Shortest Date in My Life

[saxa]

Hey everyone,

I (male, 25) had a very promising first date with a girl (26) on Tuesday, but it turned into a total disappointment.

I had met her on a dating site and we had exchanged messages for about three months. Over time, I've also been messaging other girls there, but it was not the same, rather superficial and none of them was my match. The same goes for the girls I get to know when going out, she's the one who stands out from the crowd and the only one I'm into.

So I was more than happy when she asked me to pick her up from the airport (as she was coming back from a trip to her home country). She said she would have one hour time before she had to take a long-distance bus to her town. She also said she'd bring a gift for me, and I should come and find her. So she was the initiator of this date.

So I went to the airport the next day. I was really excited, really nervous and really looking forward to her. I came one hour early and awaited her in the arrivals hall. It is quite small, so there was acutally no chance to miss each other. To be on the safe side, I even wore the same jacket as on one of the photos I had sent her previously. However, I couldn't find her anywhere in the small terminal, so after 40 minutes or so I proceeded to the bus stop from where her bus would be leaving at 4 pm. She wasn't there either and I had already almost lost hope, but then, at 3:58 I saw a girl running with her suitcase to get the bus. I knew it was her.

- "Hey, are you XYZ?"
- "Yes." (smiling)
- "I've been looking for you all the time, but couldn't find you anywhere."
- "Yes... We text, okay?" (smiling even more)
- "Okay... Have a good trip!"
- "Thank you!" (getting on the bus)
The whole conversation took about 10 seconds. Since then I haven't heard anything from her. I am so so disappointed Not so much that she obviously changed her mind about meeting me, but that she didn't tell me honestly why she had done so. At least afterwards. I am really puzzled and can just speculate about her behaviour. Was she hiding from me in the airport? Did she get on the bus in the very last minute in order to avoid seeing me? It makes no sense to me why she didn't even want to have a coffee with me for half an hour after she had initiated everything only the day before. Was she just making fun of me, for about three months? Makes no sense to me either.

I'm feeling like a fool now. If she just contacted me and explained why she behaved the way she did. Should I get in touch with her and just ask? I think she should come to me if she feels like saying anything. But obviously she doesn't care

Even though I hadn't met her yet, I trusted her and gave her access to my heart. But I guess it's my own fault if I take seriously what people say online. Just wanted to share my disappointment and confusion. Any comments are appreciated. Thanks for reading!

PS: English is not my mother tongue. Sorry if there are any mistakes.

[smackie9]

It's possible she got nervous and changed her mind.

Call it off. Bad behavior speaks louder than words. A little advice...stay away from long distance relationships, and don't spend months talking to someone. Chat with them a few times then ask them out on a date and get to know them on your date.

[Journey2Virtue]

talk to other girls and keep your options open. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. If she doesn't contact you within a few weeks, then just forget about her all together. If/when she ever does contact you, you can decide whether or not you still want an explanation and if you want to bother with her again.

In the meantime, why not try to date the old-fashioned way of face to face meetings from the start. The problem with internet dating is that its very difficult to know what's real & what's not.
Think about it, you're hurt by someone you've never met before & spoke to for 10 seconds. Not worth the drama. Just keep it moving, don't dwell on this.

[IndiReloaded]

Warning - possible overthinking alert. Is it remotely possible her flight or luggage came in late? I know that *never* happens to me...

Your 'date' was doomed to have something like this happen. An hour window is not much time. I think she sounds silly for suggesting it and you for accepting.

I met someone online recently who was willing to drive to my part of town to have a drink coming in from an out of town trip. Classy guy, not desperate, but rather he seemed worried about disappointing *me* (which I think quite sweet, actually). I thanked him for his consideration, and returned the favour by telling him I'd much prefer to see him relaxed and rested. He seemed relieved and has now suggested a much nicer alternative. Good things come to those who are patient and don't rush.

[saxa]

Thank you to everyone who has replied so far.

Warning - possible overthinking alert. Is it remotely possible her flight or luggage came in late? I know that *never* happens to me...

Her flight arrived on time, but of course I considered that her luggage came in late or that there was some other problem. I mean many things can go wrong in the airport, and an hour is not much time indeed. But she could just have said that, and everything had been fine. Instead she's been quiet till now, for whatever reason.

[IndiReloaded]

I agree with you. Not explaining or apologizing is a bad sign. I'm just suggesting next time you not set yourself up for failure this way.