Second chance?

[tdg89]

Hi everyone,

Little over a year ago I fell in love with this girl. Until then I knew her as the sister of one of my best friends, but I didn't know much about her. So a year ago she enrolled in my gym. We often went to the gym together. But we also saw each other outside the gym. 8 months ago, I told her I liked her. She rejected me. She said she likes me, but not in the same way.

Things got very awkward and we've barely spoken to each other since then. Although I don't blame her for anything, she did break my heart. In an effort to restore some interaction, I invited her to my birthday. The night of the party, she texted me saying she couldn't make it because she forgot about my party and had another one planned. She said she felt really bad about it and I think she really meant it. She suggested to go for lunch this weekend to make it up, so I accepted. We haven't been with just the two of us since I told her I liked her.

To me it's very clear I'm still crazy about her. I've never experienced anything like this. A lot of the things she's done and said are still very clear in my memory, even the most insignificant pieces of information. When I meet other women, it seems I can't really listen to them. I forget what college they went to or what their plans for the next day are. But with the first-mentioned girl, I can still remember what we talked about a year ago.

We're going for lunch on Saturday. Should I try to talk about what I felt / feel for her? Or should I just give up and try to have a simple friendly lunch?

Thanks

[searock]

You should call off the lunch... why would you want to be in touch with a woman you have feelings for and who doesn't reciprocate them? It would only bring you pain and even more heartbreak. You should have put no effort at all into "restoring some interaction". Don't go to lunch with her: you can even tell her the real reason, that it hurts too much to hang out with her because she doesn't have feelings for you, she'll understand. Move on.

[smackie9]

You need to just let the f uck go. She didn't break your heart you did because you invested feelings in someone when you are not even dating them. You are obsessing and you need to see what you are trying to do is only going to make you even more messed, and her really not wanting to do anything will you ever again. You are being an idiot. I agree you need to call of the lunch because of your ulterior motive. It's just plain wrong...you can express your feelings for her till you are blue in the face...it ain't going to change anything. The end results are that you will look like a creepy creep.

[tdg89]

I'm sad you didn't tell me to go for it, but I guess you're right on the part that I'm not going to be with her. Still, I decided to see her, for two reasons. One, I simply don't want to leave feeling bad. She's been through some really serious stuff very recently. Besides, I can't evade her. She's the sister of a friend I see at least four times a week. Two, I need some closure. I want to tell her how I feel about it all, but also make it clear to her that I'm not going to pursue her anymore.

[searock]

You'll only make her uncomfortable and come off as desperate and a bit stalkerish, if you bring up the issue of your feelings for her yet again. She already knows how you feel and there's no need for you to *tell* her that you won't pursue her anymore, just don't do it, period. Going to lunch with her is, simply put, a bad idea.

[smackie9]

I'm sad you didn't tell me to go for it, but I guess you're right on the part that I'm not going to be with her. Still, I decided to see her, for two reasons. One, I simply don't want to leave feeling bad. She's been through some really serious stuff very recently. Besides, I can't evade her. She's the sister of a friend I see at least four times a week. Two, I need some closure. I want to tell her how I feel about it all, but also make it clear to her that I'm not going to pursue her anymore.

She's gonna hate you for that....that's the most retarded thing for you to do....it's not closure, it's a last ditch effort to see if you have a chance...again you are an idiot, just let it go already!

[Boisdevie]

'Closure' is just a bullshit word and you're looking for bullshit excuses. Pathetic, bloody pathetic.

[basilandthyme]

I'm sad you didn't tell me to go for it, but I guess you're right on the part that I'm not going to be with her. Still, I decided to see her, for two reasons. One, I simply don't want to leave feeling bad. She's been through some really serious stuff very recently. Besides, I can't evade her. She's the sister of a friend I see at least four times a week. Two, I need some closure. I want to tell her how I feel about it all, but also make it clear to her that I'm not going to pursue her anymore.

I agree with what has been written so far. She'll hate you for putting her in such an uncomfortable situation. Besides, there's no 'closure' to be had - she wasn't interested in a relationship. End of story.

[tdg89]

Great argument French dude. I would love to hear you say 'pathetic' in person, must be hilarious.

[smackie9]

I hope she is able to move on.