Help Please

[wesir]

Hi


I asking a lady out for coffee to get to know her where I work.

When I asked for her number face to face (I asked on facebook chat twice) she looked a little shy or awkward and asked why I wanted it. I told her the reason, to get to know each other, after a few seconds and looking at me she said yes.

A few minutes later I hear cheering in her office and about 10mins later another girl asked If I was going out with her.

A day or so later I SMS mine and asking how she is. No reply, maybe she was busy or felt she can see me every week, that’s ok I thought! A few days pass, still talking but not mentioning anything... later that week I decided to ask what she is doing the following week, she replied, work and then I said on the weekend and she said going out with mate. But it was the way she looked at me, the way she was moving her hands behind her back while rocking side to side, and the way she said it gave me the impression she was not interested. I showed I was upset but I left it.

I was upset not so much that she said no, meant no. But because she didn’t value my privacy and also I felt she should have been a little more honest from the get go with me coupled with the fact that she had been, I felt to some degree flirting with me, for example - coming through my work area when she didn’t have to, chatting, big smiles if we crossed each other. I now felt she was not respecting me. For three days after that she tired to get me to talk in little ways and try to act like nothing happened. Happy smiles and big hi but I wouldn’t have it, she even tired to wave and talk to me from across the street normally she is the type that goes about her business and not notice people.

After a few weeks I SMS essentially telling her that I was ignoring her and way, she replied fair enough. But I was very annoyed when she added;

she said she gave me her number like she does with everyone and that she saw no reason not to give it because she is not a rude person. How I couldn’t see it any other way? She said she didn’t feel she give any signs. She then pretty much said its up to me how we go from here but she was happy to forget it.

I didnt reply but I felt that this is not a way to be treated and then I found out she later told her supervisor and dare I say it work gal friends about the SMS an SMS I took great lengths of making it polite and very professional without finger pointing. I felt she disrespected my privacy yet again! because of this I decided it was time to delete her number, block and delete her from facebook.

It’s been 2 and a bit month now. For the most part we have not said a word. Not even a hello. now - but very rarely, she does try to make a single comment, or laugh at one of my comments when I am speaking to someone. Part of me thinks she was just an attention seeker. Allow me to give examples:

After asking her on facebook she saw me outside the coffee shop waiting for a friend. She looked directly at me eyes and said what am I doing, are you waiting for a coffee date.

When I walked into her office she would look to see who comes in the room and then smile directly at me, now she buries herself in her work and rarely looks over to see who is coming into her office. Other people work there also.

She didn’t have to walk into my work area and after the asking out… after a few days and her trying to say hi she stopped.

One of my friends thinks at the work party she was looking at my general direction a few times looking at me and what was going on.

she comes into my office one day. After for absolutely no reason what so ever and my office, not my work area is no where near her work space. In fact no reason to be there. What so ever.


Also now one of her friends is ignoring me.

So what do you think?

I can’t help feel that I had to put my defences at full, because I felt she could be a tease. Then Again I clearly still like her.

[Cerby]

I think you should just forget about her. She isn't interested and based on your post, you sound like you might be slightly obsessive.