My Fiance left me for another woman, I devastated!

[Dankarella]

Where do I even start? I have to set up the backstory, so hopefully you will read it all. I'm just looking for some opinions on if you think he will come to his senses and come back to me. But I can't expect people to predict the future, I just need some advice I guess. I just feel so devastated still, and I just wish it didn't feel like my chance to have my own family was ripped out of my hands.



I'm 30 now, and when I was 28 years old, I met Justin 22 years old during a September while we both worked at a haunted house. My first impression of him was "He wasn't a stranger to trouble," so I didn't want to give him the time of day at first, but he worked for it and won me over. He had a bad past that I was kind of scared of, but he was so honest and open with me from the very start and he assured me he wanted to move past that and do good with his life, so I decided to give him a chance. Our personalities just really clicked and we fell in love fast. By Thanksgiving he was even commenting how he could definitely see living the rest of his life with me. We were living together by the New Year.

We always had a great time together. Even though we were so different in how we grew up, we were very similar in many ways, and had a lot of coincidences between us. The same initials, even our last names sound like a different way of pronouncing the same last name. Our family structures we came from were exactly the same with 1 oldest girl and 3 younger boys and each sibling had similarities to each other. I was pretty similar to his sister, and so on, etc. His mom felt like the "cool" mom I never had, my mom was uber-lame, lol. He and I hardly ever fought and had a laid-back chill attitude about everything. When I first met him he was pretty much homeless, living at the haunted house site. I got him off the streets, helped him get more jobs down the road, etc. We even tried running our own business for a while.

At the beginning after I had been dating him for a month, he was excited to introduce me to his friend 26 years old Justine aka "Teeny" and hoped she and I would become good friends. They knew each other from the same street as children. She was 4 years older than him and wouldn't give him the time of day when they were young, and hung out with his older brother instead. Justin had told me that he had a huge crush on her back then, but he didn't want her anymore. He liked to be honest with me. But they were good friends to the point where when he was homeless, she would help him out by washing his clothes and get him meals, etc. She was his closest female friend. My instincts are usually right and I remember my first impression of her was that I sensed she had a crush on Justin and that I was happy I was skinnier and prettier than she was.

Anyway, Justin and I were in our own little happy world the first year together. When I got pregnant after 9 months together, we were super happy! Justin especially happy because he's always wanted kids his whole life, he's a total family guy. One of the reasons I fell in love with him was that he said he just wanted to start a family and have kids, and that was what I was looking for. He is really great with kids and he had always thought he was sterile mainly because in his crazy way, he actually tried to get all his girlfriends pregnant his whole life and none of them ever did. Those girls all got pregnant with the next guy after him. Go figure the one and only time him and I ever had unprotected sex, I get pregnant. So we were happy. But we also had lots of stressful things happened the first year, lots of bad luck that put us on a slightly unstable foundation.

He was great to me, would always rub my feet, do things for me. We drove 2 hours to his sister's house to get his Grandmother's wedding ring, and he asked me to marry him. He was doing great with a good job at the time, we just got over a year of bad luck after we moved out of our first place which I came to the conclusion was a cursed apartment. Teeny was starting to come back into the picture more often. Justin and I would go over to her place and hang out, she had 2 younger kids and other friends with kids, so it was fun meeting other people with kids. I was becoming a little closer to her and did a few cool paint projects for her place. Justin wanted to make her the baby's god-mother, so I said ok. Then Teeny said she would throw our baby shower and she threw us a wonderful party. I want to point out that during my pregnancy as I'm growing larger and swollen, Justine was going to workout classes and was always wearing little booty shorts every time we go to her place...

The last few months right before baby comes, Justin's alcoholism is getting worse. He was the type who felt like he needed beers every night, and now he was really taking it to the extreme drinking earlier and heavier. He said he had to "get it in" before the baby comes. To the point where he is getting pretty reckless and starting to make really bad decisions again. He is Bipolar and I think it is starting to make him a bit manic. Baby is coming and Justin said Teeny wanted to be in the hospital room while I give birth. I said fine, she was actually a good help that day.

After baby came in March, I'm getting over the major body changes, pain, hormonal changes, brain fog, no sleep, baby blues, etc. Justin is continuing in his downward spiral and being reckless. We don't have any intimacy anymore because we stopped touching each other, I couldn't physically have sex for about 2 months after due to pain. I'm not getting much help with the baby and I take out my frustrations on Justin, I'm not in my right state of mind. He's not in his right state of mind and ended up quitting his job in April around the same time an old friend from his past came back into town. I had to go back to work part time and couldn't make enough money to pay our bills. About that same time Teeny stops talking to either of us which infuriates Justin so he gets mad and stops talking to her. I also remember about this time he mentioned that he was cutting Teeny out of his life because his feelings were getting too strong for her. I was wondering what the hell he meant by that, but I am not the jealous type, so I took his word for it.

Sometime in June, Justin and I had a pretty big argument about it all. I forget why I became suspicious but I looked through his phone and found a picture of a woman from behind on all 4's on a bed wearing lingerie. It looked like a sext picture of his ex girlfriend. So I called him out on it and we fought again. Things keep getting worse and worse, he's doing dirt with his old buddy. He gets DUI with my car, I needed to cash in the last of my gold and silver to get my car out of impound. Everything is just going to shit. AlIn July, we started talking to Teeny again. Justin and his recklessness prompted Teeny and her best friend to invite me over to her place and tried to convince me to leave Justin and how he was a horrible boyfriend. I didn't listen to them, that was the last time I was at her place. Justin and I were living with roommates and got notice in July the house sold and we had 2 weeks to find a new place and come up with money on top of that.

In August somehow through it all, we came through (only homeless for 1 week) and get our OWN place once and for all, no roommates to create drama. Justin's annoying friend finally left town. I thought things would start to go back to normal now that we had our own place. I was hoping Justin would settle down into "family time" and just chill. But nope. Even though his license was suspended, I stupidly still let him drive my car. I understand I was part of the problem, I enabled him by buying the stupid alcohol for him. I enabled a lot of it. But he knew how to get his way and he refused to just "sit" at home with the baby, so he would drop me off at work and take the baby with him and go to friend's houses. I also found out at this time that Teeny had changed her number. Justin still had contact with her but I didn't. I was purposely cut out, and it didn't sit right with me that I couldn't contact the god-mother of my child, and Justin said he wanted it that way and to just deal with it.

Well first weekend in September Justin and I are at a party and I notice some girl is getting a little too "touchy-feely." And it was really bothering me because I wished he was like that with me. I was still in my funk, still not able to drop the baby weight and still wearing maternity pants 6 months after giving birth. I kept seeing this "too close for comfort" flirting going on before my eyes and I called them out on it. I opened a HUGE can of worms with that one because Justin completely over reacted and got very angry. I know him and his pride took a hit because he would always say how he always stayed true to me, even when he was presented with opportunities in the past. This night he was acting as if I was accusing him of cheating. He angrily said that if I suspected he was cheating, he may as well just go cheat on me with Teeny now. I think this is when I found out that sexy picture on his phone was actually Teeny! Ugh.

The last week of September he is now taking my car after I get off work and going to friends houses. He is now starting to stay out all night and not come home till morning. After I talked to a friend of his, I find out Justin is lying to me about things now. My intuition was throwing up major red flags when he was gone all night, and I was becoming a psycho girlfriend calling him numerous times a night wanting him to come home with my car. I didn't know what to do and didn't understand how we came to this.

One night at the end of September I know he was texting Teeny like crazy and ignoring me, so as soon as he drunkenly feel asleep on the cough like he's been doing the past 6 months, I took his phone and looked through his texts from that evening. My heart sunk. I found more than enough evidence that he was having sex with her. I was so shocked I became numb. Everything finally made sense. I paced most of the night and finally slept. I left for work the next morning without saying goodbye to him. He was gone by the time I got home, along with all of his clothes. His instincts told him to leave when I didn't say goodbye that morning. I was devastated. My life turned upside down.

He was so ****ing cold to me at first. He was even telling me how they had plans to get married, etc. All this crazy stuff! I couldn't believe it. I hated him for what he did. I hated her for what she did.

He still watches our baby every single time I work. He cannot get a job due to his past, so he sits at her apartment all day. He also cannot leave the apartment because he is also currently wanted by the police because he skipped out on his DUI court case because he didn't want to miss our baby's first everything. But guess what? He still technically missed it because I wasn't about to let him have the baby on all the special Holidays, etc. I have somehow managed to stay strong throughout this whole time, especially still seeing him nearly every other day since the split.

Apparently he's the "happiest he's ever been" now that he's with her. And he hasn't had any alcohol for the past month, etc. And all this other junk that just "proves" she's just SO perfect for him. I have creeped on his facebook page from someone I know who is still friends with him. But I know a lot of people over exaggerate their statuses to try to compensate for something missing. I believe he is making it out to everyone that he is just SO happy now and made the right decision by cheating and walking out on his new family.

I just wish that he will come to his senses and realize he made a horrible mistake. We were SO in love with each other, I just feel like everything unraveled during the last year we were together and we forgot how we once were. I know a lot of it was Teeny meddling with his mind in a lot of ways and confusing him. Especially during a time where I was going through a lot of mental and physical changes where I needed support and it wasn't there. I believe she completely took advantage of that and manipulated him.

All that aside, I know they aren't going to last. First weekend of January, he called me an hour after I dropped off our baby and asked me for a ride to his friend's house and that he had to get out of there away from those "crazy people." I asked him WTF was going on? And he said he was suspecting Teeny going through his phone and he set up something fake and caught her snooping. So he was pissed that she didn't trust him and said that I at least trusted him and didn't go through his phone. I told him I didn't blame her, lol. But they ended up making up and he didn't leave her after all. On top of that, I am still friends with his brother and see him pretty often. So I hear a few things such as how no one in their family even likes Teeny, how they all think she's fake.

I just mainly wonder if he's going to come crawling back to me after things end with them. I don't want to make it easy for him, but at the same time I would like to put everything aside and make it work. I just wonder if he would feel the same way at making it work and being a family? I understand it was probably meant to be that things had to happen this way. I wonder if things didn't spiral out of control at the end and Justin were still with me, would Teeny have become a problem further down the road? Did he have to get his childhood infatuation with her out of his mind once and for all? If they never got together, would he have always wondered and pined for her, what if? While with me would he have always wondered if he was with her instead?

Maybe it's because I have had absolutely NO closure with this, I just want my happy ending... I want him to remember how good we were with each other.