can i trust this girl? need advice!

[Braveheart22]

I would like to ask other peoples opinion on this issue, people that dont know me and dont know her. We've argued about it plenty and she starts to make me think that its no big deal and that
i should just let it go. So i said i would ask complete strangers what they thought about these issues that have arisen. I am at the point where i need to decide whether this girl is trust worthy or not so here it goes. We have been together for 8 months, we ended up breaking up a month ago because we were arguing alot and i just couldnt put up with it anymore so we decided to take a break. A few weeks have passed and shes really been portraying that she still loves me and wants to make things work, so i said ok yes i want to make things work as well. So at this point we have decided were going to work on our issues and mend our relationship. Three days later, shes at her brothers fireman graduation party at their house, one of his friends is there and is hitting on her and i cant say how she reacted to this or not but what i can say is what happened after, she is walking out to leave and her brother comes out and says your not going to get his number? Hes a good friend of mine and is a great guy, so he hands her the phone number, this is where i feel she should of been like well me and my bf are working on things i dont want to take this number, but she not only takes the number but calls the guy the same day like hey i got your number. So shes staying at my house to get a ride to work for a week which happens to be right when this happens, so for three day shes textin somebody, i have no idea at this point but her phones blowin up, shes textin every five minutes gigglin and so forth.. So finally im like enough and i confront her, im like who are you textin non stop and such, i end up finally getting the whole story behind which i explained above, and thats how she explains it so who knows if i learned everything or not, she claims she just wanted to be "friends." It makes no sense to me why she would of gotten this guys number and been textin and talking to him on the phone, at this point i dont know what to think so i ended up reading through the text messages with her permission.. she refused to let me read them at first but i said the only reason you wouldnt want me to read those text's is because you have something to hide, at this point she really didn't have much choice. So they were talking about things they like and dont like, they were just asking eachother alot of wierd questions like how do you feel about marriage? kids? Best way i could explain it was the convo seemed like they were pre dating and trying to get to know eachother better or whatever you want to call it. She claims she had no idea this guy was interested in her etc..

So thats my first issue, then just yesterday she asked to see my phone, which i really dont mind i have nothing to hide, so i say fine give me yours. Before she hands me the phone she all of sudden is going through something on her phone which i thought was odd so i look over at the screen and she is deleting something.. So im like uhh what are you deleting? She said oh its a contact. Im like so you decide right before you think im going to be snooping through your phone to delete something? Shes like yeah whats the big deal? Turns out it was a guys number she had gotten during the time we had been seperated for a few weeks and had just happened to remember she should delete it right then.. So this also bothered the crap out of me and shes really good at making it seem like im blowing things out of proportion and im sitting here questioning myself as to whether i am being crazy or not.. So PLEASE answer me this, would YOU trust this person.

[pcmaster]

My quess is that you are a little older than she is and taking everything very serious. Thats why you going crazy, cause you taking heavy damage right now. Just chill out talk with other girls - will help you get your mind of that shit. And you gona be much cooler with the girls you like.

Trust her or not? I wouldnt trust any girl on this planet, not anymore.

[rob1984]

okay, so at the time this all happened you 2 were broken up ? The fact she did not want you to see the messages, but showed you anyways...was so you would not feel jealous or insecure. She is probably just keeping her options open at this time just incase you 2 do not end up back together.. you need to realize women are different from men, they need attention and lots of it. " read my thread and see what 5 yrs old neglect will do " I learned that lesson the hard way. if you were attracted to a girl, what would be the things you would text to her..so it could be something as simple as that.. but then again I do not know her, you know her best and you go with you gut. Over something like this.. I would let it go and try to make things work.. if down the road she is like this and you to are together, then you should question her as to why she feels the need to do this, without getting angry or yell, and just communicate.

[Gwk]

I wouldn't trust her if I were you. She is obviously interested in this other guy and making you feel guilty for not trusting her. You gave her a second chance but she is not taking it seriously.

[michelle23]

I think this is a red flag. First of all you have only been together for 8months which isnt that long and u argue a lot which is bad and now u have trust issues.
Walk away. Is there any point staying in this relationship. You will meet someone better who is as honest and trustworthy as you when u are ready but first you need to dump her.

[michelle23]

Rob thst is a stereotype and i dont appreciate that. The only person i need attention off is my bf and i would never seek it elsewhere. Even if he made me miserable, i would end it before i considered talking to someone else. Cheating is cheating whether you are a man or a women and there is no excuse for it. It is wrong. Please don't judge all women based on one or two bad experiences. We are not all like that. I love my bfax with l my heart and wud never hurt him.

[Braveheart22]

thats what i thought about the arguing which is why i decided to break it off in the first place. i mean when things are ok our relationship is really good. But theres been so many little things like this that start to add up after awhile that really make you question whether your being paranoid or not. She claims that its no big deal allll the time. But it makes no sense why she would continue trying to be with me if she was just playin me the whole time. its really confusing, but i know one thing i do not fully trust her regardless at all because of these instances.

[rob1984]

Michelle, a womans first instinct when looking for a mate is, if they can have good physical character to father her kids,over time humans started mixing those nature instincts with nurtured ones.. its why we are screwed up. In our society when a woman does not get attention, she automatically gets into defensive mode and subconsciously needs to fill that void.. even if its small flirting, befriending another guy or start talking to an EX, its your own doing, as you feel its all platonic, its more of an just incase type of thing. He and his GF broke up, she felt very uneasy about the relationship.,. its only normal she would keep her eyes open for someone to procreate with. Men on the other hand or dominate and they want what was theirs, so no one else can have it, and that is a huge ego blow,You may believe me or not, its your choice. Some people handle the neglect in a wrong way, ( read my thread ) your actions as a cheater has to do with how one was raised, and for girls, the relationship with her father. A neglecting father, will have her going after someone who is older then her, an abusive father or alcoholic, will teach her no self respect. and So on.. it something similar to the " Electra Complex " spelling could be of.

So not all woman are like this, but most are. 80% of relationships have some form of infidelity, Braveheart... before you potentially lose her, communicate with her, ask her what does that guy have that you like, what is it that you like about me ect.. there is nothing wrong with that and i'll make you a better man, plus she will see you as a perfect mate to have kids. Believe me.

How old are you 2 ?