long distance- seem that ended before making stronger bonds..honesty does not work?

[SIVKA77]

hello all
I am brand new here and saw from several postings that advices are realistic... presently I am in a very strange situation and feel terrible and cannot find a way to make things going go positivelly: after almost 15 years, a man, that was only a colleague, came back into my life and feeligs came out of both... he livers in USA, I live in Europe...we made contact this october when he was in his home country and the time spent was really nice and emotional, yet he did not talk much about his life overall...his business is taking him full time for least six months a year, but this is not a problem at all, nor the distance is since I woudl be flexible to move in case we would come to such point... I know, little time has passed tso far, but until now I had a feeling that we are going on...I was mainly writing mails, and he called me app. once per week... on 24th this month I wanted to talk with him and so I sent him text message over mobile that I will call him (also mentioned approximate time on his side)... few minutes before i actually made a call I text him that he can expect my call in 5mins... when I did I was so shocked when female voise answered that I forgot to talk, the shock was even bigger sicne the woman was speaking my language (it is not English); yet only afterwards I remembered that he told me he is sharing house with a married couple, that are also from mine and his birth country, but living in USA for years now... he got on phone and said to call him in 10mins ... he also mentioned that he has a skype call with a friend .. so when I called him back I said that we can also talk over skype and have him my skype name (so far no voice from him)...so after this tuesday he did not call me nor mail me, thus i have sent some mails (in which I usually write what is going on here and also I am trying to show him how I think as to get me know as a person...) and today sent him text message that if he has time we can talk...no respond... I thought that we have a relationship (in general) nbasede on honesty and truth and wonder why, in case he does not want connection, he does not have the guts to say?= is it possible that everything he said and did was a lie? we are both adults, not so young anymore and I thought that we will ahve straight forward contact... if he got affraid or felt I was too pushy..shoudl not he say so??????!!thanks for any thought and advise....

[basilandthyme]

Sivka, the last time a guy didn't talk to me about his life overall, it was because he'd failed to mention a wife. We can't tell you what's going on with this guy, but his sudden disappearence following a female voice on the phone is very suspicious.

[smackie9]

Basilandthyme is right. When people are secretive, or release very little about themselves means they have something they are hiding. I know your gut is telling you this isn't right and it isn't. You have invested yourself emotionally into something that is just well not much of anything. Best to shut it all down and move on.

[SIVKA77]

dear both
thanks for respond... I thought that he is a bit reserved since he was mentioning that he had a very bad relationship behind, but yes you are right....I also had bad experience years ago, but I am honest with people and am not hiding things...and if I look back, I really did not get much of any information from him on his life (yegt I always leave people to decide whether they want to share it, here I had a feeling there will be not hidings)..maybe I was just too beliving his words that he walks the talk..... I really wonder why honest people need to experience such things... and he was actually the one to start everything... I will leave him to the way he wants and shows, eventually will just be in contact with him as a somebody I know and wish him all the best once we jump into 2013..