Need advice, insight, opinions.. Dating for 7 months

[bradchin]

Hi everyone,

I made this account to get some opinions from other males & females on my situation.

I've been dating this girl for about 7 months... I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years after realizing that I wasn't "in love" with her and this girl was one of the people who helped me to realize that. I really like this girl, she has an amazing personality and we share so many similar interests. I can think about my future and can imagine her in it.

Given all that, we've been having some issues. It all started a few months back and has been causing trouble in our relationship ever since. I noticed some differences "downstairs" on me and was diagnosed by my family doctor that I have Genital Warts. It's a pretty minor case and is barely noticeable, but it still gets in the way sometimes. When this happened initially, it freaked both of us out, and I had no idea where it came from, as she had no signs of having it herself. Before her, I was with my girlfriend of 3 years and both of us had only been with eachother, sexually. We both lost our virginity to each other.

My new girlfriend of 7 months went for a pap test after I started having suspicions that I had genital warts, and everything came back negative. Although there are no signs, I feel that she has the virus but it's not visible. When I was diagnosed she started feeling very guilty and blaming herself for it. This went on for weeks before things started getting back to normal. This of course brought up many long discussions of her past. She has had multiple sexual partners. About 6 of them were her boyfriends, and 2 of them were people she was seeing. She claimed that there were many times she had not used protection with her boyfriends, but other than that she always used condoms.

After recent discussions with her, she has admitted to me that there were 2 more "one night stands"... one with a friend and another with someone she had no clue who they were, when she was on a vacation. Didn't use protection with either of them. She was hiding this from me and I feel wouldn't have told me if I hadn't raised questions about it. She promises me that I now know everything and I know how bad she feels about her past. I know she really regrets what she has done.

I just feel that finding all this out about her, has changed my perspective of who she really is to me. Having sex with these guys without any form of protection?? She put herself at risk for infection AND pregnancy, but was lucky enough never to have gotten pregnant. It just makes me sick to think about... I know that it's all in the past, and I know she really does love me... but I can't help but wonder if there's more that she isn't telling me about. She has promised me there isn't, but I can't help but wonder.

I just don't know how to make these thoughts of her with other guys that could have possibly passed on this infection to me get out of my head. Has anyone else had similar experiences? Any thoughts are appreciated, and if you have further questions I will answer them as soon as I get the chance.

Thanks so much in advance.

[Beenthere]

Hi Bradchin, I assume you have been having unprotected sex with your g/f too so........

As hard as it is to take, when you meet someone new they are always going to have a past. Im not saying its ok, but she might have been trying to make an impression and you havebeen with 2 people in committed relationships, she probably didnt want to come clean about her few indiscretions early in the relationship in case you judged her, just like you are now.

You have a choice to make, accept that she is now telling you the truth and put any pictures/thoughts of other guys out of your mind. She didnt do any wrong in being with them.. she was just foolish not using a condom. At the end of the day, you slept with her without protection knowing the rest of her past... OR.. move on, because its not fair to her to be judged for having innocent relations before she met you.

[bradchin]

Hi Bradchin, I assume you have been having unprotected sex with your g/f too so........

As hard as it is to take, when you meet someone new they are always going to have a past. Im not saying its ok, but she might have been trying to make an impression and you havebeen with 2 people in committed relationships, she probably didnt want to come clean about her few indiscretions early in the relationship in case you judged her, just like you are now.

You have a choice to make, accept that she is now telling you the truth and put any pictures/thoughts of other guys out of your mind. She didnt do any wrong in being with them.. she was just foolish not using a condom. At the end of the day, you slept with her without protection knowing the rest of her past... OR.. move on, because its not fair to her to be judged for having innocent relations before she met you.

Thanks for that. I will just say that her and I did use protection, and I still caught that. It wasn't until after she was tested that she went on birth control and we stopped using condoms. She had never been on the pill before and it just scares me knowing she made those decisions..