60 day he-tox

[haxan]

So tell me: do you know how I can learn to be happy with settling for less?

I don't know you vash, but sense you bring a lot to the table. So the thing is, you'll never settle for less and don't deserve it. If someone that I was into wasn't all in with me, as soon as I got that vibe I would be out the door forever. Too many single, hot, professional women out there to waste my time with someone who gives half a shit, or just doesn't want me to have sex with anyone else.

Screw that

[vashti]

Attitude has a lot to do with being okay with having a lover without commitment…

I don't think I am of the right disposition for this type of arrangement, at least not with someone I care for.

I, personally, tend to do better when I focus on the bad rather than the good and get a little anger going and you have every right to be furious with him at this point.

there are moments of weakness when I really want to convince myself that I should stay and just be happy with the emotional scraps he was giving me

I'm trying to stay focused on anger (rather than hurt). I am home with my daughter, who is doing 72 hours of continuous EEG monitoring this weekend. She won't even leave the house because her head is full of electrodes and wires, and wrapped with gauze. She looks like she did after her brain surgery. It's fairly awful to see your kid looking this way, and I started out the day being angry that I am having to handle the emotional toll of this alone, but by the end of the day, it just hurts. I know if I called and told Ivan what is going on, he would come and sit with us, and of course, it's so tempting.

Today was the first of three days off work for me, and I HATE having all this time on my hands. I can't wait for Monday.

Perhaps sub-consciously, you're not ready to commit to anyone yourself, hence why you find him so hard to disengage from.

Hmm.... I am trying not to immediately discount this thought, but I don't know. I prefer the security that comes with a stable relationship... it makes me think I have tolerated too much nonsense from this man in order to have some level of security, particularly since there are so many other areas of my life for which I have absolutely NO control.

I don't know you vash, but sense you bring a lot to the table.

Thanks. Most of the time, I actually believe I do, even though it probably isn't apparent in this thread. lol

[IndiReloaded]

Vash, he's inconsiderate of your needs. That kind of behaviour may fly in our early 20s, when we are still learning how to interact with others, but a man his age should know better. Many do. Let him be someone else's project, you've done your time.

[Wakeup]

I don't think I am of the right disposition for this type of arrangement, at least not with someone I care for.

Then you have your answer to: "There's no sense being unhappy when you're with him AND when you're not." Now comes the hard work and sticking to it to get you past your longing for him... because there's no sense being unhappy when he's with you and when he's not. Am I right in assuming that he sees other women as well as you?

[vashti]

Am I right in assuming that he sees other women as well as you?

I don't know. He says he doesn't, but he's a liar, and he clearly wants to retain this option.

You know, I feel I should clarify (with all this talk of commitment) that I am not asking for much, really. I do not want to marry again, and I won't live(unmarried) with a man while my children are at home. When I think of how little I am really asking for, I just get angry.

[Call Me Maybe]

just remember that God never gives us more than we can handle. However, you need to rely on God for your strength instead of trying to handle everything on your own

[vashti]

just remember that God never gives us more than we can handle. However, you need to rely on God for your strength instead of trying to handle everything on your own

No offense, but STFU. When I die, I plan to kick god squarely in the balls as hard as I can on my daughter's behalf.

[Call Me Maybe]

how sad to hear

[vashti]

If God never gives us more than we can handle, then explain suicide.

[IndiReloaded]

how sad to hear

Call Me - Not everyone takes comfort in the idea of a God. Many view this attitude as a foisting off of personal responsibility to a non-entity. If the idea of God brings you comfort, good for you. But respect Vash's POV that it does not.

Try something pragmatic. Or find another thread.

Also, by way of gentle warning, and I mean this in the nicest way: if you continue to post suggestions people find comfort in religion, you will find it very hard going on this forum. Thanks.

[Call Me Maybe]

If God never gives us more than we can handle, then explain suicide.

what is there to explain? Some people would rather kill themselves instead of dealing with a tough situation

[IndiReloaded]

Someone resurrected this thread and I found this old post. For you, Vash:

http://www.loveforum.net/threads/58122-great-Break-Up-Quotes?p=826363#post826363

[Call Me Maybe]

Indi, I understand not everyone shares my religious beliefs but I wouldn't be honest with myself if I was afraid or ashamed to mention God. I don't care if that makes my experience here more difficult. Also, if I recall correctly, Vashti believes in God unless she changed her mind. Just b/c my post doesn't meet your criteria doesn't mean it's not practical advice

[IndiReloaded]

This isn't about you, and Vash posted already her thoughts clearly about this. The idea of God, in this situation doesn't bring her comfort.

Now **** off with your religious-based 'help'. You tried, it was rejected. Next.

[Call Me Maybe]

^^^ the hubris of the atheist. Vashti, if this is who you look to for help instead of God, then I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your endeavors