No Relationship Experience

[Darrin79]

Hi I am new on this forum and this is my first posting and boy do I have a doozy to start off with. This posting may be a little long so please bare with me. I am going to be 34 years old and have never been in a relationship so far in my life. I wasn't the best looking guy in my younger years and thought that when I decided to change my appearance and get contacts things would look up but it didn't. It seems like the turning point was once I hit about 13 and was in grade 8 and everyone else in class was getting hooked up and I was left on the outside.

There was this one girl that did give me attention and I guess you could call it getting together but I was always shy and awkward around her and kept saying I didn't want to be bf and gf so she ended up getting tired of it and went after someone else well then high school happened and this other girl gave me the time of day but again I shied away and she was gone another girl in High School I liked from a distance for 2 years and never said a thing to her even though friends went to great lengths to get me to talk to her I still didn't then before you knew it I graduated and I never seen her again.

So this takes me up to after high school in which I decided to take a year off from school then go to college. At this time we ended up getting the internet and so I went on some chat lines ended up talking to a few and even meeting one of them and other one I kinda fell for but strange enough she was in the US so that went no where. I ended up going to college and again I saw someone attractive but again never talked to her while strange enough I kinda had an assumption that this other girl a group of us chummed with was into me which I ignored again and she ended up leaving the school.

So instead of saying the rest you pretty much get the point the same things just kept happened liking girls that had bf's, liking the wrong girls, and not doing things when I had the chance to. The last real time I could have been a relationship was 5 or 6 years ago in college when I actually got the nerve to talk to this girl I even got her number and everything called her up and wanted to have lunch but she never got back to me. So basically I have no experience in anything to do with love and relationships and I need help unless its to late for me now. I just keep thinking that why would some girl want me if she found out the truth why weren't I good enough.

[ashley89]

you just need confidence... I think it is the lack of confidence that's keeping you from being with people. you think you're not good enough, so that comes through and if you don't believe you're good enough why should anyone else? you need to find what makes you happy, do things you are good at and enjoy, and find something that makes you feel good about yourself. then you'll get a sense of self worth and girls will see that and want to be around you too. it's a vicious cycle; if you don't feel you are confident or worth being with, girls won't either.

[HeartIsAching]

Take some time to figure out why you self-sabotage. Perhaps a professional could help with that.

[dem862]

You keep saying you are shy and lack nerve. You could have social anxiety or social phobia. It is one of the easiest fears to overcome. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

[sallyjoseph]

I'm agree with ashley , take some time first understand yourself do whatever you want and improve your confidence.