I've been with my GF for 7 years going on 8. In my opinion the frequency of sex was poor (intercourse 1-2 times a week). We werent living with each other so we had to settle for quickies. I've always complained about it because I wanted more. I would frequently express my desire to leave to find someone who was sexually compatible to me (at least 3-5 times a week). Thing is she would tell me it would get better years before we started living together and I stayed believing it would.
When we started living together I started to learn how conservative and sneaky she was. After 7 years she told me she was bi. As im typing this topic shes sleeping with her phone on vibrate under her pillow. Ive found deleted messages in her phone. She has female friends that i dont want her to hang out with because she tells me very little about them and after 7 years ive never even hung out with them. And on top of all that we have sex on average, every 3-4 days but usually when she initiates rarely when I do.
I can mention a plethora of red flags from accepting her ex-bf's friend request, spraying perfume on her panties before going to work and getting mad at me for inquiring, coming home from 8 hours of work claims to be tired but telling me very little about her day, and more. I personally feel like this situation is so complex that I would have to create 3 more topics in order to get the solution to my problem.
I am so confused. She's getting older and I'm hoping she realizes this hell I'm going through. I'm no psychic but by the looks of things I fear an impending doom. I don't want to be devastated (by the news of her being pregnant with someone's else's baby or an STD). I don't want to be afraid to trust/love someone with my all. I just want to salvage the little bit of love that I have left and give it to the right person. But I'm afraid that ill have to deal with this crap all over again. I don't want to change for the worst. I need love. I need advice/opinions as to what i should do. I know I should leave but what should I do before I go.
Which brings me to the ultimate question, Ladies how does a woman build trust with her man? Is it through making love, extreme openness and honesty? What should I expect or demand from her in order to be able to trust her? Please help.