Lacking in attention, is flirting cheating?

[Bibi]

Hi there. I would like to get some male opinion.
Ok, say that I am in a relationship but things are not as they use to be after 5 years.
I do not feel very special anymore, and I am constantly taken for granted. Is it considered cheating if I have an odd flirt with some cute guy I just met. I am really considering it since I just want to get noticed again and treated specially by someone. I have discussed the problem with boyfriend many times but it always leads to a dead end and a guilt trip for him. I dont want to be a whiny girlfriend. I just want to feel like a wanted woman again besides in the bedroom. To put it directly a small confidence boost. I feel that its gotten to a stage where it is unacceptable on his side. I dont even get phone calls or messages because he says that its never the right time, or its expensive, or he forgets or... or... and its like that with everything. There is always something that gets in the way of him just being plain and simply thoughtful. Never acts like a gentelman anymore, I pay on most dates that we go on, I order, he never holds a door or a coat for me anymore, there is hardly any hugging unless I ask for it, complements are hard to come by, end of story, he has gotten soo lazy.
Advice guy tell me how to get blood running again and is it okay if I flirt a bit.

[Guybrush]

Two questions:

1: What is making you stay in your current relationship?
2: And what do you want to achieve by flirting with the "cute guy"?

The obvious, generic answer is to either try and fix your relationship or end it. Your plan does not seem to target any of these outcomes as your goal.

[Bibi]

I stay because I love him and because we just got engaged but I miss the nice gestures that come with a relationship that he just doesnt seem to do for me anymore.
To answer your second question, its nice to feel wanted and given attention like it was when I first started dating my fiance. So I think that it would emotionally give me some satisfaction. I would have turned down anyone who looked my way untile now, but I am reconsidering it. My goal is not to have any physical contacts with someone else, just a drink or coffee and talking about whatever. Does this make any sense?

[Guybrush]

Does this make any sense?

No, sorry.

Is your plan that you deserve a little bit of male attention now, and once you have received that all your problems are solved? You think that this will cure your problems and that you will never again crave male attention and that you can then return to your fiancee and prepare for a long and happy marriage?

Do you believe in this yourself?

[Guybrush]

Seriously, you have two options, both of which focus enitirely on your current relationship:

A: Fix it
B: End it

Seeking attention from other guys should not be an alternative, though it will easily lead to option B. But in a way that will make you look and feel bad.

[Love'sReject]

Here's a way to boost your esteem from guys without bordering on infidelity and really helping yourself: hang out with gay guys! Gay guys are usually pretty supportive and your guy can trust them not to make moves!

[Guybrush]

Here's a way to boost your esteem from guys without bordering on infidelity and really helping yourself: hang out with gay guys! Gay guys are usually pretty supportive and your guy can trust them not to make moves!

Plus, they can do your hair and help you with your makeup.

[Bibi]

You are right, I dont. But I just feel tired of fighting for something that just isnt happening for me. I feel that I make him feel even worse so now he doesnt even want to talk to me anymore. Arent these thing just suppose to happen by themselves?? or is ti too late for me?

[Guybrush]

Again, two options:

A: Fix it
B: End it

Do you believe in A?

[Bibi]

Thats a great idea actually. maybe I dont even need male attention at all, I just need someone to share things with and talk no matter what gender they are.

[Bibi]

I have tried to fix it, hasnt worked yet. I could get use to it and just accept thing as they are. Or end it which is not possible, I have been to hell and back with this person I cant emagine life with out him, he is like already part ot me.

This sounds really mushi , hahahah

[Guybrush]

It sounds like you are still on the fence in terms of deciding between your two obvious options.

Either way, flirting with other people won't solve anything. And in my honest opinion, yes that is cheating.

[Bibi]

OK, I agree. I will take your advice. do you have any suggestions on how I can fix things. Talking and complaining hasn't gotten me anywhere. There is only one reason I could think about which might have caused this situation. He has become distant form everyone not just me, he doesnt go out anymore and avoids his friends. Two years ago we found out that he had a autoimmune illness, which he is getting treated for now. This could be the reason why he has started to avoid social contact including me. Is it possible? I tried to be most supportive and gentle as I can.

[Guybrush]

Do you fear he is depressed? Do you think he would be prepared to receive therapy?

[Bibi]

I know, I recognise all the symptoms and I have told him. Therapy I doubt it, but he might agree to some medication. It took me about 2 years for him to open up to me, he just keeps to himself alot. He cant talk about feelings and thoughts, tried him many times.