Previous Relationship Blockage

[muumin5]

There is this guy I am friends with, and I recently started liking him. He found out I liked him and told me that he doesn't want to ruin our relationship, and he just wants to be friends right now. Later I found out that the year before he left a relationship and it went horribly, so he doesn't want to ruin our relationship. But he thinks he might like me. I am trying just to be friends with him, but the question is, do I have a chance with him? And if I do, what should I do to get past his past? Thanks!

[Boisdevie]

Can I offer you some advice please.
1. This is a friendly forum and it works like this: you outline a problem, ask us a question and we try to give our best advice depending on our experience and how insane we are.
2. Please do not begin a sentence with the word 'so' as some pedants might immediately dismiss your poor grammar as an indication of low intelligence. This is something I would never stoop to.

[muumin5]

Check out the grammar made clear site.
Just want to make it clear that starting a sentence with so is proper, it just doesn't always add depth to what you are saying. But since you are from France and English is probably not your first language, I'm not going to take offense.

[smackie9]

Ever hear of the ladder theory? Guys only have one ladder. At the top are the real hot girls that are way out of his legue that he will have sex with, then below that girls he likes and would have sex with and at the bottom girls that are too ugly but would have sex with but would have to be too drunk to care and would never tell anyone he did. Depending on how attractive you are is where your position is on his ladder. I imagine going by his response), you are somewhere near the bottom.


With guys it's about sex and how good looking the girl is. He don't give a rat's ass about a "horrible" past relationship. Guys are not emotional like that. If a hottie comes along, he's gonna go for it.

[Boisdevie]

Check out the grammar made clear site.
Just want to make it clear that starting a sentence with so is proper, it just doesn't always add depth to what you are saying. But since you are from France and English is probably not your first language, I'm not going to take offense.

C'est gentil. Merci. Mais je m'en fous.

[smackie9]

So, I just found out that the reason he rejected me is because his last relationship ended really badly, and he doesn't want to ruin our relationship. And he doesn't like another girl, he actually thinks he likes me.

Don't believe all that a guy tells you.

"He doesn't want to ruin your relationship"...come on what does that really tell you? Guys don't care about that if they know sex could be involved?

[angel31]

This is the 2nd time I'll post this today. Bottom line: If he isn't with you, he doesn't WANT to be with you! It's as simple as that. His reasons for not wanting to be with you do not matter, what matters is that if he wanted you, he'd make it known. "he thinks he likes you"? Really? Do you really want to be with a guy who can't even figure out if he likes you? Think about when you're in that situation. If you like a guy, you KNOW you like him. If you're having to "think" about it..chances are, you really don't like it. Why would that ever be a question? If he wanted you, he'd make it known. Respect this, don't make yourself look desperate and find someone who is worth your time. Sorry if this comes across as being harsh, I'm just sick of seeing women on here and EVERYHWHERE torment themselves with the "does he like me" crap. If he likes you, you'll know it. He will do something about it! Why is this such a hard concept for females to grasp??