Is she playing hard to get?

**Fruitsss** · 25-12-12, 02:19 AM

Stop dating people at work damm. Or learn it the hard way.

**cleancoupe** · 25-12-12, 05:46 AM

For sure. I'm new to all of this going out on dates but I really don't know how to handle things. If I should be the "nice guy" or the one that doesn't show like he's into it too much. I don't want to be seen as desperate guy.

**searock** · 25-12-12, 06:28 AM

You shouldn't "be" anything. Just be spontaneous, do whatever feels right. I bet you had to force yourself not to text her that night after the date, right? Well that was a stupid thing to do. Do whatever you feel like doing, there's no freaking point in trying to act differently that the way you actually are. No point at all.

**smackie9** · 26-12-12, 01:32 AM

A desperate guy would text 20 times after the date from not getting a response. Just one text, response or not would have been fine.

**cleancoupe** · 26-12-12, 02:23 AM

Originally Posted by searock

You shouldn't "be" anything. Just be spontaneous, do whatever feels right. I bet you had to force yourself not to text her that night after the date, right? Well that was a stupid thing to do. Do whatever you feel like doing, there's no freaking point in trying to act differently that the way you actually are. No point at all.

Yes, I was dying to talk to her. But I feel like I would annoy her.

**searock** · 26-12-12, 06:29 AM

Yes and the consequence of you not being spontaneous was that she lost interest, because she thought you were not interested. I hope you learned your lesson.

**rayna** · 26-12-12, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by searock

Yes and the consequence of you not being spontaneous was that she lost interest, because she thought you were not interested. I hope you learned your lesson.

Has the case been closed here? I wish guys could be more open with their feelings. I always take the silence to mean he's not interested anymore, cuz what I've heard is guys don't play ind games...they say/do what they feel...usually without thinking. That's why its usually the guy chasing and the girl playing (in the most stereotypical perspective). Maybe if you were more honest and communicated better with her she could give a second chance...or at least give you closure. That's not guaranteed though.

**smackie9** · 26-12-12, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by cleancoupe

Yes, I was dying to talk to her. But I feel like I would annoy her.

The reeks of no confidence. This will end any interest from a girl before you even get out of the gate.

**cleancoupe** · 27-12-12, 09:59 AM

Originally Posted by smackie9

The reeks of no confidence. This will end any interest from a girl before you even get out of the gate.

Because I feel I would annoy is me showing no confidence ?

**smackie9** · 27-12-12, 10:07 AM

Yes. You worry about making a move = no confidence.

**IndiReloaded** · 27-12-12, 10:27 AM

Guys who like a woman and wait a few days to contact her are stupid. By then, another more honest guy may have jumped the queue. As Smackie said, 20 texts is desperate. One, says classy and interested.

**cleancoupe** · 28-12-12, 08:29 AM

It's not one text though. If you text it means you want to have a conversation

**searock** · 28-12-12, 04:32 PM

Originally Posted by cleancoupe

It's not one text though. If you text it means you want to have a conversation

Nothing wrong with a conversation, as long as you both feel like it. What I think Indi meant was that if a girl doesn't reply to a text, you shouldn't pester her with 20 more texts until she finally replies out of pity or exasperation.

Next time you interact with a girl you like, be spontaneous.

**IndiReloaded** · 29-12-12, 12:31 AM

Originally Posted by cleancoupe

It's not one text though. If you text it means you want to have a conversation

God, this generation seems hopeless re: communcation. Here is an example of the kind of message I get after a coffee date:

[sent after arriving home from date/coffee]

Dear X - Wanted to drop you a quick note to say how much I enjoyed our conversation. Enjoy the rest of your week and I look forward to speaking with you again soon.

Best,
Y

If I am interested in seeing him again, I will send a brief, positive reply. Then, unless I've explictly told him I'm busy or out of town, I usually get a contact in a day or two to meet up at some event or for a meal. This is the dance you must learn.

**smackie9** · 29-12-12, 01:20 AM

Some call it a dance, I call it proper dating etiquette. That's a good example Indi, it's so simple and straight forward...kids these days are hopeless, don't their parents teach them anything?

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