New guy need some advice (long distance relationship)

[Guyinthewest]

Hey everyone my name is Jon and I'm new here. I would love to introduce myself but I just can't get her off my mind and I need some advice. I just finished my last semester at college and in the meantime I met and fell in love with an international student. In the summer prior to this semester my girlfriend broke up with me. So I started seeing other girls and going to the bars for fun, and I had no intentions of getting into a relationship, I was a free man. One night at the bars I met this girl and her friend. We talked and she said she had a boyfriend, by the end of the night I ended up kissing and walking her home (I did not sleep with her). She felt terrible about kissing me and she broke up with her ex boyfriend of 3 years the next day. We started hanging out and I noticed that she began to get attached to me. We didn't have sex until about 3 to 4 weeks after the night we met because she wasn't ready. She then told me she was falling for me and I wasn't sure if I felt the same way. I wasn't sure if I was ready to love someone. She kept getting more attached to me throughout the semester and I always had the impression she loved me more then I loved her. She was also really protective of me and she seemed a little insecure about how much I liked her. However, she did continue to talk to her ex boyfriend and she said she still considered him a friend. It didn't really bother be that much. When we only had a few weeks left it started to hit me. It was a very sad day the night before she left with her and my family pretty upset. That night she wrote me a long letter saying how she belongs to me and needs me. We both agreed to continue our relationship and perhaps eventually live together after she finished school. After she left I realized that I loved her more then I thought I could. When she was here I was unsure but now that she's far away I think she's the women I want to marry. It's been about 2 weeks since she left and we've talking. This morning she told me how she wants to grow old with me, she always sends me these kind of romantic messages. Today we were skyping as usual and she told me that she finalized her breakup with her ex, that they will never get back together. She then said she doesn't want to look for other guys but she doesn't want the responsibility of being in a relationship when we're so far away. She said she just wants to have fun with her girlfriends and she doesn't want to hurt me if she does something stupid like flirt or kiss another guy when she's drunk. She said she still loves me and feels the same way about me that she always had, but she said it's hard for her to focus on starting a long term relationship right now. But when she pictures me in her future it makes her really happy. She said she loves me and is always thinking about me. I love this girl and I'm just so confused. She loved me so much when I was unsure and now that I know she is the one, she gets confused. I don't know what to do and I just want things to be back to the way they were when we were together. Thanks for your advice everyone and sorry for such a long thread.

-Jon

[basilandthyme]

Guy in the west, she's not confused - she just doesn't want the complications of a long distance relationship. She's recognised that it won't meet her needs and made the decision accordingly. Face facts, she was getting romantic with you while her ex was at home, so she knows that she's likely to do the same to you - and she's admitted as much.

Unless one of you is willing to move, the only option is to let her go.

[smackie9]

You can't always get what you want. Don't worry you will get over it.

[Love'sReject]

When a girl becomes so over-attached so quickly, it usually means she's pretty mentally ****ed up especially when she talked about drinking and possibly doing things with guys. That usually means a girl is not relationship material yet because she either wants to have fun or needs therapy badly.

[smackie9]

That's usually a young girl that hasn't grown out of her teenage years. Most snap out of it as they mature and realize guys are not all that special.