Not having gone to prom depresses me..

[Love'sReject]

I've always been about traditions and growing up, I always had a vision of living an idyllic American life which included prom..I didn't go because I've always been extremely unpopular, and I mean really, really unpopular. I didn't go because I figured I wasn't important enough to go, no girl was waiting for me to ask her, and this generation just isn't my time...My friends went. Hell, one of my friends had a date with one of the hottest girls we guys were all friends with and in the photo, he had his hands on her curvy hips. Freshmen year, I dreamed about it, thinking if I didn't kill myself that year or any of the years after, I'd love to go to prom.

[jennifer.c]

Being unpopular or having a bad time in high school has literally no bearing on future success or likability. A lot of popular kids in high school turn out to be loser adults and unpopular kids can turn out to be well-liked because they're actually nice and unique. There are of course exceptions, but the bottom line is dwelling on how bad high school was is pretty silly because most people aren't who they were back then.

Anyway, I never went to prom either. I imagine it's not all that it's cracked up to be. If anybody, years down the line, still considers prom to be the best night of their life, they probably have a pretty sad adult life.

[Love'sReject]

It kind of does, when you think about employment after high school: the successful kids use connections made in high school. Plus, popular kids have friends who will be there for them in tough times and hear them out, and help them expand their friendship and acquaintance base. Being popular means if you go missing, the police will have more pressure and care more about finding you since you matter more to the community and will actually be missed if found dead or not found at all.

I didn't quite imply that prom is or was supposed to be the best night ever; but it is pretty important in the common teenager's life. It's a rite of passage, not just a dance. Think about it: How many popular kids willfully skip out on prom? Virtually none. If you get an invitation or have an invitation accepted, by extension you're accepted. Those who don't go to prom are very often just not worthy of occupying the prestigious space of the prom mass. Also frequently, those who dismiss prom as overrated or not all that cracked up to be are secretly harboring bitter feelings that they didn't go or weren't asked to one of the most pivotal events in high school.

[vashti]

I didn't go to prom. In fact, I skipped right over dating high school boys all together.

[Love'sReject]

Really? Were you flooded with invites, though? Uber strict parents?

[vashti]

No invites. My parents were absurdly strict, but that's not why. I was very shy when I was in school. High school boys never asked me out, but older ones did because I was well-developed.

[Love'sReject]

No invites?! Must have been a real looker; guys probably figured they had no chance.

[vashti]

I don't think I felt particularly attractive until I was in my 30s. I think I just didn't seem approachable. Plus, I lacked the confidence needed to be any good at flirting.

[Love'sReject]

That's unbelievable. You just alluded to older guys having asked you out (guys of more substance than stupid high school dudes?)...

[vashti]

Older ones have better game and are more bold about pursuing what they want. They didn't have any more substance, though.

But you see? You aren't the only young person who struggles with the opposite sex. There is plenty of time for you.

[Love'sReject]

At least you had something to validate that you're attractive..

[vashti]

Quite honestly, it doesn't matter what other people think; it matters more what YOU think. Boys chased after girls a lot less pretty than I was in high school, and I was ignored. I was pretty much a wallflower until I felt attractive, and that's when I started getting attention. In fact, I get hit on a LOT more now than I did when I was young.

You've got to work on your self esteem, darling.

[Love'sReject]

But it's vanity to assume one is attractive; validation is pretty important. We had a really huge girl here wrongfully crowned as Miss (this city) only because her rich daddy bought it. You're telling me she's attractive without caring that everyone in the city was laughing at her and daddy?

Perhaps these guys chased girls who looked like they would give it up? High school guys are every bit as misogynistic as they're depicted..

[vashti]

I am not so sure that considering yourself to be objectively attractive is necessary to feel desirable, or at least, it plays a smaller role than you think.

[Love'sReject]

But attractive and unattractive are facts and without any evidence to believe someone is attractive, isn't it arrogant to assume one is?