Mixed signals: friends or more?

[jchanteuse]

There is a guy I like who is really sending me mixed signals. He has helped me with a few issues, listening giving advice and cheering me up. When we are talking or run into each other we can easily talk for hours with it not feeling like time has passed and anytime I ask to talk he finds a time that we can talk. On the other side he doesn't reply to some of my texts (I try not to text too much) although I think he responds to most of them and we've had a few convo's in texting, but he never initiates a text. He also does not initiate seeing me, but we are really busy and always at school so people don't really hang out outside of school, and we see each other at university club meetings at least twice a week for a few hours. Do you think he likes me or he just wants to be friends? and if so what should I do? I don't want to risk our friendship since we will still see each other for the rest of the year if not longer.

[smackie9]

You have to risk your friendship (if that is what it is) if you wish to proceed with something more serious, it's a given. Anyways when a guy doesn't always respond is because he has a life and also you don't put out so he has no need to be there for you all the time. You have to be flirty, coy and mysterious to catch his attention....he needs signals to know if you are interested. Guys don't want to be just friends, they want sex, but some guys can be too unsure of themselves if they are getting the right signals from a girl. So sitting around waiting is a waste of time. You show more interest, and suggest going out together. Guys do welcome a girl that will make a move.

[Guybrush]

I think there is a lot of information missing in order to guess whether or not he is interested in you as more than a friend. What you haved described could easily be acts of friendliness and nothing more.

What is your own perception? Is he flirting with you or showing any signs of affection?

[basilandthyme]

Your heading says that he's giving mixed signals. But you haven't mentioned any mixed signals in your description of his behaviour. Friendship, sure...but there's nothing indicating that he wants a relationship.

What is he doing which makes you think he may want a relationship with you?

[EvanHadkins]

Some people engage when physically present but not so much via media. This can be a hassle if you get together with them - you can feel like you don't exist because they don't text and so on. It is hard to know with these people if they are interested in you when they are not with you (because in one sense they are not). This might be what is going on.

If you do get together you will probably need to talk about this. You may end up feeling neglected otherwise.

You could try escalating in small stages. Go out in a group. Go out as a couple. Go out somewhere romantic. Then you can opt out at any stage with minimal risk to the friendship.