I am really confused

[Tgirl]

I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 years and have a baby gal and doing business together, 4 months ago we decided to move in, in my house, well it was ok at first and 6 weeks down the line we had so many fights, Im a clean freak and he would mess up the house just to despise me so our fights were mainly about that and whatsapp, etc but not important staff so 3 weeks ago we had a big fight in the morning about the water, I pay for the water and Im still paying the bond for the house, so when he take a bath he would open the tap and dont put a stop, like he is using a shower and this will continue for about half an hour so I would always tell him that I pay for the water but he never stop doing it and it dsnt matter whether they were for free I dont believe in wasting resources so I told him

He became angry and told me Im lying I dont pay for the water, and he was holding my towel and then I became upset, I hate being told Im lying when Im telling the truth so I was angry and grabbed my towel from him which he beat me with and I dared him never to beat me again and he repeatedly beat me asking me what am I gona do so I pointed at him with anger, actually I wanted to slap him but I stopped myself he is doing marshal arts and he is very masculine so I wouldnt then I grabbed the towel again, he hold my hands so aggressively and I bite his hands with my teeth so the he remove his hands from my wrists thats when he slapped me untill I profusely bled and my eye became red and my face swollen

after that I told him to pack all his belongings and leave so he came back from work and packed his clothes and left to his friend's place, and he was upset at me coz I chased him away so we had so many fights after that, and then I stoped talking to him, responding to his calls, to his text or whatsapp and then whenever he wants to talk to me he would pretend its business or its about the child and now he is been apologising and asking his friends to talk to me that he loves me and want things to work again and I still ignored all these cries coz I fear that we still gona fight what if he beats me again,

I still love him and I really dont know what to do, if I shud give him another chance or just talk to him only when its about business please advice

[smackie9]

NO! do not give him a chance....not right now, and don't live with him. This can't possibly be the first incident to occur, this will not stop, this guy has a huge problem and needs to be dealt with. You need tell him to seek out anger management therapy. If he refuses, then get a lawyer about custody, and child support. I can see him turning into a manipulative asshole and saying crap about you to the child.

BTW in my opinion you should have reported this to the police.

[Tgirl]

Thanks for the replpy Smackie, much appriciated, and it was the first time he got physical with me, yes we have fought exchanging words only and he isnt interested in the custody of the child he just wants to see her whenever he can

I didnt report it to the police because I was really traumatized and talking about it to anyway was way too difficult and all I ever wanted was to forget about it and move on with my life so dragging it to the court was just gona stall the healing process, I thought anyway

[pcmaster]

I actually laughted when read about hitting with towel(didnt believe he would touch you), but than bleeding face is not funny anymore. However you bite him too so it didnt came from blue air. It was selfdefence - If a bitch would bite me I would hit the dog too - especially after verbal abuse that hurts more than teeth(I believe you did disrespect him strongly just dont mention it here.)

Yes you both did wrong but I believe he could beat you 100 times worse than he did, its just he didnt realise his strenght when he grabbed you and you took it too seriously. However try to understand the man. When you dont give a shit about water cause its just a thing and someone abuses you personaly(I would feel that water is more importand than me to a person who verbaly attacks me) for completly meaningless thing to you - it does hurt. Especially if its hight piched uncontroled voice.

And if you are a person who even after get slapping in the face kept chasing him and still fighting like the fact that you kicked him out of house wouldnt be enought. That only shows how disrespectful and one sided you was. Fighting is about taking away respect and getting it to yourself.

Simple talk and listening to each other would prevent the trouble.

Hope you both will grow up one day. Take it easy

[michelle23]

This is why it is good to live together before marriage. Your too uptight when it comes to cleaning/money etc and hes too laid back. It will not work no matter what unless you are both willing to compromise.

But the violence that occurred as a result of all this is a red flag and you and he should not be together unless you are both willing to go for relationship counselling.

[Lubna]

Yes .......... I agree with you.