Hot n cold

[elise2]

Hi everyone

I need some kind of advice. Here is the story, I will try to be short.
He is dirving me crazy. Why do men play hot and cold? Last week was the best one in my life. We spent a night together, it was passionate, we had sex for the first time, I've initiated it. Then he took me out to dinner, he introduced me to his best friend who joined us. When we got back home at his place, we were just cuddling no sex, no nothing. I mean I love to cuddle, but I am confused why he didn't want it anymore.

Later he started to saying to me how beautiful I am, how he adores me, he even said he loves me, wtf. I just smiled, he cought me there unprepared. I was not prepared with this change of the game, so I was confused and when I am confused I mostly shut down and I am quite. But I told him I like him so much back.

Next day he followed me to the airport, he was really nice. He gave me a lots of money to buy myself a new Iphone5 since mine got broken few days ago in order that we can stay in touch since he works in another city. I was shocked, again I was unprepared and I took it but I told him big no at start. So I came back home on saturday. I sent him few messages on his phone. No reply! Yesterday I texted him that I got my Iphone and gave him my new number, so that guy doesn't think I took the money and ran away lol. He didn't reply also. At first his messages were in a delay then he got them but not in the same order lol. I can see he is online on FB chat, but he completely ignores me there, when I logged in yesterday he went off the chat just when I started to write to him.

Now I am confused and sad. I am crazy, all I can think is why? why? why? I know its only 3 days, but what am I suposed to do? I will say to you what are my thoughts about this whole and can someone open my eyes, please? Is it wrong to text someone all the time when he doesn't respond? I want to ask him now if he got my new number in a funny way. I don't know what to do.

1st I think the reason he didn't want to have sex anymore was because he changed his game and saw that I am not some kind of a bimbo and that he wants to take it to the next level in the future but slowely of course. I mean what kind of a guy would give you 1000 dollars to just being able to hear from you.
2nd No, there is no other woman in his life, because no one would do this stuff to anyone and introduce me to his best friend. Cheaters hide thier evidences.
3rdly I might make some mistakes because I said I am switching off my old number because everyone on my job is molesting me and that I need peace in the next days that will come ahead. Maybe that is why he is giving me some space too. And I can tell you its not the first time he did this to me he is slow at replying messages. Why are men like this? I mean say something, text, make a bloody phone call or something it takes just 1 minute. I am not asking for much just few words that will make my day. So what am I suposed to do? Call him tomorrow? What if he doesn't reply? Text him some cute message? I don't know what is wrong with me. But I hate when someone I care for ignores me so much.

[AGuy101]

How was the sex? Fast? Long? Did he ask you how you like it in bed before it happened? I am asking because, depending on your answer, he might be new to dating or he might not be.

I don't have much background on this guy but if he said he "loved you" that fast then he doesn't value you or know what he's doing. Love is an extremely powerful emotion. It goes, in measure or degree, like: "like, really like, admire, love, etc."

And then this guy gives you money for a new phone? He sounds like a lonely person who needs something.

I don't have all the information but it sounds like this guy is a "second-hander." He has no self-esteem so he derives it from you second-hand. By that I mean: he is not dating you because he likes you, he is dating you for your sake. He lacks a self. Ask him: "What is your highest value?" -If you can- And if he says "you" or anything else but the word "myself" then he is a whore.

Life is the standard of value. Value means to act to gain and/or keep. Virtue is the process of that. If this guy does not value himself then he cannot value anything and he cannot say: "I love you" because he would have to say the "I."

If he is not living for his own sake then he is a zero. If I had a wife and I used up my entire fortune to save her life from cancer that would not be self-less. I value my wife more than the money. So if a man loves someone he is still being selfish; especially if he if spends his entire fortune because he cannot live without his wife. So he is doing it for him. Without his wife, he cannot go on.

You don't want a whore.

[elise2]

You are a great writer! You are completely right and I can understand what you mean.

He is not new to dating, he is 32 years old. He did everything he could to satisfy me. He was nice to me, but he was selfish also. Never mind, look I showed him I liked him, I sent him some cute text, he replied to me immediately next day when he saw me online, but nothing much, he says he is too busy and stressed on his job and that he works 24 hours per day last few days. So far I belive him, I will see, but I won't let him play me for a fool. I did everything I could to show him I like him and that I want to communicate with him and let him now I didn't use him because he is wealthy or something. Now I will back off and let him purse me if he feels the same. I hate playing games, but its how things go in life.

[bcgirl]

You don't know him. Perhaps he suffers from some sort of mental or emotional disorder

[elise2]

Maybe he is not the only one. Looks I'm the one too but I'm letting it go for some time. We will see

[Fruitsss]

Girl men can bring you to their best friends cause that friends know their ways and what they are doing. and sometimes the freind is the same cheater as him. so dont feel special or think that he is for shore single.

And if u are no bimbo why go to his place and have sex while u dont even know the dude and his intentions with u.
U are not even his girlfriend. thats the most sad part.
but jet you give and go to all the places u suppose not to go while dating. To avoid wrong messages about you towards him.

Sex should not be part of dating and getting to know someone.
Thats why God made it for marriage people!

Cause once u have sex, the guy can lose interest in you.
Cause he thinks i already saw everything of this girl. so she is not special.
And also when they chased u just for the sex.

So maybe he felt guilty for having sex with you cause he saw u was some kind of innocent or naive at the end.

[Fruitsss]

- Thats why God made it for MARRIED people!

[Fruitsss]

I don't have much background on this guy but if he said he "loved you" that fast then he doesn't value you or know what he's doing. Love is an extremely powerful emotion. It goes, in measure or degree, like: "like, really like, admire, love, etc."
.

LOve is not a emotion. a emotion is something that can change with time. like today u like her , tomorrow u dont feel that way anymore.
Love is something that can grow with time , so your emotions can develop into love.
Explaining love is like trying to look into the sun.
You cant explain it u can only tell how u can recognize it.

God is love, love comes from God. The bible tell what love is , how u can recognize it.

[AGuy101]

LOve is not a emotion. a emotion is something that can change with time. like today u like her , tomorrow u dont feel that way anymore.
Love is something that can grow with time , so your emotions can develop into love.
Explaining love is like trying to look into the sun.
You cant explain it u can only tell how u can recognize it.

God is love, love comes from God. The bible tell what love is , how u can recognize it.

You can measure love. But I am not going to explain epistemology in depth because it involves a lot of math. I don't know if your spamming or are actually religious; either way your responses are invalid. This woman is not looking for what you may call "intrinsically" good or bad. Please do not ruin ethics for those who do not study it.

Love is an emotion. An emotion is a response to values. When something happens, you feel a certain way. Emotions make life worth living. When you build something, you feel pride in achievement. If there were no emotions then there would be no reward for doing anything. I will define the emotion "love" for you. Love is the recognition of the virtues in another person: it is the spiritual response you pay someone. Just think of the word "respect." That is a form of love in one of its lower degrees. But I am not going any further with this.

[elise2]

Don't worry guys and first of all don't judge me with what I've done! Its all ok, I was just overreacting. I'm chaning the game. I don't play games anymore, not with this guy maybe I'm stupid for being limitless, but I know he cares. It's his fault, if he claims what he claims then why the hell should I play games, I mean if he likes me as he said he won't be bothered if I'm the one who is trying now for the first time in this "friendship". If I'll look misrable in anyway, annoying ot needy its on he consciousness, not mine. I wasn't the one that initiated all of this romance "crap", he did.