Confused - Should I wait around for my long distance boyfriend or move on?

[SalientPoint]

My bf and I have been together for about a year now and even though it's long distance (he lives in Europe) his job as a freelancer allowed him to come here for 4 months, during which time we lived together and things seemed to go really well. When he first came, we had BOTH agreed that before he left we'd come up with some kind of plan regarding whether we wanted to stay together and how we'd make it happen. Well, before he left I brought up the plan idea a few times, and he kept not wanting to discuss it or come up with one, so finally I let it go. He went back to Europe and after he'd been back for a bit, I asked if we had any future and if so how we'd make it happen. He said he wanted to stay together but he didn't want to move to the U.S. so I offered to move to where he was (he had suggested it several times in the past) even though I'd have way more to lose since I'd have to quit my job, give up my apartment, and I don't speak the language. At first he seemed into the plan, but every time I try and discuss it, while he does seem like he really wants to be with me, I know he probably isn't ready for the comitment, and it reflects in his attitude and reluctance. The problem is things at my job are in total flux right now, and rumor has it I may get laid off, so if I'm going to stay in the U.S. I need to find a new job asap, or at least start looking now. But he's told me if I have to stay here then it's over because he doesn't want to move here. So basically I'm feeling like I either need to accept that it's over because he's not ready for comitment and start looking for new jobs here, or I could wait awhile, hope I don't lose my job, and see if he changes his mind? I told him if he needs time on his own to think about it, that's totally ok, but it's pretty obvious he's trying to stay close to me without having to make any sort of decision/sacrifice. Should I wait around more? I was going to give him a week, but at this point I'm just really confused.

I'm totally NOT one of those pushy commitment type girls, which is why this is so ironic, but the job situation is what is putting a timeline on the whole thing. There's a ton of layoff's going on in my department right now, and we've pretty much been told that we either need to transition to a new department or look for another job. I HATE the department that I would be re-sent to, so I'd prefer to look for another job, but I told bf that if he was serious about the moving thing I would stick it out in the hated department for a couple of months so I could save up and then move, but if I need to start searching for a new job it's something that needs to happen now. I know that it puts unfair pressure on him, but it's still something that can't be helped since he said he doesn't want to move here and I can't control my current job situation.

[bearz]

You already know one thing for sure, he isn't willing to sacrifice his job for you. If he actually had a job within a good company and the possibility of a career there I could see why he wouldn't want to move. But as a freelancer? Now you add in the fact that he doesn't really want you to move to Europe either, so I think the choice has already been made for you.

[SalientPoint]

Thank you! I think logically I know you're right, but because I'm not the kind of girl that's EVER had the " where is this going talk?" and now I'm having it, It's easy for me to feel like I'm pushing for too much commitment too soon. I understand it's a big decision for him as well, and I would like to give him more time to think about it, but again cause of the crush of the job situation, unfortunately time isn't as much of a luxury as I'd like it to be, so I didn't know if I was being irrational by not giving him more time or waiting around.

[bearz]

It's going to be one of those conversations you just don't want to have. But you two need to decide what you are going to do, or most likely not do in this case. If he truly loved you he would embrace the idea of you moving to be close to him but that clearly doesn't seem to be the case. Moving to a different country, yet a different continent, is a huge step for anyone and I wouldn't do it unless I was 100% sure that I would be happy there. I moved from Europe to the US myself, so I know.