Who should say I LOVE YOU?

[halfandhalf12]

In my opinion, I love you, is a phrase that should be said when it is felt. It shouldn't matter whether you are the man or woman in the relationship. If you both love each other, you should each equally feel as though you want to tell the other person that you love them.

With that being said, do most women seem to think that the guy should say "I Love You" first?

Do women think that men should be the one to say "I Love You" first, at the end of a conversation or before going to bed?

Women what do you think about this?

Men, what do you think about this?

[tassy]

I'm not a man lol but i think as a woman it is nice, special hearing it first, but i also like saying it first and how that makes my partner feel. I think that it shouldnt be about keeping a tally on who says it more first or second it should be both saying it first, or whenever they feel it, if someone in the relationship is feeling like they dont hear it enough or first enough then that should be heard, acted upon and respected, not taken in a defensive manner otherwise it is not about his/her feelings (the one with the issue) it becomes about yours. If you love someone and they want or need to hear it more first from you and you find that to be an issue and something that you dont want to rectify then maybe just maybe you are not as inlove as you think. Just my opinion. Good luck.

[halfandhalf12]

I'm glad you replied. I intended the post to be for both men and women to reply. I edited it to show that. Even being a man, I feel very much agree with you in your feelings on this. However, I have come across many females, both through dating and through friendships, who seem to think that it is a mans responsibility to say I love you first. In fact, I dated a girl that would not be the first to say I Love you at night before going to sleep (whether we were in the same bed or texting to each other from different places). I have always felt that saying I Love You when getting off of the phone, leaving to go to work or even at the very least, before going to bed at night, is important, because you never know if that is the last time that you are going to speak to that person. I don't expect others to think the same way I do, however, when I discussed that with girlfriends in the past, they still continued to go to sleep without saying I Love You. Sometimes they would say it, but many times they would not. I always wondered if it was an "old world style" of thinking, that a man should be the one to say it first in most occaions.

[pcmaster]

I would like to say it first.

Imagine that you are a woman and you have that hole down there - you will expect things come to you not you going for things. I think thats why womens are more passive than we are.

[Slefgor]

As for the first time saying it in a relationship, I feel like if you know the time is right, say it, hopefully they feel the same way and say it back. As for after that, either one should say it when they feel like saying it, and if you use it to end a phone conversation or when saying goodbye, who ever is "leaving" first or would normally say "bye" first should say it. In my experience its naturally been even, never felt like someone was making more effort than the other to say it. If it feels inadequate maybe you need to look at the bigger picture?

[michelle23]

I think the first time most people are afraid the other wont say it back so its more of "if it feels right" you should say it and if its not too soon...
I don't think it matters who says it first as long as the other is not gobsmacked and wants to run away.
As for every time after that-you should say it at least once a day and it doesn't matter who says it first each time.

[FlaCooln]

I don't worry about who says it first. In the past I usually know/feel I am in love well before I say it. I will eventually say it without thinking and it kinda just comes out (unless she beats me to it). I prefer not to plan to say and let the "I love you" come out naturally, as to me that is more real.

[Indefinable]

I'm a male.

It isn't important who say "I love you" first. The only important is that the person who say these words is completely sure about his feelings. In a relationship always there is one who feels more than the other, specially on the firsts months. And that person who feels more could be male or female. Normally, it will be this person who pronounce the words first, independent of it is man or woman.

[bearz]

I haven't been in a situation where I could say these words to someone I love, so actually saying it would mean a lot to me and hopefully to the other person as well. I am usually very emotional and have to share my feelings (too much and often at times) so I probably would be the first one to say it anyway. I definitely would want that moment to be special and romantic as well.

[ruffles777]

Wish my partner would say he loves me after 5yrs, says he doesnt use the love word, so upsetting you dont really know how they feel when they are like this? it gets me so upset sometimes?

[toknow]

Don't say it unless you really mean it. Saying words you don't mean can backfire. When you feel it, it shows and it's backed up by actions both conscious and subconscious and the person on the receiving end will also pick up on the validity of that word. So it has to be real. This is why many people see some romantic movies as corny and they don't even realize why they see them that way. It's not because they are overly romantic, but because there was nothing to backup the romance - the love doesn't look real. Nothing led the viewers to believe there was enough love to provoke the romantic response. So it looks fake and not believable.