as a friend or more? Input needed!

[gia01]

and I've another question. Like I mentioned on my post about how he took me to a pizza restaurant and we had an amazing time. I forgot to get my cash that night so he paid for the pizza. Now, the next day after our meet, I texted him saying "Hey,so I have to pay you 3$ for the pizza.When can we meet? "
I know it sounded stupid or something but I personally don't like eating with someone elses money unless the person is my best friend(Still i repay in some other way ). So since the pizza was 6$ I wanted to pay half because we ate half each. So he replied after an hour saying " what pizza? I don't remember taking you anywhere. " I know he was joking so that I stop talking about the money but I again asked him when can we meet so I can pay him. But he kept denying that he took me anywhere the previous night. Then for some reason, God knows why but he misunderstood me thinking I was asking him to accompany me to watch shooting stars again. So he said "You can go there alone, gia.You don't need protection. You're strong." That left me baffled. Then I cleared the air saying it was about the money and not about his company and I ended the conversation because it was getting really weird. Then I ended the talk saying, "Fine. I'll keep 3$ with me everytime so when I bump into you I can pay you."
Since then I've been trying to not talk to him much. I did talk to him after that on facebook chat but still it moreover sounded like I was the one showing more interest. Sigh.

[smackie9]

You made a huge mistake. When a girl insists on paying her half of the bill, that tells the guy that you don't want to feel obligated to him, and you are "Just friends" and by no means this was a date. You are clueless.


So when he told you , you didn't need him to go see the stars, you don't need his protection, he was just throwing it right back at you.

[gia01]

You made a huge mistake. When a girl insists on paying her half of the bill, that tells the guy that you don't want to feel obligated to him, and you are "Just friends" and by no means this was a date. You are clueless.


So when he told you , you didn't need him to go see the stars, you don't need his protection, he was just throwing it right back at you.

aah I agree with you on this. I guess I shouldn't have brought out the money topic :\ What made me talk about it was that what if he just thinks of me as a friend only? then eating off just from his money and not showing any concern later would be weird. Hence, I did it. So, I guess I would now pretend like I never spoke about the money or maybe just joke with him saying something like "either take the money or I'll consider it a date " lol. as childish as it sounds but I would love to see his reaction. And he had to catch a flight that night so maybe that's why he didn't want to accompany me. Not covering up for anything though

[smackie9]

To add it's obvious he isn't interested enough to "chase" you or you are not hot enough for a guy to make that effort. So I don't know why you keep whining about it. He's just not that into you.

You are right, a guy should chase you "if" he had any interest. Actions speak louder than words. Tip:

Guys are attracted to sex appeal, if you don't give off a sexy vibe towards them, no guy is gonna look at you. I'm not saying you act like a slut, you have to show some kind of sexiness, flutter your eyes, look up at them, smile..give them some bedroom eyes anything.

[gia01]

To add it's obvious he isn't interested enough to "chase" you or you are not hot enough for a guy to make that effort. So I don't know why you keep whining about it.

I would never whine if some guy isn't into me because I'm sure if not he then definitely someone else would!! I just asked for suggestions so I know if we have any potential and what I could do. That's all.

Guys are attracted to sex appeal, if you don't give off a sexy vibe towards them, no guy is gonna look at you. I'm not saying you act like a slut, you have to show some kind of sexiness, flutter your eyes, look up at them, smile..give them some bedroom eyes anything.

Not 100% true because there "have" been guys who have been attracted to me without me having to give them any pervy vibe. I have a lot of confidence in myself Also, I do look up to him and smile. He told me he loves my hair so I keep it open when I'm not studying. So yup, I do stuffs which I feel are decently flirtatious and he likes it.

[IndiReloaded]

aah I agree with you on this. I guess I shouldn't have brought out the money topic :\

You were fine to bring it up once. Its polite to offer to pay your share. A man isn't *obligated* to pay your way, its a gift that should be acknowledged as such when he does.

What you should have done, after his 'what pizza?' comment was to say something like 'oh, there was this lovely man who paid for my pizza and I wanted to thank him'. Return his light banter. Pressing your point actually takes away his pleasure at doing this small trifle for you. If you are that concerned, buy him his coffee next time the two of you are out, but I think you need only thank him at this point.

[smackie9]

Being sexy isn't pervy. We are sexual beings...it's not a bad thing. I'm sure the guys that did show you interest (without being pervy)was unwelcomed.

If he isn't really biting, then let all those other guys have a chance to get your attention. Really you shouldn't have to work this hard to get a guy's interest.

[gia01]

You were fine to bring it up once. Its polite to offer to pay your share. A man isn't *obligated* to pay your way, its a gift that should be acknowledged as such when he does.

What you should have done, after his 'what pizza?' comment was to say something like 'oh, there was this lovely man who paid for my pizza and I wanted to thank him'. Return his light banter. Pressing your point actually takes away his pleasure at doing this small trifle for you. If you are that concerned, buy him his coffee next time the two of you are out, but I think you need only thank him at this point.

That was a good tip So I guess now when I meet him, I'd bring out the money talk again for once and for last and when he says no, I would then thank him and just leave things casual.

[gia01]

I'm sure the guys that did show you interest (without being pervy)was unwelcomed.

It's just that I don't want anyone to get attracted to me with lust point of view. It could be my personality, looks, sense of humor, charm or any thing of such likes.
At least so far, I know that the many times that he has pursued me in person is at least not because he wants to get physical with me or for some similar purpose. I did not welcome those guys because I just saw them as good friends haha!!

[IndiReloaded]

That was a good tip So I guess now when I meet him, I'd bring out the money talk again for once and for last and when he says no, I would then thank him and just leave things casual.

No - the conversation is over. Why can't you just let this go and relax? Geeze, its $3 you said. Hardly a ticket to Paris.

[gia01]

No - the conversation is over. Why can't you just let this go and relax? Geeze, its $3 you said. Hardly a ticket to Paris.

LOL I know that would be insane just thought it might be a funny conversation starter but now I realize it would just be silly to drag the money talk again.

[Guybrush]

As this thread develops, I'm thinking that based on the way you guys communicate you don't really sound very compatible. There seems to be something overall awkward about the whole project.

I think trying to fix it will probably feel equally awkward. Sometimes that makes you overcompensate, and act out of character, if you know what I mean.

Why not just leave it for a while.

[gia01]

It's not exactly that we ain't compatible or else he wouldn't come running to me each time he sees me no matter who he is with or doing what. He even forgets what time it is while we're talking. But I agree with you about the "Something overall awkward" part. All of my friends and I myself have realized that he's totally totally into me when he's with me in person BUT he suddenly transforms to a different distant person (who doesn't appear to be much into me) when we're not present with each other in person. For eg now, he hasn't chatted with me much on fb even though he has seen me online a few times. However, I can guarantee that when we meet this monday, then he would come running to me even if I pretend to behave like I haven't seen him.

[smackie9]

I did not welcome those guys because I just saw them as good friends haha!!

Just what I thought.

[smackie9]

It's not exactly that we ain't compatible or else he wouldn't come running to me each time he sees me no matter who he is with or doing what. He even forgets what time it is while we're talking. But I agree with you about the "Something overall awkward" part. All of my friends and I myself have realized that he's totally totally into me when he's with me in person BUT he suddenly transforms to a different distant person (who doesn't appear to be much into me) when we're not present with each other in person. For eg now, he hasn't chatted with me much on fb even though he has seen me online a few times. However, I can guarantee that when we meet this monday, then he would come running to me even if I pretend to behave like I haven't seen him.

Trust me on this....dress a little sexier, be more attentive, touch his arm, laugh....what do you have to lose? So far nothing else has worked. Take a walk on the wild side. You will get what you want. He just needs that push. Lust turns into love that's the way a guy's world turns.