Can my ex's feelings for me come back?

[Jamo22]

My girlfriend fell out of love with me so she broke up with me.we were together 3 years and we were best friends,so in love and so serious about each other and a future together.im devastated she left me.its been 3 months,and we stayed in touch a bit during this time.recently she's told me she doesn't have any feelings for me except as a friend.she finds me attractive but has no erge to be intimate with me in any way.she told me however she's sad and annoyed her feelings for me are no longer there.she said im such a great guy,she still thinks im hot and loves my sense of humour and personality.she told me if her feelings could just come back she would want to be with me again and just go back to how things were between us,so happy and in love.she told me she really wishes her feelings for me would come back...and wants to start over from the start,as friends,having fun again and going on dates..she said she just wants to take it slow and see what happens..as in,see if her feelings for me will return. I'm keen to do it because I love this girl with all my heart.i don't want to force her into anything at all and just taking it slow and being friends,just flirting and simple intimacy like cuddling and hand holding (which is what she wants to start with to see if she starts feeling like she wants more) is all fine with me.i guess I'm just wondering..do you think it'll work? If we just take it easy,go slow,ease into things and have a great time together with a bit of flirting and simple intimacy..can that old spark return for her,can her feelings come back? I guess I'm just looking for some hope..anyone had feelings for an ex return or fallen out of love then fallen back in love? I am aware we can't force it! But could her feelings come back??

[Woods]

When I've felt this way in the past its usually been a signal that the relationship has run its course. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try if you both want to, but I'd at least have a time frame as to how long you're going to try this approach. If her feelings have indeed changed then it's best that the end is not dragged out. Romancing her again is a good place to start although, I would have thought that removing the intimacy would push you more into the friend zone. Surely, when trying to get that spark back the idea would be to have more sex and try new things together, not revert back to hand holding and cuddles. Just a thought.

[smackie9]

Sorry no I haven't had my feeling return. As we get older and move through life we as individuals change, even our feelings for someone will change. Either you grow and evolve together or you grow apart and want different things. That "In love" only lasts for a short time, the honeymoon stage" if you don't have strong compatibility and able to keep things fresh the relationship gets stale and expires. Maybe things burned out because you two spent to much time as a couple (living together will do this) and not enough time as individuals spending time apart out doing your own thing. What keeps things fresh is to have a life outside the relationship, and also introducing new activates, friends and interests. Give it a shot but there is no way really to bring back love....only new love can do that to be honest. Oh well best of luck.

[Jamo22]

Yes we most definitely spent too much time together as a couple.we don't live together but we live a couple minutes drive away from each other..hence we were always around at each others houses.we did absolutely everything together..even sacrificing (stupidly! Trust me we do know where we went wrong..wev talked about it alot)hanging out with other friends and family to just spend time with each other..we hardly had lives outside each other at all.it was very bad.also in the last year of the relationship we got very comfortable with each other and stopped trying to impress each other (for example,stopped trying to look good or do something nice and special for each other). We just watched movies and went out for meals.we always did the same things..so it got pretty boring after a while and we just became set in our ways like that..even our sex life died out.we used to stay at each others houses and be all over each other,have sex all night etc..but this year we just stayed up and watched movies all night..sometimes not even cuddling.then we would always be too tired for sex.we became more like very comfortable friends in a marriage than lovers..I think that's sorta where her feelings died.she just got fed up and bored and the spark got lost.so I'm thinking now that we know that,if we go out and spice it up and have so much fun like we used to at the start..the spark might come back?? I have expressed the idea to her that if she wants the spark to come back we should be more intimate with kissing and sex etc but she said her feelings or sexual desire like that just arnt there enough for her to willing be able to do that.she said if she did that stuff shed have to force herself and be fake (as in she'd have to act like she wanted it) and she doesn't wanna do that.she said if things are gunna happen she needs it to feel right and like she wants it..which I think is fair enough.thats why we are starting slow with just hand holding etc.i must share that we have kissed,rather passionately about a month ago.she was upset about things going on in her life and wanted a friend to talk to.i was that friend.it started off great.she even said after it she could see herself loving me again..I guess because I was so caring and made her feel so much better.it then got into an argument about what went wrong with us and why she won't just try to be intimate with me properly etc etc but then I just said I don't wanna fight can I just hug you..she said yes please do.we kinda collapsed into each others arms onto the bed and I just held her.then we just lay there looking at each other for ages,then she touched my face and we kissed for quite a while.and before I left I asked her what that was about and she said i dont know it just felt right and I wanted to kiss you.so I feel like if we share moments together and have fun and eveverything..the spark really will come back and she will find more moments like that where it will suddenly jut feel right to kiss me..then after a while that feeling will grow and stick around and that's how it'll happen..does it sound possible? Haha

[smackie9]

See less of each other and don't contact each other for 3 days or more. You definitely need to miss each other. Hold back on the physical part as well. You need to build up sexual tension.....flirting is good, and teasing (sexually). With that extra time of not seeing each other, go out with your buddies, do something so you will have something to talk about that's new to her. To be desirable is to be less available.....you will see.