I know I should hate him even more now...

[michelle23]

Oh stop it! Get all dolled up, go out and go sit at a bar for a few hours. Someone will start chatting you up. It will boost your confidence if nothing else and it will distract you for awhile. A rebound will do you good. I normally never recommend a rebound so I am changing all my rules here just for you but you really need to learn there is LIFE beyond him.

Your trapped right now and you need to see what else is out there. Go do it! If you don't want to go to a bar-join a group such as music, art, a sport-whatever.. just meet no people. No excuses.

[kskts6115]

It definitely is easier said than done I know, but you have to be strong and do this for yourself. It is easier to just sit in bed all day and feel sad but it won't do you any good. Obviously you are still young and don't deserve to hurt over this guy for your whole life. Yes it's going to take time to get over but you can do it. You need to come up with a list of new positive things to do and start treating yourself better. I know it's hard and I'm going through the same pain but when you get out there and away from him there will be moments when you feel okay and even good sometimes. And slowly it won't hurt as much. You aren't alone with the pain because if you look on here you can see so many people feel the same way but eventually I'm sure they stop coming on because they move on with their lives and we will too. Remember you only have 10 years in your 20s so don't waste them being sad over this guy. There's someone better out there for you and before you meet him don't you want to have your life together?

[michelle23]

Seriously OP-do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better, boost your confidence and go to your nearest library and get some self help books or look up "how to boost your self esteem".

Wallowing in self pity will not help you at all. You need to stay strong. We all have empathy for you and what you are going through-we know how hard it must be but sometimes you just have to know when to say **** you to someone who has hurt you and put yourself first.

Be strong, independent, move on, show him what your worth and what he is missing and then when he tries to get you back-you can laugh in his face and say **** you!

[michelle23]

And STOP thinking noone else will want you-that is not true! That is what he has done to you.. There are billions of men in the world and thousands or even millions who would treat you way better then he ever did.

[brokenhearted91]

I know I need to be strong for myself, and I really want to. I am trying, I've been arranging to do stuff more with friends & go out with them etc. I just feel like I'm so undesirable, I've been to bars and clubs for the past 3/4 years and not one person has ever stopped to talk to me or whatever. He was the only person who has ever truly took the time to get to know me, which is why it hurts so much that I seem to have lost him because I know how much he must have cared for me and I didn't see it when I should have.

I do wanna boost my confidence and make myself happier though, and I do wanna show him what he's missing - so he regrets his decision and who knows, even when that does happen, I might be in a better place and can say I've moved on.

[michelle23]

You are not undesirable-stop thinking like that. You said you are shy? Shy people are hard to approach and awkward silences etc.. Try to be more confident/less nervous, flirt. You ll get lots of interest. Don't be afraid to give eye contact or even be forward and give someone your number. What have you got to lose? He is the only person you have given a chance to get to know you properly.

Youve been at that college for ages and have no friends? See my point.. Get out and about-you will meet people. Walk through the corridors like a goddess-strut your stuff. Youll get lots of interest.

[michelle23]

Be independent, cool, have a "whatever" attitude. "Love me or hate me I don't give a ****" It works

[brokenhearted91]

I do try that, and I feel confident when I'm getting ready to go out, and then when I get out there are so many other girls around that are thinner and prettier than me who gets everyone's attention and it makes me feel so sad. I'm not desperate for anything but sometimes it would be nice to feel like there are people that want me and my ex is the only person in 21 years of my life that's ever made me feel like I'm wanted. I feel like if I give people eye contact and flirt they'll look and be like woah fat girl checking me out and like back off. I'm such a nervous person I never know what to talk about, I always think people think I'm dull and boring

[michelle23]

"so many other girls around that are thinner and prettier than me who gets everyone's attention and it makes me feel so sad". "woah fat girl checking me out and like back off". "I always think people think I'm dull and boring"

That is your problem right there. Stop seeing other women as a threat. Stop thinking you are fat. Stop thinking you are dull. You need to start seeing yourself in a better light OP. There is nothing wrong with you. Nobody is perfect. We all have flaws. Take steps to change some of the things you don't like about yourself if it really bothers you. Do a detox, go for a jog every day. Find a friend who wants to work out with you.

A friend of mine is very insecure about her weight and she can never see herself through other peoples eyes. I think she is beautiful, kind, fun, makes me laugh all the time, great at keeping secrets, the bestest friend in the whole world. I don't look at her and think "shes fat". I look at her and smile and think "she deserves to be happy, I wish shed be more confident" and I really do SMILE every time I think about her and she brightens my day.

Start seeing yourself through other peoples eyes. If you don't think you are the stereotypical definition of beauty-so what!! Lots of men love curvy women. Everyone has a different definition of beauty and its whats on the inside that really counts.

You need to accept yourself for who you are and do whatever you need to, to feel better xx

[HeartIsAching]

^^^this is good advice.

Additionally, if it really bothers you (for you) then do something about it rather than whining. It's not easy (I know!) but it's possible.

[michelle23]

Heart is aching-how do you do those arrows?? I cant do them on my labtop for some reason..

[michelle23]

A very good natural healthy detox is Forever living products-clean 9. Its a 9 day cleansing program. It really works, its 100% natural and good for your health. Its expensive but well worth it. You could get it online if you want. Youll probably lose between 10-14lbs in 9days My friend did it last year and lost 11lbs. Shes lost another 2 stone since then and feels amazing.

Once you get rid of any unnatural toxins that build up in your colon over time-the weight seems to drop naturally as the only reason the body stores fat is to protect itself from these toxins.

If you have any conditions such as eczema, acne, diabetes etc-write to the company first and ask them is it safe to take the detox.

[HeartIsAching]

Heart is aching-how do you do those arrows?? I cant do them on my labtop for some reason..

Shift-6 key.

[michelle23]

thanks a mill