Am i wasting my time?

[Myloveisextreme]

Hello ladies,

So here's the deal. I'm deeply in love with my girlfriend. We are both in our late 30s and have been dating for almost a year. Oh yeah this is a package deal, she has an adorable little girl that I also love and care for. My girlfriend has told me that she loves me and cares for me but is not in love with me. I have accepted that and appreciate her honesty and loyalty to me. She came out of a really bad divorce a few months before we started dating, so I understand why she is not in a hurry to put her guard down, however I have been feeling kind of unappreciated lately because I put 110 percent into this relationship and will do pretty much anything for her her and her daughter. Her parents came in from out of town for a few weeks for the holidays and she has decided to not tell them she has a boyfriend because she says her mother is really strict. I was kind of disappointed because it made me feel unimportant to her. I also felt that was something a teenager would do. I have not seen her for Xmas nor will see her for new years and I'm bummed out about it. Am I wasting my time with her or am I over reacting?

[surfhb2]

I wouldn't say you're wasting your time but you are both on different levels. She's made her point clear and you didn't act accordingly. Why did you get so attached to someone who didn't feel the same? Best to back off a bit to see where it goes

Communication is important here

[Myloveisextreme]

I fell in love with her because she has many qualities I look for in a woman. She is smart, funny, independent, a great mother and very beautiful but most importantly beautiful on the inside. In the beginning I was okay with the way she felt about me and didn't care much if my feelings were not being reciprocated. I told her that the most important thing to me was for us to always remain faithful to each other and she agreed, but now I'm wanting more from her emotionally and I'm getting frustrated because she's just not there yet. I think you're absolutely right about backing off a bit. I think I got so caught up in being in love that I somehow lost myself in the process and expected her to feel the same way towards me. I hope with time she gets at my level someday because I would like for her to eventually be my wife and if not, then I guess it wasn't meant to be.

[smackie9]

I say move on. She isn't ready for a serious relationship, and man she's really immature that she has to worry about what her parents think even at her age..sheeeesh. You puttin in 110% is your own doing. relationships are give and take.....you over do it, you get what you get.

[chenderson325]

Don't sell yourself short. You deserve 110% too. Also, there is a child involved, something you should consider. The longer you stay around, the more that child will be hurt if you end up leaving.