what do you think? confused...

[SkAkS]

Hello!

People think of me as that guy, to who girls go to get laid, and this is not a good thing, if you want a serious relationship. I somehow like that there are no obligations and everything, but i'm always the other guy. i'm always on the second place.

Wich wouldn't be bad, if i hadn't had feelings for this girl. we've known each other for quite a while and fooled arround a bit (she was single) but never had sex coz we really get along great and have a great friendship. i won't go into details how we understand each-other and that sleezy stuff... but it's all happening, and i'm ready to settle down.

and here's the problem. she just started going out again with a guy she had a very serious and f**ked up relationship with that lasted 7 years... and she still has feelings for the bastard.

that's why she doesn't want to get involved with me (she wants to, but wants to try to work it out with that other guy one more time...) and she tricked me! we went out, had fun, got to my place and she wanted to sleep over. i said yes, gave her a big t-shirt and offered her a bed (i have an empty bed in my room, my roommate went home for the weekend) but she wanted to be in the same bed with me. i didn't want to sleep with her, but... well, you know.

and now she's all worried about that guy finding out and i just became a mistake instead of a good friend with good potencial i was before. so she got me off her mind.

and the big question... shoud i fight for her? she's determined to try it one more time with that other guy, but the thing is i don't allow myself to be the second choice. i have enough of that with sex-buddys who have serious boyfriends and I absolutely don't want it with my future girlfriend, whoever she will be.

just a note... i've never cheated on a girl in my life, and don't intend to start anytime soon. i'm just never in a relationship coz i don't get along with most girl as well as i would like to. high standards i think...

so, what do you think? is there anything i could do after she tricked me? i know i should have said no but... i didn't (i really like her and we were a little drunk)

[girlygirl2005]

She doesn't sound nice. I think women can be users as well and she could be one of them. She got what was there for her, and it was easy for her to get it because she does fancy you, but that is it. She doesn't want a serious relationship with you. She is having that with the other guy. Love is blind, I think it is true. You might think he is a bastard but she thinks he is the right one for now. I think you shouldn't fight for her as she is lost, confused and probably not as ready to settle down as you are. And if she has cheated on her current boyfriend she could do it to you. I think you should wait for the right person to come along. You WILL know when it is her and it isn't this girl.

[ALovelyLady86]

I disagree....
Girls are extremely emotional creatures for the most part. When shes been with this one guy for over 7 years, and the potential is still there for a relationship with them, she probably feels obligated to stay around and try to make it work. I know that when I was with Chris we used to make these promises that if anything bad happened we would stick through it, when a lot of times with certain things you just shouldnt. When it comes to you and this girl, shes probably quite attracted to you, but I doubt there is any love there between you two since it seems its all about the attraction. I hate to say it but when shes laying in the bed with you, shes most likely thinking about this other guy she was with for 7 years. What shes doing with you is using you as a way to get over this other dude.
What you need to do is wait for someone who isnt taken, someone who you dont have to get drunk to enjoy, stop screwing all your friends, and wait for someone who you make good conversation with. There is too much involved with this chick.

[Only-virgins]

Girls are extremely emotional creatures for the most part. When shes been with this one guy for over 7 years, and the potential is still there for a relationship with them, she probably feels obligated to stay around and try to make it work.

Doesn't mean that there is love there does it? I don't think so. A girl who is with someone for say 4-5 years and things are going really well in the relationship but then a person she loves comes along....would she break it for him?.......I am depending on it.

[ALovelyLady86]

Girls always feel...obligated to keep the rediculous promises they make with their exes in hopes of keeping the love alive... trust me I've been there. Its one of those things that helps the girl hold on to what they dont really have, but she wishes they still did.

I think hes a rebound to this chick..I really do (with the information provided)

[Only-virgins]

Girls always feel...obligated to keep the rediculous promises they make with their exes in hopes of keeping the love alive... trust me I've been there. Its one of those things that helps the girl hold on to what they dont really have, but she wishes they still did.

I think I agree as long as we assume there was love there in the first place.

[ALovelyLady86]

Ya I'm assuimg if they were together that long there must have been some amount of love... but then again I dont know if I agree with you on what love is? We seem to have different opinions on that you know?

[Only-virgins]

Ya I'm assuimg if they were together that long there must have been some amount of love... but then again I dont know if I agree with you on what love is? We seem to have different opinions on that you know?

yes. I know. It works if we both assume both our types of love are there. I dont want to argue with you about what love is because that is how I made half the enemies on here lol.

__________________

[ALovelyLady86]

Nah I'm not your enemy... nor do I want to argue with ya

[LightOn]

Hello!

People think of me as that guy, to who girls go to get laid, and this is not a good thing, if you want a serious relationship. I somehow like that there are no obligations and everything, but i'm always the other guy. i'm always on the second place.

Wich wouldn't be bad, if i hadn't had feelings for this girl. we've known each other for quite a while and fooled arround a bit (she was single) but never had sex coz we really get along great and have a great friendship. i won't go into details how we understand each-other and that sleezy stuff... but it's all happening, and i'm ready to settle down.

and here's the problem. she just started going out again with a guy she had a very serious and f**ked up relationship with that lasted 7 years... and she still has feelings for the bastard.

that's why she doesn't want to get involved with me (she wants to, but wants to try to work it out with that other guy one more time...) and she tricked me! we went out, had fun, got to my place and she wanted to sleep over. i said yes, gave her a big t-shirt and offered her a bed (i have an empty bed in my room, my roommate went home for the weekend) but she wanted to be in the same bed with me. i didn't want to sleep with her, but... well, you know.

and now she's all worried about that guy finding out and i just became a mistake instead of a good friend with good potencial i was before. so she got me off her mind.

and the big question... shoud i fight for her? she's determined to try it one more time with that other guy, but the thing is i don't allow myself to be the second choice. i have enough of that with sex-buddys who have serious boyfriends and I absolutely don't want it with my future girlfriend, whoever she will be.

just a note... i've never cheated on a girl in my life, and don't intend to start anytime soon. i'm just never in a relationship coz i don't get along with most girl as well as i would like to. high standards i think...

so, what do you think? is there anything i could do after she tricked me? i know i should have said no but... i didn't (i really like her and we were a little drunk)

OUCH!

She is a little self centerd is she not? More concerned about him finding out she slept with you than she is him doing his thing on his own time raises that flag.

Yeah dude I would have to back up what you say about being second choice, never ever settle for that horseshit. If she comes back for seconds, give her the old up the butt how ya like me now move. Not for pleasure, but for the lesson.

[SkAkS]

hm...

i've never felt this way... wanting to settle down?! WTF?! no way!
And now that i do... well you know the story.

I guess i won't sleep with her again, not until she finishes with this dude. you're all saying i should back off, but it's kind of hard, you know...

at least i don't want to make a decision not to have anything with her ever.
or should i?

[ALovelyLady86]

We know its hard... but when it gets hard go to the bathroom and take care of it! lol

[SkAkS]

hm... it's not about sex. i can get that, but i can't get it with her! well, i don't even want only sex but a relationship. it is hard to let go the thought of being with her.

i know it's not really fair, but i've decided to get a girlfirend for a serious relationship to forget her. it's the best thing i could do right now i think, and the girl really wants to be with me anyway, so...

[ALovelyLady86]

Wow that was a stupid idea.. whats wrong with being single? Not only that but now youve given the girl you did want to be with the idea that you didnt...

[SkAkS]

well... the only thing i think wouldn't be good is that it wouldn't be fair to that other girl.

the first one (the one) knows i want to be with her... we talked it through many times.