Words of Wisdom

[IndiReloaded]

I was searching for an old post and came across some oldie but goodies. Feel free to add.

@ Trolls - Stay the hell out. Some of these quotes are from those who aren't just gone, but passed on.

[IndiReloaded]

For Fras, and others.

RIP Hayward, on Parenting and Life:

Think of parenting as an interlude, and NOT a lifetime commitment. Divide your child's life into six-year segments: zero to six; six to 12; 12 to 18. During each six-year period, your child is an entirely different creature having entirely different needs who makes entirely demands on your lives. Then is the child is gone. Consider how swiftly six years pass, and the fact that when your child is 18 and almost ready to go out on his or her own, you'll be, more or less, 38 or 40 years old; in the very prime of your life with a much greater knowledge of who you are and what you want; for yourself and from each other. And more able to accomplish all of it for yourselves. Thinking of your major parenting responsibilities as being a matter of setting aside some of your personal preferences for three six-year periods of life rather than 18 or 20 years makes it easier to get your mind around parenting, and the burdens of it a little easier to carry. Just a guess, but I'd almost be willing to bet you're both having some second thoughts about parenting and all the destructive behaviors are just how that ambivalence is expressing itself. Lighten THAT load, and you might find ways to tighten your relationship.

Parenting is a life-long commitment, yes. But too often, too many, I believe, over-emphasize that fact to their own detriment. The fact is, the obligations of parenting become much easier to undergo with their doing, and the impacts they have on your personal life diminish rapidly with the passsage of time. Your eight-month old child needs you at his or her beck and call. Your 16 year-old child wants as little to do with you as possible. The truth is, they grow up before you realize they have. One day, you're giggling over some toddler faux pas they committed; the next, you're cleaning out their old toys, turning their old bedroom into a study, wondering where all the time went to; and whether they'll write you a letter this month. Or maybe, even, call to say hello. The truth is also that, at the beginning, you might wonder what on earth have you done and how will you ever get through it. After they've gone, you'll find yourself wishing they could've needed you just a little bit longer than they did.

[searock]

when your child is 18 and almost ready to go out on his or her own, you'll be, more or less, 38 or 40 years old

Most people don't have kids that early... but nice article.

[sadie_genie]

Good post, Indie!

[IndiReloaded]

Add something! Do a keyword search.

[vashti]

I can't thank your post, but that was one of whaywardj's better posts.

[IndiReloaded]

When I'm bored, I'll go find some from Bluevette and Cybog.