Confused and insecure...

[bdub]

hi..

I've got a bit of a dilemma thats been dragging on for a while now. I'll start off with some background information.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now, shes 18 and im 22 now, so you do the maths. I was her first everything, and she has experienced everything with me. Now that she has started university she gets confused sometimes in what she wants. "What if..." She used to goto a girls catholic school so didnt have much interaction with guys. Now that she has other guys around her life i feel quite insecure as there has been incidents where she becomes friends with a guy and developes a attachment with them. This attachment leads to feelings and then confusion in what she wants. She tells me that whenever she gets close to a guy as friends sometimes she develops more feelings and she cant control how she feels.

She has never done anything physically unfaithful, but mentally yes. It's not the first time it has happened, and im beginning to wonder am i really the right guy for her or should i just let her go out and experience it for herself. But it hurts me too much to let go, and i cant bare her with someone else. She tells me these feelings blow over within a few days and she realises i'm the one she really wants. But if this is the case, then why does she develop feelings for other guys?

I fully understand that she was very young when she started dating me and i expected this to happen. But i never knew we would last this long and this is really troubling me. I dont know what to do anymore, one part of me wants me to let go, the other part wants me to hold on.. I'm afraid if i continue to let this relationship continue on i'll end up hurting more in the long run. She's my everything and i love her heaps.

Will she ever get over this stage of life without satisfying her curiousty?.. If we do break up i dont think i can be friends with her.. as i'll just feel too weird being yet so close but yet so far..

I feel so insecure about other guys around her now, im really lacking trust but i dont want to tell her that she shouldnt have friends as that is not how its ment to be. I respect the way she feels and i understand where she's coming from. But it hurts.

[sekhmet]

I can understand where your coming from, and yes it is part of insecurity, which I have myself. I think you should ask her do you want me to do something different? If she says she would change a lot about you then I don't think she really love you, but then again I'm probably wrong. If you truly think you'll be hurting in the long run, then... I would make her want me more. Do you spend a lot of time with her? Do you seem very commited and always around? If so then I would take some time and just try to not be around so much. Then again, I may be wrong about everything I've just written =-(

[indigosoul]

She has never done anything physically unfaithful, but mentally yes... She tells me these feelings blow over within a few days and she realises i'm the one she really wants. But if this is the case, then why does she develop feelings for other guys?

Because she's young and human. Sounds like she's not being completely honest w/you, or doesn't know how b/c she's so young. She probably DOES want to date others (it sounds like it). You know it: if you love something...

Regarding her feelings, you cannot hold someone responsible for impure thoughts, only acts of will.

[jay12]

I have to say that its unlikely that when your that young you will be with the person you're gonna be with forever....
She does probly need to experience things and especially at university it is pretty much encouraged.
You will be ok though man, whatever happens.
Good luck.

[mhussain]

love hurts..............like hell.

i seriously dont know what to say man. but yes......if u are always there for her and always around her....take some time away from her.

will it hurt if she deceides taht she wants to date others? YES
will it hurt more if she cheats ? HELL YES

decide which you want.

sorry mate for such a tough choice,......

and indigosoul is damn right,

"if u love some one, let them go......."

u can fill the rest urself/

Hussain