boyfriend on hookup dating sites

[louiseleo]

hello, last month i caught my boyfriend of 4 and a half years on a hookup site. i came across it when i tried to upload a pic id taken his fone n the browser showed the last page he had been on. i confronted him n asked of he had beem cheating or ever cheated on me. he told me that he had kissed a girl from work on a drunken staff party 2 years ago that he was good friends with and they both stopped the kiss n said they cudnt do it. the girl died nearly a year ago n a woman ahouls listen to her gut because i remember thinkn he was takin her death very badly for a work colleague. i am the type of person who could forgive a kiss but what bothers me is he continued to have a close friendship with her up to her death. shouldnt he have wanted to distance himself from her if she was a temptation? i cant help doubting that more happened with her.

as for the dating site, his excuse was that he had been wanting to propose to me but wanted to sleep with a woman first. can someone please explain this to me? i am 26 and he is 27 and maybe we got serious too young. we have been livin together for nearly 4 years. but what kills me is he has always been the one pushing ny level of commitment in our relationship. n before finding out this i trusted him 100%. he gave me the password n i could see that he had msgd women trying to meet for no strings sex. i left him for all of a week before i came back because this just seemed so out of character. since then i snooped n saw that this site wasnt a once off but there were others opened a few months before. i know ye probably think im stupid but i wanted to forgive him as he said he hasnt slept with nyone because "he chickened out n cudnt do it n it was just online" but i dont think i can. i think about it every day. when i first approaches him about other sites he blatently lied to my face. he says he wont go on the sites again n it seems he hasnt so far but i just keep driving myself crazy thinkn has he really been playing me all along and cheating. how am i ever goin to know the truth?! has nyone ny experience with their partner on hookup dating sites? the thing is i dont want nyone else. and as **** up as what hes done i really believe he loves me but im starting to think love is not enough of a reason to stay together

[Wakeup]

You are being played and you bloody well know it.

Check your motive for NEEDING to stay with a man that is a lying, cheating douch bag. Why are you afraid to leave him?

"Love" is never enough to keep a relationship together, functional and happy. This isn't Hollywood. If you stay with him (you are a fool without self-worth if you do) then talk to him about having an open relationship so that you can have stranger sex as well. Make sure he wears a rubber when having sex with you from now on.

[smackie9]

Actions speak louder than words...why you even wanting to wait around for him to tell the truth to you? He is cheating because he isn't that into you, doesn't respect you or care about you. If you say he tells you that he cares for you, what makes you think he is is tell you the truth about that when he has been constantly lying to you about everything else? Stop being naive. If you let him off the hook all you are teaching him is that he can get away with lying and cheating on you without any consequences.....then the cycle of lying, and cheating continues.

[louiseleo]

Thank you for your replies. I got the strength to break up with him today and though I am confused I am in a way relieved that I did. I stayed because i kept second-guessing myself thinking maybe he was just confused about our relationship and wouldn't have taken that step to actually sleeping with other women, but the fact is even if I had doubts I wouldn't be sneaky enough to take the step of contacting other men. I think it was so hard to break up because he was just so convincing over the last few years that I thought he could be trusted and it took me a while to get my head around it. You guys helped me come to my senses so thanks.

[smackie9]

Good for you! This is always the hardest step...to let go. It gets easier from here on out. Turn to your close friends and family for support. I wish you happiness for the future. Take care.

[afekson]

You are being played and you bloody well know it.

Check your motive for NEEDING to stay with a man that is a lying, cheating douch bag. Why are you afraid to leave him?

"Love" is never enough to keep a relationship together, functional and happy. This isn't Hollywood. If you stay with him (you are a fool without self-worth if you do) then talk to him about having an open relationship so that you can have stranger sex as well. Make sure he wears a rubber when having sex with you from now on.

I strongly agree with you; the sooner she realises the truth about this man the better for her.

[smackie9]

Dude she broke up with him and moved on already. This thread is over.