sister, date my sons father and give him everything I failed to give! Her sister now sees our son more than both of us do lol.. Ok so she is 20 and I am 28. My ex is 25 and it's just going to be messy, but it's not like I just want a fling, I can see this going somewhere amazing and I think it's worth the trouble, but again I'm not the sisters

[bcgirl]

The odds this relationship with the sis is going to last a lifetime is pretty much slim to none. Statistically speaking. What u have is a son. Do u really want to put your son into a dysfunctional situation knowing that his father f#cked mom and auntie?

[Singledad302]

Well I'm not so much worried about how that will play out down the road. He is two now, we don't gotta get all crazy and kiss and hold hands around my little boy or anything. He is used to us being around one another a lot anyway. If it doesn't work out in the short term there is no reason why he needs to ever hear about it. If it does work out which who the heck really knows these days. He will have His mom his dad and a stepmom that will love him more than any other woman I could find. It's not the ideal situation, but either is a broken home... If its acceptable for a gay couple to adopt a child (not against it) then there is no reason why this should ever matter. I'm worried about the sisters

[Cerby]

Question from a hypothetical situation...

You have a kid with the 20 yo woman, who is biologically related to your son, but not his mother. You now have 2 children from the same maternal bloodline, but different mothers. What are they called to each other? Siblings? Step-siblings? One calls one of the women "Aunt" while the other calls her "Mom", and this goes for both children. Imagine the redicule at school these poor kids would have.

This of course is hypothetical as I don't know if you actually see a future or just a f*ck buddy, but still, this screams "f*cked up" to me.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I suggest you stop thinking about this "connection" you have with this girl. If you want to **** her, then by all means I think you should split her in half, just don't be dumb enough to think you're going to ride into the sunset. Stop thinking about your so called connection and just **** this girl. Anything beyond that will be messy. The girl is 20 moron.

[smackie9]

Ya I have to agree this is just infactuation as a result of just getting out of a crappy relationship. She's 20, this is just a fad for her....out of lust. I doubt you will have to worry about marriage or anything like that, because it's very doubtful it's going to happen....you are just f ucking each other.....the excitement will eventually wear off in about 4 months anyways.

[bcgirl]

Well I'm not so much worried about how that will play out down the road. He is two now, we don't gotta get all crazy and kiss and hold hands around my little boy or anything. He is used to us being around one another a lot anyway. If it doesn't work out in the short term there is no reason why he needs to ever hear about it. If it does work out which who the heck really knows these days. He will have His mom his dad and a stepmom that will love him more than any other woman I could find. It's not the ideal situation, but either is a broken home... If its acceptable for a gay couple to adopt a child (not against it) then there is no reason why this should ever matter. I'm worried about the sisters

It's socially more acceptable in this culture for gays to adopt than it is for A dad to screw mom and aunt and worse to have a bro-cousin or a sis-cousin. This is still considered taboo and socially unacceptable. I haven't seen celebs endorsing bro-cousin shirts yet

[Singledad302]

Ok first of all, I have 50% custody of my son and I am not now or ever going and sleeping around, hence why I drink with my good friend on my weekends that I don't have my son. Secondly, her and I aren't innocent in any way, we both have skeletons in our closets. If it were just about sex I wouldn't be on this forum! Some of the replies have been very disrespectful! Lastly, I am not bitter towards my ex, I left her on good terms and we are very civil! The last thing I would want to do is try to hurt her intentionally! We both have moved on since the break up... Being judged by others is not something either one of us is worried about! I could care less. If it ever got that far in the first place where we had kids together, it's not too crazy to raise them as brothers or brother and sister. If the families can coexist it's sure as hell a better living environment then a lot of couples that are together still. I could understand if she were my sister but she isn't! What I am concerned about is if this sister sister bond will be destroyed forever! I don't need to hear about how it's trashy of how I should just bang her! She is my best friend and sorry I respect her way too much to do that! If I could change the situation I would, but it's just not the case! It's a more common event than I realized and after a lot of research it seems to happen mostly in white collar families. Somebody will judge you no matter what you do, that shouldn't matter much at all... So I ask only mature people that can keep their head out of the gutter to respond!

[Wakeup]

How long have you and your ex been broken up and how long did you actually go together? I find it funny that you broke up with her because she was flirting with men from work via text (which is a deal breaker for you) while you were out one-on-one with your ex's sister, doing date like things with her and giving each other googoo "come-****-me" eyes. My point. How about you give one another a break for awhile, away from one another and all this new relationship energy and give yourself a moment to look at this through logical minds no clouded by bodily fluids.

She's 20.. what will her parents say, what will her sister say, what will your son wonder? You jump from one half-assed relationship into another.

[Singledad302]

Ok first of all, it wasn't just harmless flirting with men from work. It was pic trading and a lot of flirting for a while. We were together for 4.5 years. I left her officially 6 months ago, but we were having issues for about a year. Her family actually sided with me when I left her, because I tried everything I could to make this work and she just didn't want to help out or stop with her antics. Her sister and I never flirted or did anything we weren't supposed to do until a month ago, so I'm not understanding how flirting with guys and sending them pics is anything like becoming best friends with a woman's sister because you are told you must. How will the ex feel? Probably confused and hurt by it and maybe mad, but she is in a relationship already and is happy and we are all happy for her. Their mother is the most judgmental person in the world and neither if them are close to her. As for my son, he just turned 2. Since you don't actually start understanding or remembering things until 3, it won't matter much if it is short lived. But really, it's a title change! My son has a great mother and I'm not trying to replace her, so to make things easier its as easy as don't call her aunt Emily. Just call her Emily. If her and I had kids they wouldn't be raised as brother/cousins, just brothers.. As for her being 20... Yes she is younger but very mature and driven in life. I'm not on here asking for advice on what to do when dating a 20 year old. FYI, we aren't just hanging out screwing either, we go out to dinner, we do other activities together. A select few people know what's going on. My parents and one of her really good friends. They all can understand how this happened and agree that the only issue is the potential messiness. My mom said, be sure to be careful and make sure if you publicly put this out there, we both understand the negativity we are going to hear and the risk of putting a friendship on the fritz. It is what it is

[vashti]

You risk putting a friendship on the fritz? What about what you are doing to your child's FAMILY?

Assuming this is not a troll post, I think both you and the stupid, selfish 20 year old you are banging are about the lowest of the low, and you should both be neutered.

And oddly, I don't care if you think I am rude.