cell phone passwords

[mylov]

I just recently broke up with my boyfriend. We were together for five years. He believed in privacy and that he shouldn't share his cell phone password. What do you guys think?

[rob1984]

he is entitled to his privacy.. if you suspect something call him on it, and do not assume. You wanting his password shows you do not trust him, if you do not trust him then end it.

[Love'sReject]

Yeah, trusting girls who could go on to become spiteful exes certain private info would not be a good idea...

[mylov]

I never assumed and always trusted him. I moved in with him back in 2011 and I noticed that the same girls (more than one girl) were texting him everyday more than once a day. I started to question it and he said that they were only friends. I snooped around and got his password.... Well I found out that they were more than friends. I had never asked him for his password and always trusted him until this happened. I believe that if he had nothing to hide he wouldn't have cared when I questioned it and he would have given me his password

[basilandthyme]

I think there's no right or wrong - it's personal choice.

[rob1984]

if you questioned it, you have to be honest with him as to why you want it.. if you tell him you got into his stuff, it pretty much makes you as trusting as he is then, so has he cheated on you, or talking to his exes??? whats the deal here

[rob1984]

i think you breaking up with your bf you have been with for 5 years, because he wants privacy, is ridiculous and he is better off with a confident and secure woman. IF you have some proof of him cheating you communicate with him and talk.

[mylov]

Rob1984 I moved in with my boyfriend back in 2011. I used to trust him and never before asked him for the password. I started to notice different girls texting him everyday, more than once a day. I would just see the text of the girls who were texting but not the messages. I started to question it and he said that they were only friends so I investigated and got his password. I found out that they were more than friends. The text messages continued even after I confronted him. I understand that men have girl friends and I respect that. I have friends of my own but I would never hide anything from him. If a guy friend called me I would answer in front of him and if someone text me I wouldn't turn my cell phone away like he did. I believe that if he had nothing to hide then he wouldn't care what I saw if he was texting someone.... Furthermore, that's not the reason why we broke up, but I do admit that it was one of the foundations for our relationship to fade away. After that I couldn't trust him as much and the cell phone thing continued to be a problem. I love him and I was hoping that things would change but nothing changed. After all it ended up falling apart with the fighting and my jealousy.

[michelle23]

Your better off without him. He is not trustworthy. Take some time to heal and forget him

Stay strong. You will meet someone better who has more integrity and more respect for you

[michelle23]

Password on his phone that he wont give you means he is hiding something. And you wouldn't ask to see his phone unless you thought he was up to something right? Dump him.

[mylov]

Thank you Michelle23. I agree

[ashley89]

I think you should be able to trust him. why did you want his cell phone password? did you think he was talking to other girls or doing something sneaky? if so you should have brought that up to him, not tried sneaking around going on his phone. I have a password on my phone not because I'm hiding anything but because it is my phone and I want some privacy. I think Rowen brought this up in another post, but everyone deserves some space and privacy, even when you're in a relationship. a phone is a personal item and isn't really something meant to be shared. I wouldn't like it if someone were able to go through all my texts and read personal conversations I had with people, or get access to my Facebook/Twitter/etc. also I have banking information and apps on my phone and wouldn't want someone to have access to that either. I think girls who need to go through their boyfriends texts or emails are insecure and are looking to find something wrong. if he is your boyfriend you should trust him, if you don't that is an issue you should have talked about with him.

[bearz]

I agree with ashley89, you shouldn't have gone through his phone. You had a suspicion and it proved to be true. But what if all the texts had been harmless and he would have found out that you went through his phone? He might be as upset as you are right now. You really have to respect someone's privacy, even if they are the closest person in your life. More importantly, you have to trust each other and be honest. If you can't do that there is no point in a relationship.

[FriendlyStrange]

To answer the original post, I am such an intensely private person and I refuse to give anyone my passwords to anything. I could be married to someone for 20 years and I wouldn't allow it, I have been this way my entire life.

I never assumed and always trusted him. I moved in with him back in 2011 and I noticed that the same girls (more than one girl) were texting him everyday more than once a day. I started to question it and he said that they were only friends. I snooped around and got his password.... Well I found out that they were more than friends. I had never asked him for his password and always trusted him until this happened. I believe that if he had nothing to hide he wouldn't have cared when I questioned it and he would have given me his password

This extra information makes me understand your view a little more. I don't agree with snooping though, and just because someone has nothing to hide it doesn't mean they'd be ok with handing over their password. Are people expected to do this when asked in order to be trusted?

I think the cheating is a very fair reason to leave him, and that is totally understandable. However I don't agree in general that one should be expected to hand over their passwords when their partners request it, else it means they're "hiding something".

[michelle23]

I agree looking through someones phone is wrong-I have never done that but I have never had reason to suspect my boyfriend of anything. If I thought he was up to something-I would do whatever it takes to get to the truth as I am not willing to live a lie.

I think if the trust is broken-then you have every right to find out if your partner is betraying you.

If I thought he was sleeping with someone else I would not want him anywhere near me so if I suspected that-I would find proof and leave..