Does she still want me????

[TrueLove]

Ok where do I start, I recently broke up from my girlfriend two months yesterday. it was a very tight relationship as we were friends before we got together. we were already very close 2 years before getting together.
we were together a year & a half. Now we have finished due to a number of things & I think both of our trust for each other has gone. I cheated when we were going through a bad time, but when I cheated I realised how deep my feelings were towards my girlfriend.
she went on a date while we were on a break, and the week we broke up she straight away starts seeing some else, she let him stay at her house which is very unlike her. she says nothing happened & I half believe her I don’t think they had sex but something went on.
Basically I said it cant be real love if your seeing someone else already & I cant be your friend cause there too much hurt involved. the guy she is seeing has only jus himself split from a 5 year relationship.
the 1st few weeks of the the break up we were on the phone arguing she still says she loves me but is scared I would hurt her, she said when she thinks about me she wants to think about me with a smile on her face & not be angry with me. she said she lost trust cause ive told lies.
After I accepted we're not getting back together I say no contact then cause it jus hurts way too much. she agreed, a week later she phones crying down the phone saying she crumbling without me & its only now she’s realising ive gone, we talk for a couple of hours about how we miss each other & how we want to see each other etc. so she asked me can she cum 2 a club with me or meet up after it, I said maybe deep down I meant yes.
so the next day I TX her she says she wont be coming 2nite she’s on her period. so Im thinking wait a minute it was you saying u wanna cum & see me.
the next day we end up on the phone, I try & get her back but she just keeps saying the trust has gone, & it wont work so we end up arguing and saying nasty things to each other.
the next day I phone & apologise & said Im ready to be your friend I care too much about you. so she eventually agrees.
The next day I tx saying Im really down Im at my lowest point can u come & see me at 1st she hesitated then agreed. When she got to my house we were jus talking I tried to kiss her at first she said no then she just couldn’t help herself & responded back, we end up getting to the point we're we r both naked jus underwear on ready to have sex, then she says do you love me? I said yes, why? She said cause I get the feeling your using me I said you know what if you don’t wanna do it don’t do it. so she said ok lets not do it.
the night goes on I tell her I cant be your friend cause the moment you mention your other guy my feelings change & I start to dislike you. we both come to tears, I say shall I phone you a taxi she yes I phone the taxi then 2 minutes later she says do you want me to stay, I hesitate & jus said yes ok but this is the last night together, so after this no contact for at least 6 month give us time to get over it. she agrees but only to 3 months without contact. I said ok. the morning comes we say our goodbyes she leaves.
2 weeks later at 3 in the morning she calls me drunk, I say you cant keep doing this you know she said ill try, I asked how she was, she says fine I say ok Im going see ya & put the phone down. couple of days later I TX her saying ive made my mind up I don’t want you in my life anymore I no longer see you as my friend I can only see you as my ex & that seeing my guy so quick after we finished proved it isn’t real love.
But now I jus cant seem to get her out of my head. How long do you think it will fully take for me to get over this girl??? she still says she hopes we get back 2gether in the future, but I cant cling onto that incase it doesn’t happen. ill be hurt if she’s slept with anyone else & tells me she wants me back, I just want to be ok can you please give me sum advice. Thanks

[TrueLove]

is no one going 2 help me???

[ghenzmitz]

Ok where do I start, I recently broke up from my girlfriend two months yesterday. it was a very tight relationship as we were friends before we got together. we were already very close 2 years before getting together.
we were together a year & a half. Now we have finished due to a number of things & I think both of our trust for each other has gone. I cheated when we were going through a bad time, but when I cheated I realised how deep my feelings were towards my girlfriend.
she went on a date while we were on a break, and the week we broke up she straight away starts seeing some else, she let him stay at her house which is very unlike her. she says nothing happened & I half believe her I don’t think they had sex but something went on.
Basically I said it cant be real love if your seeing someone else already & I cant be your friend cause there too much hurt involved. the guy she is seeing has only jus himself split from a 5 year relationship.
the 1st few weeks of the the break up we were on the phone arguing she still says she loves me but is scared I would hurt her, she said when she thinks about me she wants to think about me with a smile on her face & not be angry with me. she said she lost trust cause ive told lies.
After I accepted we're not getting back together I say no contact then cause it jus hurts way too much. she agreed, a week later she phones crying down the phone saying she crumbling without me & its only now she’s realising ive gone, we talk for a couple of hours about how we miss each other & how we want to see each other etc. so she asked me can she cum 2 a club with me or meet up after it, I said maybe deep down I meant yes.
so the next day I TX her she says she wont be coming 2nite she’s on her period. so Im thinking wait a minute it was you saying u wanna cum & see me.
the next day we end up on the phone, I try & get her back but she just keeps saying the trust has gone, & it wont work so we end up arguing and saying nasty things to each other.
the next day I phone & apologise & said Im ready to be your friend I care too much about you. so she eventually agrees.
The next day I tx saying Im really down Im at my lowest point can u come & see me at 1st she hesitated then agreed. When she got to my house we were jus talking I tried to kiss her at first she said no then she just couldn’t help herself & responded back, we end up getting to the point we're we r both naked jus underwear on ready to have sex, then she says do you love me? I said yes, why? She said cause I get the feeling your using me I said you know what if you don’t wanna do it don’t do it. so she said ok lets not do it.
the night goes on I tell her I cant be your friend cause the moment you mention your other guy my feelings change & I start to dislike you. we both come to tears, I say shall I phone you a taxi she yes I phone the taxi then 2 minutes later she says do you want me to stay, I hesitate & jus said yes ok but this is the last night together, so after this no contact for at least 6 month give us time to get over it. she agrees but only to 3 months without contact. I said ok. the morning comes we say our goodbyes she leaves.
2 weeks later at 3 in the morning she calls me drunk, I say you cant keep doing this you know she said ill try, I asked how she was, she says fine I say ok Im going see ya & put the phone down. couple of days later I TX her saying ive made my mind up I don’t want you in my life anymore I no longer see you as my friend I can only see you as my ex & that seeing my guy so quick after we finished proved it isn’t real love.
But now I jus cant seem to get her out of my head. How long do you think it will fully take for me to get over this girl??? she still says she hopes we get back 2gether in the future, but I cant cling onto that incase it doesn’t happen. ill be hurt if she’s slept with anyone else & tells me she wants me back, I just want to be ok can you please give me sum advice. Thanks

ok ok...i'm here to help you dude....I'LL START THE WHOLE THING WITH ASKING.....DO YOU STILL LOVE HER...AS HER? NOT BECOZ SHE SLEPT WITH ANYONE?


WELL IF DONT LOVE HER....then, forget her...and leave her along..continue the no contact stuff..

WELL IF YOU DO LOVE HER...i think, it's very obvius...that you really love her....because you're hurt if yiou hear things about her like sleeping with other guy...etc....but considering the fact, that you still have feelings for her...then, i suggest, you should go back to her...you're so pessimistic dude. you can't really go on with your life if you have that attitude. Getting over it will not work for you because the girl still love you and you still love her(ADMIT IT) don't try to deny the question ok? you've got nothing on your head but hurting yourself, why don't you go back to her. Things will work out dude. Just realize how much you love her and how much she loves you. Anyone is not perfect, so you did commit mistakes because you've cheated on her. But, you can change for your relationship. You must go on with her dude. That's my only suggestion. Well, that is if you still love her...Don't ever think of malice about her sleeping with another guy...As long as you know you love her, then rebound....FIGHT FOR YOUR FEELINGS...NOT FOR YOUR HURTS....YOUR HURTS OVERPOWERED YOUR MIND...DON'T USE THE HURTS, USE THE WORD LOVE IN YOUR HEART.

[TrueLove]

I know i still love her & i know she still loves me, im jus not sure if its in the same way anymore, but i think it will be tho. but ive cheated & she still doesnt know & im scared if i get back with her in da future that could ruin it & if i tell her the truth its just more lies to her ears & less trust. i know for a fact her feelins for me are very strong but i did treat her bad we didnt really do anythin 2gether as go out places etc i was too busy with my career & she became jealous, i told her i felt i needed to be single cause i was gonna cheat before i cheated. but thats when the relationship went from bad to worse...

But thanks for the advice mate

[stonesnbones]

If you initiated the breakup, then in my opinion its you that has to be the one to ask if you wantto get back together with her.

And you shouldnt worry about the past if you guys get back together. THe past is the past. WHo cares if there was cheating or bad times. What you should worry about is if you have solved those issues NOW before you decide if you her back (dont cheat anymore, and try to find time for her instead of work all the time). If you have then thats good. A new relationship should always be about the now and the future and never the past and that is something she should understand too.

[TrueLove]

i know but i think ive lost my chance to get her back now!!! but at the same time if she said i want you back right now i dont know what i would say, thats what i cant understand if i really wanted her back wouldnt i already know my answer???

[stonesnbones]

Thats where NC comes into play, it makes u heal and feel more indifferent to her. It will happen.

In my opinion, if you dont know if you want her back, then you didnt love her. BUT, if you dont know the answer because you arent sure if shes changed from when you last knew her, then I would say, "Llets talk about it over dinner."

YOu may also not know the answer because you know you havent solved all those issues that tore u up. DOnt even bother asking her if you know you havent solved the issue because it will lead you to another breakup. But if you know you can compromise somehow, she may be happy with that.

Im really sorry if these answers seem vague. Im a dumpee, not a dumper like you, so I dunno how your end of a stick feels like.

[kiwichen]

I used to be a dumpee,but now i'm a dumper like u.
my love story is more painful and scared than urs ,i was hurted so badly at the first ,what i did is crying crying from the day time to night time .i think all my tear was out after that dumping period. anyway,now i went to a new city and got a new job ,i found it's not so bad without him .everything goes well .and the very important thing is :i did jump and escape from his love cage .i'm not his doll any more.

[stardust]

its funny that feeling. your clinging on yet if she asked you back out you would hesitate. Thats because the people we love can hurt us so much. Me and my ex couldnt stay friends because i couldnt stand him beingwith new ppl. it made me upset and dislike him so i realsied it was better not to contact him. Although i miss him so much the old him would never have got wiv new girls or messed me around saying one minute he wants to meet up andthe next he doesnt. It takes a long time to get over love. I still cry and want so bad but im beginning to realsie i dotn deserve this crap no more. You and me both one day will find someone so great that we will look back at these problems and laugh. good luck mate. x