Single for ages and now...a girl I like

[clueless1011]

Hello Forum

This is my first forum post so be gentle on me please. I'm not sure where to even begin...

About 9yrs ago I fell deeply in love with the girl of my dreams. She was 5yrs older than me and my first girlfriend. Long story short I broke up with her after about 3yrs. Breaking up with her was the hardest thing I have EVER done and for months after that I could bearly eat and battled to drag myself out of bed. I haven't had a girlfriend now for 9yrs. It has taken its toll on me and I feel like a complete loser being alone all the time but whenever I come into contact with a girl I think I like I always think back to the pain I went through with my first girlfriend. I'm 34 now so I'm not getting any younger... Oh, I'm very successful in my career and since starting to work I have done well. I've travelled and worked all over the world, live in a nice place and have no debt.

About a year ago I started working at a new client full time. In the beginning I helped this girl in the marketing department a couple times with some IT problems and she was thankful. I noticed her but at the time was too busy to think anything of it. Fast forward to the last month or two and the following has happened:

1) Out of the blue she emailed me to say that she had been to the shop and had bought some "posh" biscuits and invited (only) me over to grab some (this happened again recently with some cake she had)

2) A couple weeks after the above I emailed her asking her if she likes tea to which she answered yes. We then met one tea break for tea but it was kind of akward and she spoke quiet softly. We spoke about our travels and there weren't any silent akward parts

3) Inbetween the above, she would email me about work related items but often included a smiley face in the message

4) One day I was in the canteen with two other guys I work with having tea/coffee with and she walked in and made small talk to all of us. When I returned to my desk she had emailed me saying (and I quote): I expect an invitation next time you go for a tea break. I have a selection of herbal teas at the moment if you are interested. I accepted the invite and we met for tea the next day which went very well! She completely opened up and we chatted like old friends. I was longing for the tea break to be longer!

5) Yesterday I was helping her with some work related issue via email and when she replied she asked to have tea again next Monday. (I accepted the invite)

Now I have to admit, I am terrible at reading woman. Unless someone actually says to me: I like you (or someone tells me they like me) I usually have no idea. So as you can imagine I have been wondering about this girl. Does she like me? Am I imagining this? Is she just being friendly and nice to me? I should mention that I have no idea if shes single or not. I've never seen her with a guy and her photos online are only with her girlfriends.

What should I do (if anything)? I leave this client in a week so I don't have much time left around her. I was thinking of emailing her on my last day telling her I was interested in her and giving her my contact details but I'm not sure this is a good idea.

Even if she is interested in me (which is unlikely knowing my luck with woman), I am petrified of dating again and having a relationship.

If anyone can offer in advice or assistance I would so very much appreciate it. I am happy to answer any questions if it help.

Thank you all.

[HeartIsAching]

OMG.

Yes, she likes you. Ask her to dinner.

[clueless1011]

That was a fast reply, thank you!

Are you sure? I feel so nervous about even thinking about asking her out. I really am petrified of her answer!!!

[HeartIsAching]

Bring it up in conversation at tea next time. Something simple like "I'm having a really good time. Would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?"

...rehearse it beforehand if you're nervous.

[clueless1011]

Would it be considered "bad" if I were to rather do this via email?

[HeartIsAching]

Not as classy... best done face to face.

Buck up - the worst she can do is say no, right?

[searock]

In person would be better, but email is better than nothing. How about you call her instead?

[clueless1011]

You right, the worst that can happen is she can say no. No big deal for most I guess but I have been single for ages and feel rather fragile regarding this. And when I'm nervous I tend to mumble and mutter and lose track of what I'm saying which ends up making me look like a real idiot!

Can't call her as I don't have her number. I reckon I'll only have one more chance to talk to her next week for tea in the canteen and theres always people around listening. At least with email I can type something up and say what I want to without anything getting lost in translation (yeah I know, not as classy and I'm wimping out).

Damn, this is difficult for me...

[HeartIsAching]

You've spoken to her previously, correct? You said the first tea with her was awkward, so I'm assuming that she's heard you like that already. Relax.

[clueless1011]

I think we were both a bit akward and unsure the first tea we had. The second time we had tea it was like the flood gates were opening and we chatted non stop for half an hour. She also said that there would be a part 2 to that tea and when I left she would have to keep me updated with what happens in the office?

The other thing is, whenever we bump into each other in the passage or around the office it feels akward (I don't feel this way around anyone else in the office). Which reminds me, a couple of times when I have walked past her she has stuck her tongue out at me.

I don't want to do nothing because I am feeling too nervous to speak to her before I leave...

[Desdemona]

This thread reminded me of this video - watch til the end. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3vzWIU-gsg

[clueless1011]

Thanks for the video link, very touching! I hope I can move past the shyness this week...

When I went to bed last night I forgot to mention one point. About 3 months ago I helped this girl with an IT problem that was really difficult and she had been waiting for IT to help her with it for over a month. After she escalated it, the problem came my way and I sorted it out in a day. She sent me an email saying how much she appreciated it but...a week later she surprised me with a thank you card and a big box of chocolates. Now, I have to say, in all my years of working in IT it is very VERY rare for someone to thank me. And its almost unheard of for someone to give me a thank you card with a gift!

[searock]

Have you asked her out yet?

[clueless1011]

No. I'll only see her again tomorrow for tea.

[searock]

OK. It does seem like she's been waiting for you to make a move for a long time. Keep us updated, good luck :-).