What to do?

[Bruiser1h]

I have been in a somewhat "happy" relationship for over a year now, and everything seemed to be going great, but I have come to a predicament, I have no idea what to do anymore...

At first everything seemed fine, I was happy, everything was new, she loved me, I loved her, we both enjoyed everything, but recently, everything has been the opposite, I have become constantly stressed, upset, depressed, and just generally worried all the time now.
Let me explain why, basicly, my girlfriend has a few mental issues, such as anxiety, depression, e.c.t. and they do bring me down too, along with her bipolar.
I am very supportive to her, I do everything I can to try and help, I moved my college to be at the same as hers, I sneak out on weeknights, I would do anything for her, but I am at the stage in which it is getting hard.
I have secluded myself from my friends, I no longer talk to any of them, and I don't see them, I spend all my time with (Lets just say "Lizzi", so I don't always type girlfriend) Lizzi. I honestly would do anything for her, unfortunatly my mother thinks that I am too over indulged with her, and I should be careful and tries constantly to break us up, so Lizzi is now no longer welcome in my house anymore, which just complicated the situation futher.
I have also had troubles of my own, I moved to my fathers, but he was abusive, and I moved out, no longer speaking to him anymore.

The thing is, I have cut myself off from everyone, I have ended up just soley focused on Lizzi, and the thing is, I am just too overwhelmed now, I can't take the fact she wants to see me 24/7 all the time, I will have just left, and she will message me saying she misses me.

She is really nice to me, she really tries, she gives me everything, love, attention, pressents. I even gave her my first sexual experience, becuase I thought she would be the one.

Right now, I just can't find a way to make this work, I can't take her being depressed all the time, having her need me all the time, I can't take being the one keeping her from doing something stupid like cutting herself. Becuase I'm the only one that makes her feel safe, without me she flips out, she hurts herself, and I feel if I were to ever one day just finaly say " Well look, I don't think I can keep on with her" That she might finaly top herself.

I am at a loose end;
I want to be with her, because I truely love her, I don't want to be alone, she stops me from feeling depressed, she supports me and I stop her from hurting herself.
But I can't take that if I leave her she will top herself.

I want to leave her becuase she makes me constantly depressed, I am in no contact with anyone anymore, my parents wont get on with her, I can't take her being so demanding, so fragile, I can't take the fact that she is so dependant on me, and that this is how it will be for the rest of my life if I chose to stay with her...

What do I do????

[RipVanWinkleX]

First off, I am not going to lie. This will not be easy. But if you want to make things work, you and her will have lots of work to do. More so on your shoulders right now.

You are right that she is strangling you and I understand that you do not want to make her feel that because you fear she will take it the wrong way. But you have to tell her to back down a bit and give you room. What she needs is something else. What else does she do? Does she have friends or family to help support her?

Does she see a doctor or take medication? If not I suggest you help her get help. This will not only help her but you as well. I been though something like this as well, doctors can help. Always have a upbeat attitude around her, even if you are depressed. If she see you being depressed, it will make her feel that it's her fault.

Don't worry about your mother. She has no say in it. This is about you and her.

I have been on Lizzi's side before a long time ago when I was in high-school. It sucks, trust me. It's like a cycle that keeps on going. At least she has someone to cling to... though, to much clinging will certainly drag you down as well. Like I said, get her help and friends. Get her to believe in her self. Once you do that some of the burden will be taken off you.

... that's my opinion anyway lol

[Bruiser1h]

I want to tell her, but I have mentioned things in the past, like " I need a little bit of space " And she would completly take it the wrong way. She doesn't have much family she lives with her mum, when she was younger, her dad used to try and kill her and her mum, so her mum isn't very supportive, she hasn't many friends, but recently, they seemed to have abandoned her too...
We've tried medication, but it doesn't seem to work, in fact it makes things worse. As for keeping it all upbeat, I find it hard, I have had the worst year of my life, but I also suffer from depression too, but I worry that she does think it's her fault...

I know, I try not to listen, but it does get to me and I do wonder sometimes if I should stay with her, whether it is worth it, But I know I love her, and she is right for me, and I am everything to her, but recently it's been hard to think of the latter becuase of all these things pilling up...

[RipVanWinkleX]

Ok, you have tried medication. Even if they don't work you have to keep on trying to see if another does. What about a psychiatrist?

[Bruiser1h]

She sees a councillor.

[RipVanWinkleX]

Do you also see the counselor with her? Because it maybe better to try to see a psychiatrist and not a counselor.