A serious relationship - no sex for the first 3 months?

[freethinker31]

Hello guys

Have you ever experienced a feeling when in a serious relationship that it meant not having any sexual desire for the other person? I mean the thought of having sex with that person didn't cross your mind because that's not what your after. We're talking about a 3 month time frame when you first met the person.

[Wakeup]

What you're describing is a platonic friendship. Most couples that are in a romantic relationship want to experience each other sexually. So, No! I've never experienced wanting to be platonic in a romantic union however; I would imagine that elderly couples who have been there and done that and their hormones have dwindled to ziltch would be experiencing what you're describing.

[dem862]

Some people need to develop deep feelings before they feel comfortable being sexual. Nothing wrong with that. Although I think it can make it difficult to form relationships in the traditional sense. Apparently it is quite normal to become sexual by the third date.

[searock]

3 months is a lot, with no type of sex (not even foreplay) whatsoever. I'd say one month is long enough to establish exclusivity and reciprocal care, assuming the two persons involved already know each other.

[freethinker31]

What you're describing is a platonic friendship. Most couples that are in a romantic relationship want to experience each other sexually. So, No! I've never experienced wanting to be platonic in a romantic union however; I would imagine that elderly couples who have been there and done that and their hormones have dwindled to ziltch would be experiencing what you're describing.

What I'm trying to describe is how a romantic relationship could somehow have a part-platonic friendship involved. It's very rare though that lovers in-love don't at once engage in sexual activities, thus, having a part-platonic friendship evolving into a romantic relationship come past the third month.

[freethinker31]

Some people need to develop deep feelings before they feel comfortable being sexual. Nothing wrong with that. Although I think it can make it difficult to form relationships in the traditional sense. Apparently it is quite normal to become sexual by the third date.

Yes, exactly. But in my opinion though, becoming sexual by the third date is too fast.. Just my opinion.

[freethinker31]

3 months is a lot, with no type of sex (not even foreplay) whatsoever. I'd say one month is long enough to establish exclusivity and reciprocal care, assuming the two persons involved already know each other.

Well that's the challenge right there

[Wakeup]

What I'm trying to describe is how a romantic relationship could somehow have a part-platonic friendship involved. It's very rare though that lovers in-love don't at once engage in sexual activities, thus, having a part-platonic friendship evolving into a romantic relationship come past the third month.

You said this:

Have you ever experienced a feeling when in a serious relationship that it meant not having any sexual desire for the other person?

When in a "serious" relationship I've waited to have sex for just over three months but during that time, I certainly HAD desire for him and we petted heavily. There was an emotional connection developing and we bonded platonically during the period of no intercourse.. however; as I said the desire was there.
You're example asked if there was NOT any sexual desire for the other person.

[freethinker31]

Well in my case, I only had sexual desire when that platonic friendship evolved into a romantic relationship. We all have different experiences when it comes to this topic. Thank you so much for sharing what happened to you and your boyfriend.

[dem862]

Yes, exactly. But in my opinion though, becoming sexual by the third date is too fast.. Just my opinion.

Well you may be a demisexual. You need to develop feelings before feeling sexual. Whereas, more typical people can experience sexual attraction without any feelings at all. Google demisexual. If this sounds like you, you could have a conversation by the third date explaining it will take you longer to become sexual. As an alternative, you could attempt to force yourself to be sexual for the sake of your partner and hope that feelings develop for you in time. If they never do, then you could end the relationship.

[freethinker31]

Well you may be a demisexual. You need to develop feelings before feeling sexual. Whereas, more typical people can experience sexual attraction without any feelings at all. Google demisexual. If this sounds like you, you could have a conversation by the third date explaining it will take you longer to become sexual. As an alternative, you could attempt to force yourself to be sexual for the sake of your partner and hope that feelings develop for you in time. If they never do, then you could end the relationship.

This is actually the first time that I've heard that term. Googled it already, and it all seems clear to me now. Thank you very much

[phantom694u]

Well, it's normal to not have sex after 3 months. You are building a serious relationship. But you must at least have the urge or desire. Not everyone is built to move fast. I have dated women for months before we have sex, simply because I wanted to get to know her more.... Then again, I just met a nice woman recently, and we had sex on our first date because it felt right. So it all depends on how comfortable you are. But keep in mind, if you don't even get horny thinking about your lady naked, then you are not really attracted to her in a romantic sense. You can be friends.

[freethinker31]

Well, it's normal to not have sex after 3 months. You are building a serious relationship. But you must at least have the urge or desire. Not everyone is built to move fast. I have dated women for months before we have sex, simply because I wanted to get to know her more.... Then again, I just met a nice woman recently, and we had sex on our first date because it felt right. So it all depends on how comfortable you are. But keep in mind, if you don't even get horny thinking about your lady naked, then you are not really attracted to her in a romantic sense. You can be friends.

Phew, thought there was something wrong with me haha. Ofcourse my urges will still be there but I'll just stick to being demisexual. Thanks for the advice!

[IndiReloaded]

Demisexual? LOL, there's a label for everything, isn't there?

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps he's a demi-f.u.c.k.wit?