What does she want?

[newbi]

A girl messaged me online about 2 months ago. After we chatted back and forth, it was clear that we had a clear chemistry between the two of us, as we would spend hours talking on end every single night. We've met up twice (once 2 weeks after she messaged me, and once 2 weeks after that) and there was a spark between us, one thing led to another and we had sex that night. We don't live in the same town (about 2 hours drive on a good day), so there is not a lot of chance to see each other regularly (we both have busy schedules, I work Monday to Saturday and the occasional Sunday, and she has two jobs which take up most of her time, although one is flexible but her weekends are usually filled) but I have been wanting to see her again and she hasn't been especially receptive (she just keeps saying "we'll see, i have to work and i'm really busy")......In the meantime, we would still talk every single night (she almost always initiates the convos), where we would talk about anything, but the more relevant pieces would be that she would tell me about her intimacy problems (how she doesn't really like sex and would only occasionally have it), that she really doesn't like hanging out with her friends people in general, and that she was treated really badly by her ex (not abusive though).

I am a bit unsure about what she wants out of this because I'm getting mixed signals here. If she is not interested (in an actual relationship or fwb thing), then why is she talking to me all the time? It doesn't make sense for her to invest all this time every single night into a guy she has no intention to ever be with, and for her to reveal all her personal issues, insecurities, etc to me. If she does want something, then why not try to find time for each other to meet up in person and continue pursuing this? Personally, I would like to try to make it work with her (relationship or fwb, anything for a chance to get to know each other more in person), but I've tried asking before and as far as I am concerned the ball is in her court. I have no intention of investing all this time and effort into chatting with a girl every night in which I have no chance of ever being with.

So the question is, what is she looking for and thinking with me? Is she leading me on, or hoping that one day I'll get the hint and go away? How can I tell her that there needs to be some face time between the two of us to take this further without sounding too pushy? Should I just cut off all contact with her? This is driving me nuts. Please help.

[Hawkeye]

Just tell her you want to know more about her before becoming comited. Best of luck

[newbi]

That is the thing though. I know quite a bit about her personal life but I get the feeling she has commitment issues (or is still browsing around), I can't really tell. I would like to see whether she is open to the two of us exploring the two of us at a faster pace (ie. more than just chatting online and actually meeting up more than once in a blue moon) but I don't want to sound too pushy or it will scare her off (especially if she isn't looking for something serious, then I will have driven her away forever and I don't want that...). That is why I want to have an idea what she is thinking and looking for first before I make a move. What questions can I ask/hint to her to find out?

[michelle23]

She already told you she has intimacy issues-only wants sex occasionally-shes too busy for a relationship etc.

Your wasting your time OP. Move on

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Have you ever seen the show catfish? That is what is happening here. The girl you've been messaging is an African-American, gay male.

[Rowen]

Michelle has the right idea. Move on while you're not too deep in it. And I have no idea what Backup means, but...okay. lol