Platonic backrub?

**starry23** · 26-02-13, 03:23 AM

My girlfriends pointed out that guy friend and I have an odd friendship. We sometimes give each other massages after having dinner and while watching a movie. Usually snuggling follows. We're both single and straight. Yet, we're not a couple. Can guys and girls do this and have it be strictly platonic and just a high level of comfort?

**ashley89** · 26-02-13, 03:27 AM

it depends, usually massages lead to physical things between a guy and a girl. are you sure neither one of you is interested in the other?

**basilandthyme** · 26-02-13, 03:33 AM

hmmm....I've never given a back rub to someone who I don't have the hots for.

**starry23** · 26-02-13, 03:35 AM

Eh, we went on a few dates about a year and half ago. He broke it off at first because he thought I might be moving away for graduate school, but I ended up staying in the area. I wanted to leave the this history out of the initial post because I don't want it to cloud people's judgement

We've periodically hooked up (mostly making out, no sex, although we came close to doing it twice) in the last year. About 7 months ago, he said, we're just friends and that he's not interested in me that way...so it's confusing because hook-ups followed even after that statement. He's one of my best friends now, and I know he's not just trying to use me. It's confusing though... Lately, in the last few months, we've been talking every day and just having a blast...no drama.

**bearz** · 26-02-13, 03:37 AM

It's probably only a matter of time until this will lead to more than just a massage and snuggling. Would that be a bad thing in your mind?

I once had a good friendship with a girl and we would snuggle as well, she even had a boyfriend and he was also a good friend of mine. We all got along quite well and never had any issues with each other, at least none that I know of.

**starry23** · 27-02-13, 12:23 AM

Originally Posted by bearz

It's probably only a matter of time until this will lead to more than just a massage and snuggling. Would that be a bad thing in your mind?

I once had a good friendship with a girl and we would snuggle as well, she even had a boyfriend and he was also a good friend of mine. We all got along quite well and never had any issues with each other, at least none that I know of.

It's totally not a bad thing!!!

**michelle23** · 27-02-13, 12:30 AM

If you are interested in him romantically but he made it clear hes not-the best you can hope for is fwb. Are you happy to settle for that? Or would you prefer to cut contact and meet someone who wants a relationship with you?

Your choice

**bearz** · 27-02-13, 12:48 AM

Originally Posted by starry23

It's totally not a bad thing!!!

Keep in mind that if you do take it a step further and you both aren't on the same page, chances are pretty high that someone's going to get hurt.

Have you ever talked about what is going on between you and how you feel towards each other?

**starry23** · 08-03-13, 07:58 AM

Well, since I've posted this stuff has happened...

We have talked about our relationship back this past summer and back then, he wanted to just keep being friends....however, this past week, I ended up hanging out with him again and yes, backrub progressed to full-blown makeout session plus maybe a little more. We took a little "break" in the midst of this, and I said, "you like my hair" because he kept playing with it...and he replied, "I like you." I laughed and said, jokingly, "No, you don't; we're friends!" He smiled and got on top of me and started making out with me again.

Anyways, we've been talking every day since. No awkwardness...

**bearz** · 08-03-13, 08:01 AM

So much for a platonic friendship, he wants you.

**starry23** · 08-03-13, 08:05 AM

You think he meant it?

**IndiReloaded** · 08-03-13, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by starry23

Well, since I've posted this stuff has happened...

We have talked about our relationship back this past summer and back then, he wanted to just keep being friends....however, this past week, I ended up hanging out with him again and yes, backrub progressed to full-blown makeout session plus maybe a little more. We took a little "break" in the midst of this, and I said, "you like my hair" because he kept playing with it...and he replied, "I like you." I laughed and said, jokingly, "No, you don't; we're friends!" He smiled and got on top of me and started making out with me again.

Anyways, we've been talking every day since. No awkwardness...

Denial. This isn't 'just friends'.

**bearz** · 08-03-13, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by starry23

You think he meant it?

Well, he definitely wants more than just a friendship and a backrub if he's all over you and making out with you (and more). The question now is, does he just want sex or an actual relationship with you?

**starry23** · 08-03-13, 08:13 AM

I wish I knew the answer to that...the topic of sex did get brought up but he seemed to want to just cuddle and not do it just yet....I was teasing him and said, "no sex?" and he said, "not tonight...let's just chill." He didn't seem turned off by it or anything, just said it nonchalantly, and the guy had work at 5am the next morning. Anyways, at 9, he decided to go to bed, so I said, I was gonna leave. He insisted that he walk me to my car but I said, it's fine and he doesn't need to. He walked me to my car anyways, and of course, I give him a hug and he kisses me again.

**bearz** · 08-03-13, 08:17 AM

So after all of this, do you think you have feelings for him?

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