Moving for job

[asdlq87]

Hi,

My girlfriend and I have been going out for 4 and have been living together for the last year. I recently finished my degree and accepted a job offer where I am required to move away, but my girlfriend still has one year of uni left. My job starts with a two year placement where I am required to move up to three times and at the moment I only know that the first location I have to move to is about 1.5 hours away (by plane) more like 12 by car. The job sounds like a really good program and also pays well for a recent grad.

I am moving to my first placement next month and I feel really bad now. I have spoken to my girlfriend previously about this and she says she will miss me for the first year but that when she finishes her degree she will follow me to where the job takes me and we can figure out stuff then. She has worked very hard to get her degree, just as much as me, and whilst I am happy she is willing to do that I hate to think that I am making her give up the possibility of working where we currently live, where all her family and friends are.

I did a quick google of other people in similar situations and it freaked me out because lots of people seem to break up over this sort of thing - moving for jobs etc. I guess I am really worried about what effect this is going to have on our relationship because I really do love her more than anything and we have spoken about marriage etc before (down the track). I also mentioned this to my girlfriend and she said it might be hard to be away from each other for a while but we can make it.

This turned into more of a shambled mess than an organised post, but I would kinda like some advice. My girlfriend is obviously really supportive but I don't want to jeopardise what we have together. I can always try out the job and If we decide it's hurting our relationship I would quit. Or I could always drop the job now, before I even move and look for another position in this area. Really any advice would be great.

Thanks

[Cerby]

Decide if you can survive it or not. A friend of mine went to school for 4 years in Toronto while his GF lived in Vancouver (3 day drive). They got together 2-3 times a year for a week during that span, and Skyped 3 nights a week. They survived, he has now moved back and has a great job, and they're engaged.

As long as you have a solid plan to make it work in the end, and are able to keep your heads on your shoulders about it, the year will fly by. Doubts are the toughest thing though, if anyone is doubting surviving the year, then it might go bad.

[IndiReloaded]

A year is doable. Yes, people break up over such things but it can also strengthen your bond if its a good one.

Its much easier now to stay connected with things like Skype than when I did the LDR thing. Of course, letters are classic.

[VincenzoG91]

The first is doable if you both agree on it. The second year sounds like a problem, because her career might get off to a rough start if you are required to move again in the second year, after she has followed you to wherever you are when she graduates. Unless this two-year placement is typical for your line of work, you might consider turning down this offer. On the other hand, the global economy is weak right now, so maybe you can't afford to turn down this job offer unless there are plenty of entry-level jobs in your field.

[HeartIsAching]

Vincenzo nailed what I was going to say. If her career path is such that it'll be easy for her to find work then maybe it's alright. A year apart (with monthly visits) will be rough but doable.

[aaron43]

My 4 year relationship died when I moved away for a job. My high school girlfriend. She was a senior and I was 19. We had been together since we were sophomore/freshman. Very close. Very in love. Even were engaged. 4 months in a year she broke it off because I was unavailable. Not to mention I drove home every weekend. It wasnt enough for her

I'd say look for another job if at all possible. Not saying it won't work but I wouldn't risk it again