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Thread: Another broken heart....

  1. #1
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    Another broken heart....

    Hello all

    In 2008, i found out that my wife of 14 years had cheated on me. We have 2 kids and things started going downhill around the 7 year itch. I was devasted but figured i would stay in the marriage because i wanted to be with my kids. I knew my life was going to suck but it was my choice to stay. My wife (now ex of course - Sharon) continued to see the guy she cheated on me with. About 6 months later I met a woman named Jo Ann who showed a lot of interest in me. We soon began seeing each other and it was like a gift from God. She was in the middle of a divorce. We fell in love fairly quickly and i couldn't believe what love felt like again. I was floating on cloud 9 and so was she. I soon filed for divorce and eventually we both divorced our ex's and started our lives happy and in love once again.

    Our relationship was difficult from the start because she has 2 kids and has them 24/7/365. Her deadbeat ex never took them or wanted them. Her kids resisted us greatly, especially her 11 year old daughter. Because she always had her kids and i had mine half the time, we didn't get to see each other much but treasured the time we had. I treated her like a queen and she treated me like a king. She made me feel so great about myself and so happy and loved.

    After the 2 year point in our relationship, i noticed things were starting to change. We often fought a lot mostly over frustration of not being able to see each other but we always made up quickly. We've now been going out for 3.5 years and the last 1.5 years has been a constant change for the bad. Now everything i say and do pisses her off and she has said that she can't dedicate time for me because her kids have her going non stop. Her kids do indeed keep her going. They both have multiple activites and there is not a single night she doesn't have to drive them somewhere. She recently said she doesn't want to stay up late for sex anymore because she is too tired at work. Between the now lack of sex and her getting mad at me for everything i say and do, i realize our relationship is over. she is 50 and i had hoped her mood swings were menopause based but i'm sure this is not the case. Everything has changed. I love her so much and i can't believe her feelings for me have changed. There is so much more to this story but i don't want to bore you guys. Anyway, tomorrow i asked to meet her and i plan to break up with her. I know it's what she wants. I don't make her happy anymore. I just can't believe it's over. I had thought we would grow old together and now it's over and i'm heartbroken.

    I'll let you guys know how it goes tomorrow but i know it can only be bad. They say that you know when your relationship is over and i would have to agree. I've been fooling myself for the past year with her. It's going to be so hard to imagine my life without her in it.

  2. #2
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    Its difficult-you have been through a lot. I think you should take some time out now for yourself and heal. Eventually you will be in a better place emotionally to meet someone else.

  3. #3
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    You know every bad thing is for the best. Don't worry everything will be OK. Every break up is sad and depressive but you will met someone just for you. The good side of the situation is that - now you can do anything you want and to fill your time with something you like to do. Wish you the best

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by FoundAgain View Post
    You know every bad thing is for the best. Don't worry everything will be OK. Every break up is sad and depressive but you will met someone just for you. The good side of the situation is that - now you can do anything you want and to fill your time with something you like to do. Wish you the best
    I am totally agreee with you dear. Its the rule of nature. So do not bring it on your heart. God bless you.
    john

  5. #5
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    Thank you for the replies, i appreciate that

    So, I went to her house that Monday and told her i can't stay in this relationship anymore in this state. She eased up and said that she is still in love with me. We talked for about an hour but even though she said she was still in love with me, i still didin't really feel it was all that true. But we had a good talk and decided to talk again 2 days later on Wednesday.

    The very next day, i bought her a really nice bouquet of roses and other flowers as well as a very loving note attached to them and had them delivered to her at work. She texted me that they were beautiful but no mention of my note. She said she would call me when she could to thank me in voice. She couldn't take 2 minutes to call me? Well, it took her 2.5 hours before she finally called me and i was pissed although i didn't show it to her. Any other time, she would have called me instantly but not now. So, we talked on the phone that night about our meeting the next day. She said she would let me know during the day (wednesday) to confirm she could still meet me. Well, i waited all day and she never told me. Finally, at 4p (the time we were supposed to meet), i called her and said, "you were supposed to let me know if today's meeting was still on". Now mind you, our relationship was hanging on the edge and this meeting would either make or break it. So she tells me that she is jogging!!! I said, "so jogging is more imprtant than our relationship??". She got PISSED at me! She said jogging makes her feel good and i should respect that!!. She said she forgot about our meeting and was pissed at me for not reminding her!. Well, that was enough for me. I said we don't need to meet now because i have my answer and i told her to enjoy her jogging. She called me that night to tell me how mad she was at me. Now, you guys see what is going on here right? Am i wrong to be upset that she blew me off to go jogging when our relationship was hanging in the balance? If she would ahve said something like, "hey, mind if i go jogging first then we'll meet up?"...i'd have said "sure, no problem".

    Anyway, when we talked on the phone i finally got her to admit maybe she wasn't in love with me anymore. We haven't spoken in any way since and it's been 9 days. The first day after the breakup i felt a little relief that the long hard fight was over but i knew that would change and it has. I'm broken hearted and depressed. Every day is just unhappiness and i feel like a zombie walking around. I had hoped that at some point she would have at least texted me some kind of regret but nothing. I treated her like a queen with more love than most men give and it was all for nothing. I went from thinking i would be spending my life with this woman and now its over with her hating me.

    I know time heals all wounds. I know things will get better in time. I hear all the talk that i will find someone better but you all know that none of that makes me feel better now. I can understand my wife falling out of love with me because she lived in her own world but i gave 110% to this woman, i was there for her though all her problems with her ex and family and money etc etc and it was all for nothing. I guess the part that hurts is that we part in a bad way. She will forget about me in time and probably only have these end negative thoughts about me. I can't believe i will never hold her again or tell her how much i love her.

    Thanks for reading

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