guys advice?? please !!

[gbasil6]

okay, so im in a lil situation i would like some advice pleace
im a 21 year old girl and this guy im talking to is 27

we met at our workplace, i work at a retail store in the mall and he worked in construction while renovations were going on during the mall.
he initially started facebook messaging me, for about a month, then we hung out. we hung out probably about six/seven times and i never kissed him. i had a rough past with my ex so it was hard for me to get back in a relationship. so this new guy, ill call him "J", waited every time and then he got fed up with the waiting and eventually told me that he wanted to stop talking to me, but then didnt because he still wanted the friendship with me. so i felt in my head...when am i going to be ready? so i slept over again, and stayed the whole next day. so later that day on tuesday he just went for it, kissed me, and we had sex. i felt comfortable, no pressure. i was comfortable because i do really like him, and after all the times i turned my head away from him, i knew this time was good. he walked me out to my car that night because i had class at my college and we kissed on the lips, like a peck.

i made him something about two days b4 we had sex and i left it in my car 2 give it to him. it was a card i made when i was drinking and it had cute stuff written in it and a little dinosaur i bought from a craft store i glued on top. so i gave it to him after he walked me out to my car. he didnt text me at all the next day, so i texted him and he told me "iyou gave me an i love you card after havin sex once, lol"
i said "check that card again bcuz nowhere does it say i love you. it was supposed to be fun and games, and i told you i was drinking when i made that. chill dude, lol"
his reply was "whoa"

the next day he texted me saying, like he teases me saying" im spending time with my dinosaur card" and he texted me pretty much the whole day. so are we better now??

he knows how i feel when i told him that i dont just have sex with a guy just to have sex. i need to know hes my boyfriend and then ill do stuff. i told him this stuff when we hung out about a month ago. he also knows that i like him.
also, just to add, when i used to sleep over his place (when i wasnt ready to do anything sexual with him, we would just spoon the whole night)

any advice on whats going on thru his head before i become blunt and ask him myself on where we stand?
is he looking for a girl?

**one more thing to add LOL, about a month ago, when he started to get upset about how he thought i was playing games with him (as in, took me three months just to kiss him) he texted me saying "you wanna be made someones priority and trusted without someone knowing you but you dont wanna do the same for someone else, ex. how you dont feel comfortable around me" - so by something like that, he was interested?

-please, any advice, thanks guys, i appreciate this.

[pcmaster]

Just openly say him what you feel about him. If he waited for so long than that means he is serious about you and wont change his mind every minute. We guys like to be sure too. So listen to your heart and say what you want because life is too short not to say words like I like you and I love you.

[Maple1714]

Yes, he likes you. Don't think so much about the whole cars situation...it's over and t wasn't anything anyway. Seems to me he likes you a lot.

[gbasil6]

Thanks a lot !

[gbasil6]

thank you !

[smackie9]

Communication is key. You need to let HIM know where you stand.

[gbasil6]

thanks a lot !

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I'd bet money this guy doesn't want to be your boyfriend.

[Maple1714]

I'd bet money this guy doesn't want to be your boyfriend.

Don't be so negative.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

How many 27 year olds want to seriously date a 21 year old?

Keep her around to **** because she's younger, firmer, tighter, and much easier to keep happy? Absolutely. Maybe I'm just projecting, but typically a 27 year old will be at a different stage than a 21 year old, but that won't stop a 21 year old from thinking they're just "mature". You also have to look at his reactions to her the next day. Not so tender if you ask me.

I could certainly be wrong.

[Maple1714]

How many 27 year olds want to seriously date a 21 year old?

Keep her around to **** because she's younger, firmer, tighter, and much easier to keep happy? Absolutely. Maybe I'm just projecting, but typically a 27 year old will be at a different stage than a 21 year old, but that won't stop a 21 year old from thinking they're just "mature". You also have to look at his reactions to her the next day. Not so tender if you ask me.

I could certainly be wrong.

Hmmmm...I think it would be harder to keep a 21 year old happy. I hope you are wrong for her sake. You are right though, his comment to her the next day wasn't very tender. Looking back most guys that really like a girl text/call right away after they have sex and typ. are very sweet. The less serious ones tend to make light of the sex.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's easier to do nice things, keep quiet/be vague and let a 21 year old think what they want to think, thus keeping them happy. Older women are typically more easygoing, but they're also more assertive and have better boundaries..usually gained from experiences at or around age 21.

I think 27 and 21 is a significant age gap, and what I really meant is that it is very easy for a 27 year old to control/manipulate a 21 year old. A 6 year age gap is not that big once the younger person is in their late 20's-30's, but the experience gap between a 27 and 21 year old is very significant. I've experienced it on both ends. I've seen it play out with others many times.

Like I said, I could be wrong, but I'm just playing the numbers on this one.

[smackie9]

That's a load. I'm 6 years older than my husband, we met when he was 20. It depends on the person and how they handle the situation. I laid out my expectations very early in the relationship, and gave him the opportunity to walk away if it wasn't where he wanted to be.

That's why I stress that she needs to communicate with him where she stands in all this.

[smackie9]

i made him something about two days b4 we had sex and i left it in my car 2 give it to him. it was a card i made when i was drinking and it had cute stuff written in it and a little dinosaur i bought from a craft store i glued on top..

Girl you are not 12 years old. Backup is right in this case....this childish behavior makes it a significant age gap. If you want to be successful with this guy, start acting like a mature woman or you will be not be taken seriously.....he's gonna jump ship when you start to get too serious with him.

[Maple1714]

That's a load. I'm 6 years older than my husband, we met when he was 20. It depends on the person and how they handle the situation. I laid out my expectations very early in the relationship, and gave him the opportunity to walk away if it wasn't where he wanted to be.

That's why I stress that she needs to communicate with him where she stands in all this.

I am 6 years older than my partner as well....he was 22 when we first got together...and I was 27...