Should I join the dark side?

[bob the brave]

I can give tons of examples. Girls that have dumped me because I was a 'nice' guy and leave with the bad boy. He then abuses her and she comes back to me crying and wanting now wanting me. I have had guys tell me my problem is I am too nice.

I am not a wimp or effemiant. It's just that I sincerely care about people and respect them. I don't use them as toys. But that it seems is the rule. Be selfish, get what you can and then when it creates drama, simply move on to the next.

Every time I do something genuinely nice, people get really uncomfortable. It has been my experience that people are really more comfortable treating and being treated like crap.


It seems because of this I am quite lonely and no one understands me. Girls show interest and then seem turned off when I treat others with respect, but love the bully who runs them down.



Are people really this bad? What am I missing? What is it I fail to see or understand about people and relationships?

[dickriculous]

First off, "you're too nice" is really just a gentle way of calling you a pussy. Sorry but someone had to say it.

Women don't go for bad boys because they like being treated like crap, they go for them because taming them is a welcome challenge as opposed to the boring white knights who are willing to saw their dicks off for 5 minutes of her attention (aka most males in our society).

What you're failing to see about relationships and people is that you can't get too comfortable with cookie-cutter rule sets when it comes to attracting women (or anything in life really). Being a nice guy doesn't "work" per se, being a jerk doesn't "work" per se, being a pua doesn't "work" per se. There is no silver bullet persona that will get you all the ladies. The only great secret to women is that there is no great secret. Reality as we know it just isn't that predictable. You have to learn to go with the flow and that comes with experience.

If you want women then approach, approach, approach. Take the rejections as they come and accept them for what they are (aka nothing). You will have to break out of your comfort zone but that's true about any endeavor in life that's worth achieving. I mean, the best way to get better at, say, ice skating is by ice skating. Same is true about pretty much everything else in life no? Then get better at talking to women by talking to women. It's the only course of action that makes sense.

[VincenzoG91]

Women want an assertive guy. Some young women are unable to tell the difference between an assertive guy and a jerk. Google up some info on assertive communication and become a better guy.

[Wakeup]

Every time I do something genuinely nice, people get really uncomfortable.

That indicates then that you are giving inappropriately or at the wrong time or when it's not welcomed and it could also indicate that you're making people feel obligated to you when when they don't want to be.

There is the right timing in giving and doing things for people and when you get the timing right, then your generosity won't be met with uncomfortableness.