Urgent: Wrong to be in this relationship?

[lbnine]

Is it wrong to be in a new realtionship, to want to stay with a person even though they know you still feel pain and still have feelings about an ex?

I have been trying to move forward for myself, for my new girlfriend but even after 8 months I still feel pain and now it has caused us to break up. Part of me knows it's best to let her be free to move on. Maybes for selfish reasons another part of me wants us to stay together, I can see it is hard for us to break contact and switch off our feelings now, we do really care for each other. I just don't want more regrets, they already hampered this relationship when we were together I don't want them to stop me from doing the right thing now.

Thanks,
lb

[TheSaint]

Hardly urgent bro.

[Cerby]

You shouldn't be with a new person if you still HAVE feelings for an ex. Period.

[lbnine]

Sorry I was in a rush to go to work when I wrote this, left out the the part that makes it urgent; we had just broke up that night and she told me she is flying back to her home country in a week. I was fighting the urge to just ask her to stay.

Moments of weakness when I miss my ex, brings back all the pain of the break up, self doubt and anxiety of the future. I dig myself into a pit and then of course it spills over into my new realtionship. Sometimes it's hard to say If I still love her but there's definitely something holding me back from moving on. Talking about it helps but the problem is my new girlfriend is one of the only people I can open up too. And that isn't fair on her. So I guess it's best to let her move on, just scared. Just like my ex she is going to move to the other side of the world and I'll have no way or at least really difficult to contact her.

lb

[Wakeup]

How long ago did you break up with this other woman? How long have you been harboring this torch for her is the actual question.

[bcgirl]

Don't jump into a new relationship if you haven't had proper time to heal from the old relationship!!

[lbnine]

It's been about 8 months since I broke up. After 2 month I was feeling much better, met this new girl. About 2 months after that old feelings resurfaced. Now we have been in a long distance for 2 months which I think has put extra strain on us, if we were together it may be easier for me to move on, but I know I've had a long time.

lb

[Wakeup]

Any reason why you can't be alone with yourself to process this breakup? You sound like you can't function unless you have some woman to lean on. Any truth to that, lbnine?

[lbnine]

Yeah there is, especially since I've just moved to another country and she was a great support. I just wanted to be able to giver her my best, and I thought I was being proactive so to speak.

Seems this is the right way,
lb